


Closed Doors

by silenciumspiritum



Category: Silent Witness (TV)
Genre: Crime Scenes, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:48:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 65,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22736692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silenciumspiritum/pseuds/silenciumspiritum
Summary: Jack and Nikki post series 23. What happens now that Thomas is dead and Clarissa has left? Who will take over the Lyell? How will they deal with new situations? Will they cope? Will they survive? TW: Mentions of abuse in later chapters (I will put a TW on them).
Relationships: Nikki Alexander & Jack Hodgson, Nikki Alexander/Jack Hodgson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

It was a Monday morning, the start of a new week. It had been two months since Thomas sacrificed his life so they could save Jack and Clarissa had decided to take a new path in life. Both Nikki and Jack were thankful, in a way, for the Lyell being shut for a few weeks to be deep cleaned. It allowed them to take some time for themselves. Nikki spent the majority of it in America with Matt, making the most of her time with him while she had the chance. Jack, on the other hand spent his time at the gym, which was no surprise.

That first day back was probably the hardest, every time Nikki walked into the morgue, she could just see Thomas lying on the floor and she was reliving that awful day all over again. She decided that it might be good if she went to therapy again. She’d been going for a couple of weeks now and although the process was slow, she could feel the difference already. The Lyell Centre wasn’t as daunting anymore and she was starting to look at Thomas’ death in a positive way. He saved Jack.The one person who never let her down. The one person who she could rely on to cheer her up and make sure she’d eaten and was looking after herself properly.

Jack, on the other hand, found it slightly easier adjusting to the new setup of the Lyell. It was deafeningly quiet however, there was no Clarissa winding him up or making some sarcastic comment. There was no more sassy attitude towards detectives who deserved it. Of course Jack would happily take up that role. Not having Thomas looming around was another thing he would have to get used to; they may have had their differences but he couldn’t have asked for a better boss. And the fact that he was the reason he was still walking around solving crimes, Jack would be eternally grateful.

Nikki had spent the past two weeks interviewing possible new pathologists and overseeing interviews for potential people to run the Lyell. Once again, Nikki decided that she didn’t want to take over. It didn’t feel right, not to her anyway. She enjoyed what she did and she’d had too much change over the past few years, she wanted to be able to control something in some way and this was it.

Swiping his card, Jack opened the glass door to enter the Lyell Centre. Two coffees balancing in one hand, a bag of pastries in the other. Rounding the corner he found Nikki sitting at her desk typing up what he thought was probably some report, no surprise there. Chuckling to himself, he picked up one of the coffee’s and placed it in front of her along with the bag.

“One flat white and a croissant for m’lady,” he smiled but it very quickly dropped when he noticed that Nikki’s cheeks were damp from tears and her eyes were red and puffy. “Shit Nikki, what’s happened?”

Nikki bowed her head, looking down at her lap, letting the tears fall again. She felt his hand resting on her shoulder and his thumb slowly rubbing circles over her skin. She looked up at him, her eyes welling up again.

“Talk to me Niks,” Jack perched himself onto her desk. Reaching out with his other hand, he gently wiped the tears away from her cheeks. “You know you can talk to me about anything. Is it about Thomas, or Clarissa? I miss them like crazy too but you’ve got me. I may not dress as smart as Thomas or have the quickest remarks like Clarissa but I’m always here. No matter what.”

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, “It’s not Thomas or Clarissa,” her voice wobbled. Her throat felt tight and her mouth was dry. “I think,” she paused again, trying to find the right words to say and keep the tears at bay. “I think Matt and I have broken up.”

“You think? I’m sure you’d know if you have,” he sighed, probably not the best thing to say. “I’m not trying to upset you more but have either of you actually said that you’re ending things?” Nikki shook her head. “Right well, what’s happened for you to be thinking all of this?”

“I don’t know,” she started. “He hasn’t spoken to me for ages.”

“He could be busy,” he quipped, resulting in one of Nikki’s infamous death glares.

“And we’re just different. Something isn’t right. I can’t put my finger on it but,” she stopped, feeling the tightness in her throat increasing and the tears falling again.

“Right, I’ll tell you what you are going to do,” Jack picked up her coffee, placing it in her hand and taking one of the croissants, breaking it up into two before putting it back down in front of her. “You are going to eat because I know you well enough to know that you probably haven’t eaten anything since lunch yesterday.” Nikki rolled her eyes at that despite it being bang on. “Then you are going to talk to Matt and find out what is going on because whatever outcome is going to put your mind at ease and if you still feel as though you need to talk through things then me and you will go to the pub after work and you can rant to your heart's content, okay?”

Nikki nodded, “Thank you Jack, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Smiling, Jack stood up, “I don’t even want to imagine.” Bending down, he planted a kiss on the top of her head before walking around to his desk and sitting down again. “So, any news on potential colleagues?”

Drying her eyes with a tissue from her desk, “No, nobody on the cards.”

“I still can’t understand why you won’t apply for it, you’d make the perfect boss,” Jack winked.

“That for my benefit or yours?” She grinned, watching Jack shrug before turning his computer on and getting some paperwork out of his draw. “Besides, I’ve already told you that I enjoy this side of the job too much and I don’t want to end up resenting it because it’s become too political. I don’t want it to take me away from the things I really love.”

“Which would be?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow at her.

Nikki opened her mouth to speak but was quickly interrupted by the loud shrill of the telephone ringing on her desk. Picking it up, she answered the caller on the other side.

* * *

Lifting the tape over them, Jack and Nikki made it through over to the crime scene. Sighing, they both took in their surroundings, mentally making notes of anything that looked odd or out of place. Anything that would give them clues as to how the man lying in front of them died. Interrupting their first inspections was DCI Sally Butcher, a face not unfamiliar to them.

“Ah,” she spoke, holding her hand out to shake Nikki’s before moving to shake Jack’s as well. “Jack, Nikki. I wish it was under better circumstances but it’s nice to see you again,” turning, she walked closer to the body. “All we know about this man was that he was found floating along the River Lea by a member of the public. There is no ID on the body so if you could find anything that may help us I’d be grateful.”

Nikki squatted down next to the man, letting her eyes slowly travel up and down the body, once again mentally noting anything that initially stood out to her as a possible reason why he’s lying dead in front of her. She stopped at the rather stark injury on his forehead, pointing at the mark, she spoke, “This looks like a blow to the head, may be the cause of death.”

“Can you be sure?” DCI Butcher asked.

“Well considering that lividity has set in it would suggest that he has been dead at least ten to twelve hours, plus you said he was floating so it’s unlikely that he drowned. I won’t be able to confirm anything till the post mortem but upon initial assessment I would say that, yes, likely cause of death is blunt force trauma to the head.”

“So he wasn’t killed here I take it?” Sally questioned.

“I’d be very surprised if he was,” Jack interrupted, walking over to join them. “There is very little evidence to suggest it. However I did notice some blood on the railings which I have taken samples of to be tested, we’ll see if matches the victims. I also found some slight drag marks but nothing that could be conclusive I’m afraid. Plus, it doesn’t help that there’s no CCTV around this area, which would explain why the killer chose this place.”

“Youngish man, no ID and barely any evidence to explain how he got here. Where do I even start?”

“Well,” Nikki started. “Let’s get him back to the Lyell and start the post mortem, see if that can paint a clearer picture.”

* * *

Nikki steadied herself on her locker door as she tried to focus on what her doctor kept telling her, breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. In the through the nose and out through the mouth. In through the nose and out through the mouth. She could feel herself calming down and her heart rate slowing. Walking over to the sink, she washed her hands in the warm flow of water. Making sure to take her time. There was no need to rush. As her doctor said, take things at your own pace and do it when you are ready.

She heard the heavy footsteps on the lino floor interrupt her thoughts. She couldn’t stop the smile that was quickly spreading across her face.

“Checking up on me now?” She asked, not bothering to turn around, she didn’t need to, she knew exactly who it was.

“I just wanted to see if you were okay,” the Irish accent replied. “I don’t even want to begin to imagine how hard this must be for you right now.”

Turning the running water off with her elbow, she pulled some paper towels from the dispenser to dry her hands. She then picked up some latex gloves and carefully put them on before spinning on her heel to face Jack who was now sitting down on the bench.

“I’m coping,” Nikki let out eventually.

Standing up, Jack edged closer to her, almost towering over her, “That isn’t what I asked, but I’ll take it,” he paused, drinking in her features. Even with her now brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and in the most unflattering white scrubs he still thought she was the most beautiful woman on the planet. He would never forgive himself for not taking the opportunity to take her out when he could and now she was with Matt and she seemed happy. That was until this morning and Jack would never admit it, but he couldn’t deny the slight surge of relief when she said that her and Matt may have split up. He’d never want to purposely split them up or get in between them, he wasn’t that type of guy. If she’s happy then that’s all that matters but he would love to get another chance with Nikki. Shaking the thoughts from his head he continued. “I know I keep going on about it but I’m always here for you and if it gets too much in there take a break, I’ll come and sit with you until you feel ready to carry on, yeah?”

Nikki nodded, too scared to speak for the lump forming in her throat. Jack really could be heartfelt sometimes. It still shocked her that someone like him, with his cage fighting and his drive, could have such a heart of gold. Clearing her throat she spoke, “Thank you Jack, I mean it. I’d give you a hug but I really don’t fancy washing my hands again,” she chuckled at the mock offence look on Jack’s face.

“Fine,” he backed off, holding his hands up in the air. “I see how it is,” he stopped, taking the time to admire the smile on her face caused by him. He loved that he could make her happy, if only she could see it too. “I’ll just have to settle for this,” he stepped forward and placed his hands on either side of her face and left a sloppy kiss on her forehead.

“Argh Jack,” she laughed pushing him away with the back of her hand. “Go away and get back to work,” she turned away from him quickly and walked towards the morgue.

“That’s something my boss would say,” he called out to her as he too walked away, trying to ignore the increased beat of his heart.

She could feel the blush rising up her neck. Biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling, she took a minute to calm herself before turning back to professional Nikki who had a job to do, find out what and hopefully who killed this man.

Rounding the corner, she walked into the lab to see the man lying on the slab fully prepped ready for assessment. Glancing up to the observation room she spotted DCI Butcher and Jack who was leaning on the railing. She tried to focus her attention back to the body but couldn’t help but steal a look at Jack’s biceps. Really? Why did he have to stand like that? She thought to herself. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she continued, she’d just have to pretend that Jack wasn’t there.

Walking over to the table she began, “Victim is male, I’d say aged between thirty-five to forty. No ID on the body but we may be able to lift something from dental records. My initial assessment placed his death between ten to twelve hours ago as lividity has set in. It would also suggest that he was dead a while before being put in the water, certainly in a lying position. There is a significant wound to the forehead also, it appears to be angled which I’d wager as possibly being the result of something rectangular, maybe a picture frame, striking the head. There’s also some other bruising to the face which would suggest he may have been in a fight some time before his death. Finally there’s a small cross tattoo on his left wrist which may help with identity.”

* * *

“Right, I’ll get the drinks and you can find us a table. What do you want?” Jack asked, leaning on the bar.

“I will have a white wine please,” she replied, scanning the room for a spare table. Eventually finding one she headed straight for it, removing her bag and coat, placing them on the back of the chair. It wasn’t long till Jack joined her with a beer in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. Placing them down on the table, he walked round and sat in the chair next to her.

“You know,” he started, taking a sip of his beer leaving a white moustache on his top lip. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it being just the two of us.”

Facing him she grinned, “Uh Jack you’ve got,” she went to point at her lip but decided instead to reach out and run her thumb along his top lip, removing the trail of foam. Her eyes locked with his. The intensity of his stare caused her to blush for the second time that day. She cursed herself internally, hoping that he wouldn’t notice and she could blame her rise in temperature on the roaring fire not far from where they were sitting. Closing her eyes, breaking the ever growing tension she carried on their conversation. “No, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it either.”

Nodding, Jack took another sip of his beer, making sure not to leave anything behind. He couldn’t have a repeat of what just happened because he wasn’t sure that he’d be able to control his actions if they carried on like that. “Anyway,” he continued, trying to keep away from his thoughts. “We came here to talk about you and Matt.”

“Hmm,” Jack didn’t fail to notice the drop in Nikki’s face at the mention of his name. “I haven’t had the chance to speak to him yet but I’ll try to tonight,” he watched as she started tracing the condensation droplets on her glass. “I don’t know what to do Jack.”

“Maybe a stupid question but how would you feel if you were to break up?” He asked.

She sighed, not taking her eyes off the glass as she spoke, “Is it bad that I don’t know? In many ways of course I would be devastated and sad, we’ve been together for quite a while now but on the other hand, I would feel kind of relieved.”

Jack raised his eyebrows, he wasn’t expecting that, “Relieved? How so?”

“I’m not sure but when I think about it, I used to say it but I don’t think I ever meant it. I think what I’m trying to say is that I don’t love him, or at least not in that way, maybe? I don’t know,” she took a sip from her glass as Jack chuckled. “What?”

“You” he exclaimed. “You’re doing it again. Ruining relationships because of your inherent fear of commitment. I like Matt, I do. And that really is saying something. You know my opinion of your past encounters. But he’s kind and treats you as you deserve to be treated. Talk to him, he makes you happy and trust me, you don’t want to let that go.”

“But you make me happy Jack and you’re kind and treat me as I deserve to be treated,” had the wine really gone to her head that quickly?

“Either you started drinking before me or I’m on some sort of drug because you just complimented me,” Jack smiled.

“You know what I mean.”

“I don’t think I do, so please continue,” he said, leaning back in his chair.

“I mean, I get things from Matt as I get from you. Minus some things, obviously. But if I don’t love him what’s the point in staying with him just because he makes me happy. I’ve got you for that, I don’t need him.”


	2. Chapter 2

A new day, full of new opportunities and difficulties to face. A new day that will hopefully bring new possibilities. It had been a rough night for Nikki, after finally building up the courage to talk to Matt, she parted ways with Jack at the pub and made her way home only to find that Matt had already beaten her to it. She walked through to her kitchen to find him sitting at her table, his face seemed to mirror hers, they both knew what was coming next. There was no screaming, no arguing, maybe a few tears but in all in all it was mutual and amicable. They agreed that they had simply grown apart and maybe neither of them were cut out for long distance. Nikki felt more at ease knowing that both she and Matt could go their separate ways and still remain friends and in contact with each other, she loved him dearly but as she said to Jack, not in that way.

Walking into the Lyell, Nikki was surprised to see Jack sitting at her desk. She didn’t know what she was more shocked by, Jack being at work earlier than her or the fact that he wasn’t sitting in his own chair, she’d known from experience that his was way more comfortable than hers and he wasn’t that keen on giving it up. He must have been engrossed in whatever was laid out in front of him because he hadn’t noticed her standing there watching him. Or, maybe he had but was concentrating too much to look up.

Letting out a cough, she chuckled as she noticed him jumping out of his skin and his darting up to meet hers; he definitely hadn’t seen her come in. “I don’t want to point out the obvious but I think that’s my chair you’re sitting on.”

“Oh sorry,” he stuttered, quickly gathering up the pieces of papers and placing them carefully back into the folder. “I was just reading over the post mortem report again. I wanted to see if there was anything that stood out.”

Nikki moved to put her bag down on the desk and then picking up the folder to open for herself to read, “You could’ve just asked.”

“You weren’t here,” he quipped.

“Clearly. Did you find anything untoward?”

Jack shook his head, “The dental records have come back however. The guy’s name is Simon Richards, he has a wife who the police are trying to get hold of as we speak.”

“Right,” pausing, Nikki looked down at him, raising her eyebrows. “And are you going to sit there all day?”

“Oh right, yeah, sorry,” he apologised, standing up and walking round their adjoining desks to sit in his own chair. “Did you manage to get hold of him?”

She didn’t even need to ask him who he was talking about, glancing up at him, she sat down in her seat, “Yes,” she said bluntly.  
“And?”

“We broke up.”

“How do you feel about that? And tell me how you’re really feeling not some bullshit like ‘I’m fine,’ it’s me you’re talking to remember,” he spoke, now raising his own eyebrow at her whilst leaning forward on his desk to get closer to her.

Rolling her eyes, “Surprisingly okay,” she stopped, knowing that he wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer, she continued, “After how I felt yesterday I expected myself to be more upset but we talked for the whole night and it was all pretty amicable, we’re still going to be friends and keep in contact with each other of course, but I’m okay. Besides, having that chat with you last night as well helped a lot. It made me put things into perspective, made me realise what I and what I don’t want.”

Nodding, he was pleased with that answer but, if he was being honest, he was happy with anything longer than two words, “Good. Glad I could help,” he finished, not wanting to push her. Nikki opening up in little bursts was enough for him, it meant that she had at least someone she could trust and talk about anything with and not have to face judgement.

They both let the room fill with a comfortable silence, both content with their first conversation of the day. Logging on to her computer, Nikki began to check her emails, her heart dropping as her eyes flicked over the latest. So it was definitely happening, and today? She hadn’t even had the chance to tell Jack yet and she’d no idea how he would react but knowing him he’d kick off whether she told him now or let him find out when they arrive, might as well keep up the element of surprise. He’d eventually calm down, he always struggled to stay angry with her anyway.

His voice shook her from her thoughts, “Does this case strike you as odd somehow?” He asked, looking up at her from the paperwork now on his desk.

“What do you mean?”

“The wife never reported him missing.”

“So,” she shrugged. “Maybe they argued and she thought he’d come home eventually.”

“But if we argued and you didn’t turn up for work the next day I’d do everything to get hold of you or find you and if I couldn’t I’d be on the phone straight away. Especially if I’d seen that there had been a body found in the area. But nobody has contacted us or the police reporting someone missing that matches the description of our man,” he paused. “If you were planning on not coming home, then wouldn’t you make sure to take your phone and wallet? If not both, at least one.”

“Maybe he didn’t plan to not come home?” She questioned. “Not everyone knows their next move when they storm out after an argument. Besides, we don’t know what happened between them so let’s reserve our judgement.”

“You were the one who said they argued,” he pointed out.

“I simply provided a possible explanation amongst many others,” she calmly replied, she would never let Jack get one over her.

“Smart arse.”

They both chuckled before turning back to their computers allowing the quiet to wash over them again.

* * *

“After speaking to the wife, Angela Richards, we can confirm that this is Simon Richards, male, thirty-three. She last saw him around seven o’clock on the night he died. According to her, they had an argument after he’d come home from the pub,” Butcher spoke as Nikki stole a quick glance at Jack, he always acted like he hated when she turned out to be right but deep down he adored her intuitive skills and her ability to be a ‘genius’ as Clarissa had so aptly put it all those years ago. “The cause of their argument was apparently the result of a fight that happened between him and another man outside the Weatherly Arms, not too far away where we found the body. Jack, will you be able to pull up any CCTV from those areas? See if we can get a description of this man and his whereabouts after the fight.”

“Sure,” Jack nodded.

“Nikki, you said that there was evidence on the body that would suggest that he may have been in a fight prior to his death which would tie with what Mrs Richards is saying,” she said as she turned to look at Nikki.

“Well,” Nikki started, standing up to walk over to the board. Pulling up the pictures of the victims face from the post mortem and continuing, “There was bruising to his face and knuckles which are of consistent with a fight. However, his cause of death was caused, as already established, by a sharp cornered object striking his head. If it was a fight outside a pub, you may suggest a brick found on the floor but we would expect to find residue in the wound. But we found paint flecks, confirmed in the test results. So, it is more likely that he was hit over the head with something like a picture frame, which was my earlier suggestion.”

“We need to get that CCTV footage as soon as possible and find out what on earth happened to this man,” Butcher sighed, leaning on to the table. “We need to get fingerprints and DNA from the wife, for elimination purposes. And we’ll need to organise for her to come and formally identify him.”

“Consider it done,” Nikki smiled. She watched as DCI Butcher left the room, leaving just her and Jack again.

“She doesn’t want much does she?” Jack joked, winking at her.

* * *

The drive to the house wasn’t as long as they expected, Nikki tried to ignore Jack as much as possible as he spent the entire time singing and dancing to the songs on the radio. She found this the most difficult when they had stopped at a red light and she had no excuse to not look at him, especially when she could feel his eyes boring into her. Thankfully they didn’t stop for too long and they carried on their journey. Parking up outside her house they walked down her driveway.

“You love my singing really so you can stop making that face,” he laughed, bumping gently into her side.

Nikki rolled her eyes, pushing him back, “Not when I’m concentrating on trying not to crash.”

Reaching out, Jack knocked heavily on the door. After a few seconds a young woman with long brown hair appeared from behind it. She must’ve been in her late twenties was the best Nikki could guess.

“Hello Mrs Richards,” Nikki smiled, pulling out her badge to show the woman stood in front of her. “My name is Dr Alexander and this is my colleague Jack Hodgson, we’re with the police and we just need to take some fingerprints and DNA to eliminate you, is it okay if we come in?”

Angela nodded, opening the door further, allowing Nikki and Jack to make their way through. Setting her case down on the kitchen counter, Nikki began taking the woman’s swabs and fingerprints whilst Jack took it upon himself to poke around the house. Walking through to the living room, the first thing he noticed was the lack of pictures of the supposed couple, Jack shrugged. Maybe it was her way of grieving but something didn’t feel right about it. Making his way into the hallway, once again no pictures, his eyes scanned the area from floor to ceiling. He quickly noticed an open door further down the hall, moving towards it he noticed that it led down to a basement. All of sudden Jack felt a shiver travel from top to bottom down his spine, something wasn’t right. Feeling unsafe, he joined Nikki in the kitchen once again, who seemed to have finished and was now packing her case back up.

Nikki spoke, breaking the silence, “Thank you so much for your help, I’m really sorry for your loss. I know this may seem too soon but we are going to need you to formally identify the body, when you’re ready of course,” she pulled a business card out of her case and handed it to the woman. “This is the address of the Lyell Centre and the number, just give us a call when you feel up to it and we can arrange a time, okay?”

Angela nodded, “Yes that’s fine, thank you,” she said bluntly. “I’d like you to leave now please.”

“Of course,” Nikki smiled gently, slightly taken aback by her attitude but understanding how she felt, she made quickly to leave with Jack following her, hot on her tail.

Waiting till they were safely back in the car, Jack turned to Nikki, “Did she seem? I don’t know. She didn’t strike me as someone grieving her husband.”

Starting the car, she quickly glanced over to Jack before turning her eyes back to the road and pulling off, “She’s probably just in shock, everyone reacts differently to these situations, you should know.”

“Yes I do but there was just something that was off,” he paused. “Did you notice that there weren’t any photos anywhere?”

“And?”

“Is that not strange to you? If they’re married then surely they should have at least one picture of them, on their wedding day.. But there’s nothing, not a single one. Now either they just didn’t take any pictures or-”

“-she’s got something to hide,” Nikki interrupted him, quickly following his train of thought.

Jack carried on, “I’ll have to ask Butcher to get a search warrant, I want to check out that basement as well. Something about it made me feel weird, like something’s happened down there.”

“You watch too many horror movies,” Nikki joked, trying to lighten the mood.

“I do not!” Jack snapped, a smirk emerging from the corner of his mouth.

* * *

They made it back to the Lyell shortly after leaving Mrs Richard’s house. Swiping his card in the machine, Jack went to open the door but his hand stopped on the handle as he looked inside.

Nikki frowned, “What?” Following his line of sight, she saw where it landed. There was a woman. A woman neither had seen before. A woman with short, blonde hair, possibly in her late fifties, early sixties. She wore a fairly fitted black suit with a light blue shirt underneath. They both watched as the woman walked around their desks, picking up a file every now and then to skim through it.

“Who the hell is that?” Jack spoke eventually.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter but I hope you enjoy :)

“That would be Professor Sam Ryan,” Nikki finally said after what felt like forever.

Jack snapped his head to face her the moment the words escaped her mouth. “And you know that how, exactly?” He watched as Nikki’s face contorted, obviously trying to find an excuse. “You knew?” He helped her out.

She turned to look at Sam through the glass, avoiding Jack’s eye contact, “I had an email from her this morning saying that she’d be coming in. She starts today.”

“You didn’t think to tell me?” He quipped, letting out a sigh. She really could be frustrating sometimes, he seems to get to a good place with her. A place where she seemingly trusts him and then she somehow forgets to involve him in something that is important, something that he has the right to know about, something like getting a new head of the Lyell Centre.

Flicking her eyes back up at him, she spoke, “It slipped my mind, sorry. We’ve been so busy with this case and the whole thing with Matt. It’s just not at the forefront of my mind.” She stopped when she felt him nudge her.

“Nikki,” he paused, looking down at her. “It’s fine, but you’re buying the next pizza.”

A feeling of relief washed over her as she rolled her eyes at him, “Okay but we better go introduce ourselves before she fires us for not being at work when we’re meant to.”

“After you,” Jack waved his arm out as his other held the door open, letting Nikki pass through.

“Ah you must be Dr. Nikki Alexander,” the woman spoke, marching over to Nikki holding her hand out.

Nikki gladly accepted her hand, giving it a firm shake before letting go, “And you Professor Sam Ryan, it’s so lovely to finally meet you. Harry and Leo spoke about you all the time.”

“All good things I hope,” Sam smiled before looking over Nikki’s shoulder, her eyes landing on Jack. Reaching her hand out, Jack took it in his. “That means you’re Jack Hodgson, head of forensic science.”

“Correct,” Jack spoke, dropping his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Is that an Irish accent I hear?” Sam asked, her eyes flitting between Jack and Nikki.

Jack nodded, “Belfast, you?”

Sam raised her eyebrows, “Belfast.”

“Can I make anyone a coffee?” Nikki interrupted, quick to pick up on the growing awkward tension in the room. “Or tea?”

“I’ll have a coffee please,” Jack let out an almost thankful breath, turning he walked over to his desk and placed his jacket on the back of his chair. Nikki gave Sam an expectant look.

“I’ll take tea, milk, one sugar, thank you,” she paused. “Once you’re all settled down, I want you both in my office so you can fill me in on the current case.” Sam spun on her heel, leaving the room and making her way to what was now her office.

Nikki let out a chuckle as she poured the hot water into three mugs in front of her, causing Jack to turn in his chair and face her.

“What are you laughing at?” He called out.

She glanced up at him, “You.”

“Me? What have I done?” Jack stood up, joining her on the other side of the room, perching himself on the small counter.

“You always make things awkward,” Nikki stirred the hot liquids in the mugs, not daring to look at Jack, it was dangerous territory. She could already feel her heart racing just that little bit faster and he was only sitting next to her.

“I do not,” he scoffed, folding his arms and leaning into her slightly, bringing their faces closer together; enticing her to make eye contact with him.

Nikki’s breath hitched as her eyes flicked up to meet Jack’s. She desperately tried to look away but that was the thing about Jack’s eyes, they sucked you in and no matter how hard you tried to tear yours away, it was impossible. Her heart beated faster and the blush creeped up her neck, she felt naked under his gaze; like he was staring deep into her soul and reading her innermost thoughts. In a way, she wished he could, maybe they would stop dancing around each other. On the other hand, she was glad he couldn’t, her inner thoughts are what scared her the most. He really knew how to untie someone with just one look. She almost breathed a sigh of relief when Jack dropped his head to look down at his feet, breaking the ever growing tension.

“Best take this to Sam,” Nikki spoke, the blush now reaching her cheeks, making her feel all hot and bothered. She picked up the mug and walked quickly to what was now Sam’s office. That was going to take some getting used to, she thought to herself. She tried to steady her breathing and calm herself down but that was proving difficult when she knew that Jack was watching her every move.

Jack stayed perched on the counter for a couple of minutes, admiring the way Nikki left the room, like he always had. He couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. He would never deny that one of his favourite past times was watching Nikki getting flustered when she didn’t know how to deal with a situation, resulting in her either leaving or acting on her feelings, that Jack knew she had, but whether or not she was ready to admit those feelings was another question. He forever wished it was going to be sooner rather later, as he wasn’t sure how much longer he could deal with seeing Nikki everyday and not being able to hug her and kiss her and share things with her that he wouldn’t share with anyone else. Sure, he already had two out of those three things but he wanted to be the one to make her smile everyday, the one who gets to see her first thing in the morning, the one she goes to when she’s upset and the one who’s first on her mind. He really couldn’t make it anymore obvious that he was well and truly in love with her. He may have been drugged up to high heaven in that hospital a couple of months ago but he knew what he was saying when he told her that he loved her. It may have been the last chance he had to say it and he wanted to tell two of the most important people in his world how much they really meant to him.

Pulling himself from his thoughts, he stood up and joined Nikki in Sam’s office, sitting down in the chair next to her. He couldn’t stop himself from stealing a quick glance at her before going back to work mode and looking at Sam who started the conversation.

“So, this case you’re working on,” Sam began. “From the brief that I’ve read, what I can gather is that it is on the confusing side, so if you wouldn’t mind explaining.” She looked directly at Nikki, prompting her to be the one to outline the case.

“Well, we found a man, aged thirty-three, later identified as Simon Richards. He was pulled out of the River Lea sometime in the morning, I placed his death to be between ten and twelve hours prior to the find,” she paused, gathering her thoughts. “Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. There was a wound on his forehead, with paint flecks embedded into the skin. My best guess was that this was caused by a picture frame of some kind.”

“We’ve just been to see the wife,” Jack interrupted. “I had a quick, unofficial look around the house and there were a few things that struck me as odd. There were no pictures around the house. Not a single one. She also didn’t strike me as someone who’s just suddenly lost their husband, plus the fact she never actually reported him missing because they allegedly had an argument. I was going to get into contact with DCI Butcher and see if we can get a warrant to search the house. She had a basement and I don’t know about Nikki, but it made me uncomfortable.”

Sam nodded, digesting all the information, “Well leave it to me to contact DCI Butcher about getting a warrant, it’ll give me the chance to speak to her as well,” she smiled. “You know, when they offered me this job a couple of weeks ago I never thought I’d actually be back in this place again but I’ve not even been here an hour and it’s like I’ve never been away. I look forward to working with you both.”

“And you,” Nikki tried her best to keep professional as she could see Jack staring at her in the corner of her eye, he wasn’t going to be happy about this. Standing up she turned and made her way to her desk, Jack hot on her tail.

“A couple of weeks ago,” he was angry, she could tell by the strength of his accent.

“Jack,” she started.

“No,” he butted in. Reaching out and grabbing her arm, turning her around to face him. “You lied to me, why?”

“I didn’t lie,” she replied quickly, pulling her arm out of his grip. “I just didn’t tell you.”

“So, when I asked you the other day if there was anyone in the running, you saying no was, what?” He pulled a face, trying to keep his voice hushed so as not to raise attention to them. “Telling the truth?” He added when she didn’t say anything.

“Well, no, but,” she stuttered, she really had dug herself a hole.

“You’re unbelievable sometimes, you know that?” He huffed, brushing past her and heading towards the exit of the Lyell.

She followed him, “Jack stop,” she called. “Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?” He threw over his shoulder as he stormed down the corridor.

Nikki tilted her head back, looking up at the ceiling and let out a sigh. If she didn’t know Jack she probably would’ve rushed after him and tried to explain her side of things but she knew he needed the time to calm down and burn off some steam. She’d learnt from the past that having a full blown argument with Jack wasn’t the best idea. Once he had his teeth into something, it was hard to try and persuade him otherwise. The only way to get through to him was to let him settle and then talk to him, he was more understanding when there was less testosterone pumping through his body. Pulling herself together, Nikki went back to her desk; pulling out the case file, she continued to write up her report ready for the Coroner, in an attempt to try and distract herself from Jack’s temper.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy this next chapter :)

It had been an hour since Jack had stormed out, leaving Nikki overthinking about her actions whilst trying her best to concentrate on the task in hand. She knew he wouldn’t be angry with her for very long but the time in-between their arguments was excruciatingly difficult. She had spent the hour debating whether or not she should’ve followed him and had it out with him there and then. But she understood Jack, in a way that most people didn’t, and she knew that it would’ve been pointless, they would end up in a worse place than they started. So, she settled on staying at her desk and hoping that he would eventually come back to her and they could talk through everything properly.

Intruding her thoughts, Sam wandered out of her office and made her way over to Nikki. Placing her hands in her pocket, she spoke, “I finally got hold of DCI Butcher and she’s managed to sort out that warrant if you and Jack want to go and check it out?” She stopped, taking the time to look around her and realise that the latter didn’t seem to be anywhere. “Speaking of Jack, where is he?”

“Uh, I,” Nikki stuttered, trying to come up with an excuse that wouldn’t land Jack into trouble. “I think he’s gone to double check on some tests for the forensics, make sure nothing was contaminated.”

“I heard you arguing earlier,” Sam gave Nikki a warm smile. “Everything alright?”

Nikki nodded, “Yes, everything’s fine. Jack can get a bit hot headed sometimes but I usually give him some space and things tend to go back to normal,” she started clearing up the paperwork on her desk.

“Have you been together long?” Sam asked.

Nikki snapped her head up at that, “Oh, no. Me and Jack aren’t-”

“Oh gosh sorry,” Sam interrupted. “Sorry, I just assumed that you were together. You seemed very close. Sorry.”

Nikki gave a reassuring smile, “Don’t worry about it, you’re not the first,” she paused, taking a deep breath. Standing up, she pulled her bag and coat off the back of the chair before putting her coat on. “Me and Jack, we’ve been through a lot together. For the most part, it’s been amazing but there have been times where we’ve nearly lost each other and that’s been hard. But it’s brought us closer together and now I don’t think I can imagine my life without him,” Nikki stopped, feeling herself welling up.

Sam nodded slowly, digesting all the information, “I know I haven’t been here very long, not even a whole morning yet,” she chuckled. “But if there is anything, and I mean anything, that you ever want to talk to me about, I am more than happy to provide a shoulder.” She stood up, “Go find Jack, make up with him and if that’s how you really feel about him then maybe there are other things you two need to talk about.”  
Nikki’s eyes widened, taken aback by Sam’s almost abruptness to someone she’s only known for the best part of an hour, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Sam replied, walking back towards her office. “Besides, all that tension in a workplace isn’t always healthy.” She let out before disappearing behind the door.

Nikki was well and truly stumbled, she had no words. Someone had just walked into her life and read her like a book straight away and quite frankly, she wasn’t sure how to deal with it. Sure, Sam had a point about her and Jack, whatever was going on between them had to be sorted but she only broke up with Matt last night. It was too soon to be jumping into another relationship. Besides, she didn’t even know if Jack felt that way towards her. She may know Jack better than most people but at times, it was very hard to judge what was going on in his head. And surely, if he felt like that about her then why did he encourage her to make a go of things with Matt? He liked her as a friend, pure and simple, Sam was wrong. She can’t just walk into people’s lives and act like she knows everything about them. No, she was wrong.

Shaking the thoughts from her head, she pulled her bag over her shoulder and made her way to the locker room where she was not surprised to find Jack throwing powerful punches into the bag hanging from the ceiling. She tried her best to control her breathing as she watched the droplets of sweat roll down his face. As much as she hated the thought of him cage fighting, she couldn’t deny that in some twisted way she enjoyed watching him. Maybe it was the thrill of it or maybe it was the fact that she un-admittedly often imagined him pushing her up against the wall and having his wicked way with her. Quickly pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, she let out a small cough, interrupting his flow.

“What are you doing here Nikki?” He let out, his voice deep and exasperated, maybe punching the life out of the bag hadn’t completely calmed him down.

“Well, I hate to remind you but we are still at work and we have a job to do,” she said through gritted teeth, she wouldn’t let Jack get the better of her. “Sam got hold of Butcher, she managed to get a warrant and she would like us to check the place out.”

Jack finally stopped his fists colliding with the bag, when Nikki realised he’d hadn’t wrapped his hands and she could see the sheen of fresh blood covering his knuckles. Panic mode set in and she was by his side in a matter of seconds. Picking up his left hand in both of hers, she ran her thumb gently over his knuckles, covering her thumb in the scarlet liquid.

“What have you done?” She spoke softly, instantly forgetting their argument, it wasn’t important now. She looked up at him but he turned his face from her. Dropping his hand, she walked over to the first aid box hanging up on the wall and pulled out some antiseptic wipes and gauze. “Sit down. You can’t go to a crime scene looking like this,” she tried to joke, an attempt to lighten the mood but Jack’s sullen face didn’t change and he simply sat down on the bench, not breathing a word.

Picking up his left hand, she carefully dabbed at the small wounds on his knuckles before wiping away the blood. She didn’t miss how his hand squeezed hers and his jaws clenched. She knew how much this probably stung but Jack being his typical self didn’t want to show that he was in pain, he is the man, he isn’t allowed to struggle. It was one of the things that infuriated her, he often acted like he was too proud to have difficulties. After Mexico, he didn’t allow himself to grieve and suffer, he always had to be the strong one. She wanted to shake him so hard sometimes and make him realise that it is okay to be upset and show your emotions. You don’t have to hide it and bottle it all up to the point where you end up exploding.

She finished cleaning up the wounds on both hands and after putting the bloody wipes in the bin, she set about wrapping his hands in the gauze. He hissed as she pulled the material over his hand. “Sorry,” she whispered quietly, she was surprised that he even heard it. But he looked up, his eyes locking with hers, her breath hitched. Breaking the contact, she looked down and continued to wrap his hands. She felt her palms becoming clammy as she finished wrapping his right hand, cutting the fabric she tucked the end of it in.

“All done,” she let out, she turned to put the scissors and the remainder of the gauze back in the box when she felt his hand grab hers pulling her back to him. Jack picked the scissors and gauze from her and put them down on the bench behind him. “Jack,” fell from her mouth as she reached out a place a hand on his cheek, her thumb making soft circles. She felt as his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her against him. She, in turn, wrapped her arms around his neck. Leaning down she placed a kiss on the top of his head. A smile crept up on her face as she felt him hold on to her tighter.

They stayed like that for a few moments, simply enjoying each other’s company. If this was how all of their arguments were going to end, Nikki wasn’t completely opposed to the idea. Reluctantly, Nikki loosened her grip on Jack and leaned back, not increasing the distance between them. Bringing her hands up, she placed them on either side of Jack’s face.

“Shall we go?”

* * *

As they arrived at the house for the second time that day, they watched as Butcher led Angela Richards into the back of her car, giving them a nod of approval before getting in and driving off. Parking up, both Jack and Nikki got out and headed towards the front of the house. Thankfully their making up allowed for a somewhat tension free drive but they had yet to actually speak to each other.

Jack carried both of their cases as Nikki opened the door and let themselves in. Setting their cases down, Jack pulled out a pair of gloves each for them and began the tour around the house. Collecting samples and taking pictures of anything that seemed untoward and out of the ordinary. As Nikki opened one of the cupboards in the kitchen, she felt the wind being knocked out of her as she spotted a pile of picture frames.

“Jack,” she called out, her voice laced with worry. Jack was at her side almost instantly.

“Shit,” was all he could manage. Taking a picture on his phone, he forwarded the image to Butcher. “Are any of them damaged?”  
“I don’t know,” Nikki replied, carefully removing each frame and placing them down on the floor. She stopped as she pulled the last one out, “Bingo.” She looked up at Jack who’s face dropped.

“I knew there was something off about her,” he breathed, taking another picture on his phone to send to Butcher. He moved to grab some evidence bags, handing them to Nikki as she set about placing the frames inside them. “We better check out the rest of the house, see where she kept the body.”

Nikki glanced up at him, “By house do you mean the basement?”

He sighed, “It is plausible, you can’t deny that.” Nikki shook her head, standing up and following him as he made his way towards the door in the hallway, picking up one of the cases on the way. Flicking the switch on his left, the stairway down to the basement lit up. They were steep. It was cold. Whatever happened down here, it didn’t sit well with Jack. He held his hand out, helping Nikki to get down the stairs, jumping as the door behind them slammed shut.

“Jack,” she whispered gripping his hand tighter, the goosebumps becoming more prominent on her skin as they slowly made their way down.

“It’s fine, I’m here,” he spoke, trying to be as soothing as possible, picking up on her apparent anxiety. When they finally reached the bottom, Jack took a deep breath. “You smell that?”

“Bleach,” Nikki replied, she had yet to let go of his hand.

“Doesn’t bode well does it?” He sighed, walking around the perimeter of the basement, alarm bells ringing. He grabbed his case off Nikki, opening it up and picking up his UV light. Thankfully, the basement wasn’t too lit up that they had to turn the light off to shroud them in darkness. Jack knew that one of Nikki’s triggers was the dark, once they had made up she often rang him up in the middle of the night, scared. He would be at her house in a flash, ready to comfort her. They’d often put a film on and she’d fall asleep on the sofa. Jack would put her to bed and he’d camp out in the spare room, far away enough to give her some space but close enough that if she needed him he could be there straight away. Those phone calls soon stopped when she got with Matt, he often wondered if those nightmares still happened or if she had learned to cope with it. He looked over at her, watching the expressions on her face, she appeared to be fine. But that was the deceiving thing about Nikki Alexander, she was okay on the surface but on the inside she was barely holding it together. Reaching out, he gently squeezed her arm.

“You okay?” He asked to which she simply nodded, which meant she wasn’t okay but she was trying her best.

Jack turned, switching the UV light on, the quicker they collected this evidence the quicker they could get out of here. “Nikki,” he called out as he shined the light on the floor to reveal evidence of blood that had been tried to be washed away with the bleach. Nikki pulled out her phone and took pictures.

“He was most certainly killed here,” Nikki spoke, pointing her finger down at the floor. “Would you say that they were drag marks?”

Jack nodded. Nikki took another picture. “I think we’ve got enough to convict her, what do you think?”

“Yes,” she replied. “Definitely. We should get more forensics in though, to do a proper sweep of the area.”

“Right let’s go,” Jack jumped up, placing the UV light back into his case before closing and heading towards the stairs. As he reached the top, he tried the handle but the door wouldn’t open. Turning to the side he pushed his shoulder into it in an attempt to budge it open but nothing. “Shit.”

“Please don’t tell me we’re stuck in here,” Nikki sighed closing her eyes, she could feel the panic rising up inside her already.

“We might be,” he breathed. “And I can’t kick the door open either because this is now a crime scene and I don’t fancy contaminating it. We’re just going to have to ring Butcher or someone else.” Jack pulled out his phone from his pocket, his heart dropping as he watched the bars drop, “No signal.”

“Great,” Nikki could feel her chest tightening. Shaking, she pressed her phone noticing that she too had no signal.

“Let’s try not to panic,” Jack said as he made his way back down the stairs.

“Not the best advice right now Jack,” Nikki retorted, following Jack. As they reached the bottom of the stairs she tried to focus on her breathing. Repeating her doctors mantra in her head, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Feeling herself calm down, she pulled her phone out again, breathing a sigh of relief as one bar flickered. Scrolling through her contacts she reached Sam, clicking onto it the dialling tone began.

“Sam, hi,” she couldn’t be happier that she’d answered but she was quick to notice how Jack snapped up to her at the mention of Sam. “Jack and I are stuck in the basement and there’s no one else here,” she paused, listening to the woman on the other side of the phone. “Thank you so much Sam, I’ll send you the address now.” Hanging up Nikki quickly tapped out the address before hitting send.

“You have her number?” Jack scoffed.

Nikki rolled her eyes, “Can we not do this again please Jack? I’ve told you I’m sorry. I didn’t lie to you, I didn’t know she accepted the job until this morning.”

“You could’ve mentioned it though,” Jack sat down on the bottom step, resting his elbows on his thighs. “I have a right to know.”

“I’m sorry,” she bent down so that she was eye level with him. “Okay?”

Jack breathed, not saying anything causing Nikki to huff. Standing up again she walked over to the other side of the room. He really could be infuriating sometimes. How many times did she have to say sorry until he accepted it. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence, Jack spoke.

“I meant what I said, you know?” His heart was racing, the middle of a crime scene probably wasn’t the best place to confess your love to the woman of your dreams but right now Jack couldn’t see a better opportunity. Besides, she deserved to know the reason for his outburst. Because that was the reason, he loved her and there was nothing that he could do about it and instead of dealing with it, instead he chose to beat up his emotions and frustrations in the form of a punch bag.

“I know, you totally deserve the right to know, you do work at the Lyell as well and I shouldn’t be the one to dictate what you can and can’t know,” Nikki started before being quickly cut off by Jack.

Standing up, Jack closed the gap between them, “That’s not what I’m on about.”

“Then what are you talking about?” Nikki felt her stomach drop. Those eyes had connected with hers. Those eyes that made her melt. Those eyes that said a thousand words. She had a feeling she knew where this conversation was going and she’d be lying if she said that the thought didn’t absolutely terrify yet excite her.

“You don’t get it do you?” Jack exhaled, backing off slightly and running his hands through his hair. “Nikki I-”

He quickly stopped in his tracks as a banging came from the door at the top of the stairs and their names consequently being called. Nikki was the first to rush up the stairs, calling back to Sam who was quick to open the door, letting them out.

“Thank god for that,” a smile of relief washed over Nikki’s face. “I thought we were going to be stuck in there all day.”

“Did you find anything?” Sam asked.

“Loads,” Jack replied, his face not quite mirroring Nikki’s.

“Good, well let’s get back to the Lyell so we can process it all and hopefully shut this case,” Sam spoke, turning on her heel and heading towards the front door. Stopping, she looked back at the pair of them, “I hope everything’s sorted between the two of you now.”

They both nodded although their faces didn’t convincingly display that they had ‘sorted it.’ Quickly packing up their evidence bags and cases both Jack and Nikki head back to the car, Nikki turned to face Jack as he settled in to the drivers side.

“What did you want to tell me back there?” She asked, eager to find out.

“Doesn’t matter,” he shook his head, putting the keys into ignition. “Moment’s gone.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Minor mentions of abuse but it doesn’t really go into detail.

DCI Butcher had spent the next couple of hours questioning Angela whilst Nikki and Jack gathered all the evidence they needed to be able to convict her. As they were getting in the final results from their various, Sam received a phone call from Butcher explaining that she had confessed to the murder of her husband. Joining Niki and Jack who were sitting at their desks, she updated them.

“She’s been arrested,” she began, startling both of them. Nikki looked up from her computer screen. “She’s confessed to it all. Apparently she’s been abusing him for years, for the most part mentally, the first time she got physical she ended up killing him.”

“And she confessed to all of that?” Nikki asked, quite surprised.

“Not exactly,” Sam paused, leaning on the doorframe. “A friend of his, his secretary at work I think Butcher said. She arrived at the station whilst they were questioning her, she wanted to tell the police that she believed that Angela had been abusive towards her husband and that she had been for a long time. I’m not one hundred percent sure but I think Simon may have reached out to her for help a few times, when she heard that he’d been killed she thought that she should say something. Anyway,” she sighed. “Make sure you’ve collected all the necessary evidence, something tells me that this woman will end up changing her plea when it goes to court.”

“Of course,” Jack let out. “We’re just getting the last of everything now.”

“Good,” Sam added. “I was thinking. Since it’s my first day and I don’t know either of you very well, we could do some team building?”

Jack’s head shot up at that, “Please don’t tell me you’ve organised some random activity where we have to work as a team to get the answer.”

“No,” Sam was quick to reply. “We do that here anyway. No I was thinking that I could make us some food, give us a chance to get to know each other a bit better. Say, mine at seven?”

Nikki glanced over at Jack, trying to read his expressions. From what she could gather, he didn’t appear to be totally put off by the idea. Besides, they could probably do with some normality after the past couple of months they’ve had, “Sure,” Nikki spoke, a reassuring smile on her face. “We’ll both be there.”

* * *

“Explain to me again why we agreed to this?” Jack called out to Nikki as he stood in the hallway of her house, waiting for her to finish getting ready.

“Because,” Nikki started replying as she walked out to join him, fixing an earring. “It would be nice for us all to get together and get to know each other better. Sam’s new and I suppose she wants to build up her trust in both of us.”

“Right, because we look like very untrustworthy people,” Jack quipped, gauging an eye roll from Nikki.

“Jack, it’s one night,” she glared at him. “I’m sure you can withstand one night of pretending like you enjoy something. Who knows, you might end up having a good time.”

“Whatever,” he sighed, heading out of the front door, Nikki following closely behind.

“Are you sure you don’t mind driving tonight?” Nikki asked, placing the key in the lock and turning it.

“No,” he shook his head, opening the car door for her to which she gladly accepted, a grin spreading across her face. “You deserve to let go tonight.”

Jack walked around to the drivers side, getting in and beginning their journey to Sam’s house. After about twenty minutes, they finally pulled up outside her house. Exiting the car, Jack once again makes his way round to Nikki’s side, opening the door to let her out.

They both made their way up the path to the front door of Sam’s house, Jack reached out and rang the doorbell. They share a quick look before the door opens to reveal a very flustered Sam behind it. Nikki couldn’t help but raise her eyebrows at the sight in front of her. The apron that Sam had wrapped around her seemed to be covered in what seemed like some kind of tomato sauce. She could see the smirk that Jack was giving Sam in the corner of her eye.

“Excuse the mess, I’ve had a bit of a disaster,” Sam walked through back into her house, allowing Nikki and Jack to follow. “Please, make yourself at home whilst I sort this all out,” she pulled a bottle of white wine from the fridge, pouring a glass each for them.

“Oh not for me ta,” Jack interrupted before she could pour the second glass. “I’m driving. I’ll just have some water.”

“Sure,” Sam turned to fill Jack’s glass with water from the tap. “Here you go,” she handed them their drinks. “Just make your way into the living room down the hall on your right, dinner won’t be long I’ve just got to sort all this out.”

“Thank you for having us over,” Nikki smiled, taking a sip of her wine.

“Not a problem at all,” Sam smiled back.

Jack led the way into Sam’s living room, with Nikki close behind. He walked around the perimeter of the room before taking the plunge to sit down on one of the sofas. Nikki glanced around the room before deciding it was probably best to sit with Jack, if she sat on the other side of the room it would probably make things awkward and after the day they’d had, they could do without another bout of awkwardness.

“This is going to be an interesting night,” Jack took a gulp of his water.

“Jack,” Nikki rolled her eyes.

“Sorry,” he turned his head to look at her. “I’m trying my best, but it is me you’re dealing with here. I just think she’s being very eager for someone we’ve just met.”

“She’s breaking the ice, stop being so negative,” she paused. “It doesn’t suit you.”

“And what does suit me then Dr. Alexander?” He winked, leaning closer to her.

“If that is your attempt to flirt with me then you’re going to have to try harder,” Nikki chuckled, pushing him so that he was sat upright again. “Ah Sam, everything sorted?” She asked, looking over to Sam who had just walked into the room.

“Yes, if you would like to come into the dining room, dinner is served,” Sam led them through to the dining room. “God, I sound like I’m on Come Dine With Me now sorry.”

“Well the food better be good otherwise I will have to consider the score I’m going to give you,” Jack joked resulting in laughs from Nikki and Sam, the ice was broken.

They spent the next hour eating and talking, getting to know each other. Jack and Nikki both respectfully learnt things about one another that they didn’t know before. Nikki never really discussed her life in South Africa properly, it had been mentioned in passing but Jack just assumed that she didn’t want to talk about it so he never asked. Jack couldn’t help but smirk at the thought of Nikki with a South African accent, she’d always seemed so posh that having a different accent wouldn’t suit her. But in a funny little way it did, he supposed.

“So Jack what’s your story, how did you come to be here?” Sam asked, pouring herself and Nikki another glass of wine, Jack had lost count how many glasses they had had but Nikki did seem to be merrier which he supposed he didn’t mind too much.

“There’s not much to tell, I grew up in Belfast, went to University. Moved to Yorkshire and then came to London a few years back and I haven’t left since,” his eyes flickered over to Nikki who was listening to him intensely.

“Oh come on, you’re bound to have some secrets to tell,” Sam quipped, encouraging him. “What about your parents, family?”

“My Da’s here in London with me,” he stopped, drinking from his glass. “My Maw died when I was in University, my Dad never got over losing both her and his sister, wanted to get away, that's why my brother and I ended up in Yorkshire. When Ryan got arrested he joined me here; he wanted to keep an eye on us both.”

“How did they die, if you don’t mind me asking?” Sam questioned, her voice gentle.

Jack shook his head, “Me Maw had cancer and my Aunt died in an explosion when I was really young. IRA, their real target got away but she didn’t,” he swallowed the lump in his throat as he felt Nikki’s hand brush against his. “It broke my Da, doesn’t like to speak about them. But that’s enough about me and my tragedy, what made you say yes to taking this job then?”

“Honestly?” Sam thought about her answer. “I think it was the worst decision I’ve ever made, leaving. I wanted to be closer to my son of course but I missed it so much, I tried to find things that were similar but less intense but they never matched up to the excitement of the Lyell. And I know it wasn’t under the best circumstances but I was over the moon when I got that email, so here’s to more,” she raised her glass to which Nikki and Jack raised theirs, clinking the glasses against each other, all three of them took sips.

As the night lapsed, Jack watched as both Nikki and Sam progressively got more and more drunk. It wasn’t until Nikki stumbled into the kitchen, nearly falling over did Jack decide that it was time to call it a night. Saying his thank yous and goodbyes to Sam, he wrapped an arm around Nikki’s waist as he helped her out to the car. Bundling her in, he pulled the seat belt around her before getting in the drivers side and driving back home to hers.

“I’ve warned you before about dribbling on my seats so don’t think about it,” he chuckled but he doubted that she was even listening to him as he could see that her eyes were drooping already but at least there was a faint smile on her face, she’d had a good time and that’s all that mattered.

Being late at night, it wasn’t long before Jack was pulling up on Nikki’s drive. Switching the engine off, he looked over at her. She was fast asleep by the looks of things and in one of those rare moments, she looked peaceful and content, something Jack never got to see all that often. He softly placed his hand on her arm shaking her gently.

“Nikki darling, we’re home,” he spoke in an almost whisper. “Come on.” He unclipped her seatbelt as she began to stir. He went to open his door when she said his name, stopping, he turned to face her, “What?”

“Are you ever going to tell me?” She mumbles, Jack is quite surprised that he can understand her, she was so quiet.

“Tell you what?”

“What you were going to say to me in the basement?” She slowly opened her eyes, feeling her heart dropping as they land on Jack who’s watching her intently. “It’s always been you,” she barely lets out as she battles against her body which is calling for her bed.  
Jack shakes his head, she’s drunk and practically falling asleep in his car, she probably hasn’t got a clue what she’s saying. Opening his door, he walks around to her side and pulls the door handle, revealing Nikki who seemed to have woken up but her eyes were still drooping. He leaned into the car, placing his arm under her legs, ready to carry her into the house but he is stopped in his actions once again as she starts talking.

“I mean it Jack,” she slurs. “I always thought Harry was the one but you. You’re different,” she stops, a grin spreading across her face. She cups his cheek with her hands. “You’re my hero.”

“Yeah and you’re very drunk,” Jack laughs as he very easily pulls her out of the car and carries her to her front door, kicking the car door shut on his way. “Shit,” he sighs as he remembers that the door is locked. He gently placed her on the floor, keeping an arm around her waist to make sure that she didn’t fall over. Digging into his coat pocket, he pulled out the spare key. Unlocking the door, he pushed it open and once again, picked Nikki in his arms and proceeded to carry her up the stairs.

Laying her down on the bed, he helped her to take her boots off before pulling the blanket over her. Walking back downstairs, he grabbed a glass from the cupboard and packet of paracetamol before returning back to Nikki. Nikki stirred as Jack left the cup and tablets on her bedside cabinet. He jumped as her hand reached out and grabbed his arm.

“I need to tell you something before you go,” she murmured as Jack perched himself on the side of her bed. “Jack, I think I lo-”

“Nikki,” he interrupted. “I’ve lost count of how many glasses of wine you have had tonight so I’m going to stop you there before you say something you regret. Now try and get some sleep because something tells me you are going to have the mother of all hangovers tomorrow. I’m only a phone call away if you need me,” he smiled down at her before leaning over, gently placing a kiss on her forehead. “Goodnight,” he whispered as she was quickly dropping off into a deep sleep.

Standing up, Jack made his way back downstairs and back to his car, making sure to lock the front door. As he settled back into the car, he felt all the air leave his body. He shook his head, she was drunk. She didn’t know what she was saying. She probably won’t even remember that conversation, if you could call it that, tomorrow. The saying ‘drunk words are sober thoughts’ rang around his head but this was Nikki he was dealing with. She wasn’t like the average person, she was complicated and confusing. She says one thing and means another. She might not have even said “I love you,” but Jack will never find out now. Besides she wasn’t even sure if she meant what she was saying so even if she did say it, how could Jack be sure that that was how she was really feeling. And she’s probably feeling lonely, she’s only just broken up with Matt. That would be it, her emotions are all over the place and add too many glasses of wine to that equation and you just end with a blur of confusion and moments of regret. Jack sighed again, turning the engine on and making his way back to his own apartment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a bit carried away but I hope you enjoy :)

It had been a couple of weeks since Jack and Nikki had been to Sam’s for food and ‘team bonding.’ Although Jack would probably never admit it, it seemed as though that maybe spending time together outside of work had done the trick. He genuinely felt that the three of them got on like a house on fire and it helped them to work well as a team. He had been right, in regards to Nikki. She clearly couldn’t remember that night, or at least what she said to him. Well, it was either that or she remembered it all and was choosing not to mention it and if that was the case, Jack couldn’t entirely blame her.

Unbeknownst to him, Jack was spot on with the latter idea. Nikki vividly remembered it all. The very brief, very mumbled conversation she shared with him was one of the only things that she could clearly recall. She had tried her best to act like she had no recollection of the previous night but she had been struggling to look Jack in the eye properly. If he took any notice of what she said, he was doing a very good job at hiding it or maybe he was just pretending to not have a clue, for her sake.

What was making the situation even harder was the lack of cases at the Lyell that would usually provide the best distraction. There had been a few minor cases but they were just open and shut, nothing Nikki, Jack or Sam could really dig their teeth into and take their mind off their own lives for a while. The small cases, however, provided a chance for Nikki to overlook Sam’s work and post mortems. Allowing her to pick up some new techniques and extra knowledge. Nikki had heard of some of her previous cases, from Leo and Harry, so it really felt like a privilege that Sam could mentor her in an unofficial way. It was also nice for her to have a female face around the place, she hadn’t realised how much it helped until Clarissa came. And then when Clarissa left, it really took its toll on her and as much as she loved Jack, it just wasn’t the same.

It had been coming up to lunch time when a body had been delivered at the Lyell, another suicide. It was Sam’s turn to do a post mortem but she swung past Nikki’s desk as she passed and asked if she wanted to observe. Nikki happily agreed, not wasting any opportunity to learn more. She watched as Sam got to work, carefully manoeuvring her way around the body, not letting any detail go unnoticed. Sam was deep in concentration, not letting anything distract her. Nikki often wondered if she looked that fascinating whilst carrying out a post mortem.

“Nikki, can you take a picture of this please?” Sam asked, pulling her from her thoughts.

As Nikki picked up the camera, leaned in and clicked the shutter button; the flash bouncing around the room, she felt a shiver travel from the base of her spine to the top of her neck. The hairs on her arms stood up, she could feel someone watching her. She jumped as she saw a dark shadow move in the observation room from the corner of her eye. She turned her head slowly, her eyes landing on the figure staring back at her. She quickly flicked back to face Sam, feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of her. A mixture of excitement, thrill and anger surged through her veins. It had been pure luck that she hadn’t dropped the camera from her hands. She tried to control her breathing as she swallowed the lump forming in her throat.  
Placing the camera back down on the side, “Would you excuse me?” She barely let out, the tears in her eyes clouding her vision. She made it quickly through into the corridor, the lump in her throat growing as her heart beat faster. She stormed past Jack, causing him to look up from his computer, his face full of concern. He opened his mouth to ask if everything was alright but she was gone in an instant. Alarm bells ringing he stood up and followed her. He felt his stomach drop as he walked into the observation room, a beat behind her.

Nikki clenched her jaws, trying to keep the rage that was pumping around her from bubbling over the surface. He hadn’t changed, not one bit, save a few extra wrinkles here and there. And he still wore that stupid grin on his face, how he ever thought that she would be happy to see him, she’ll never know.

“You’ve dyed your hair,” the attempt at a joke was what made Nikki snap.

“What the hell are you doing here?” She said through gritted teeth, trying her best not to scream and shout at him when that’s all she wanted to do.

“Well hello to you too Dr. Alexander,” he quipped, raising his hands in the air, to which Nikki scoffed. “Here’s me thinking you would be overjoyed to see me, it has been a while after all.”

“It’s been seven years Harry!” She cried. Feeling her voice wobble, she turned away from him. Jack was quick to her side, placing a warm hand on the small of her back, gently running his thumb up and down her spine. A gesture that didn’t go unnoticed by Harry, a small smile appearing on his face as he watched their interaction.

“Just breathe darling,” Jack whispered. “Like your doctor said, in through the nose and out through the mouth. With me,” he added, causing her to look up at him. He breathed slowly with her, watching the small twinkle return to her eyes as she calmed down. “Better?” He asked to which she simply nodded before turning back to face Harry, Jack’s hand not leaving her back as a way to remind her that he wasn’t going anywhere and should she need the reassurance he’d be there straight away.

“Why now?” She sighed, her composure more controlled, the feeling of Jack’s thumb tracing circles into her back allowed her to focus on something and keep her grounded and hopefully prevent her from losing her temper.

“I know it’s a bit late-”

“A bit,” Nikki interrupted, rolling her eyes causing Jack to reach round and squeeze her waist gently, scolding her for not giving Harry the chance to speak. He hadn’t quite made his mind up about the man in front him and if he turned out to be a complete idiot then he would happily let Nikki rip him to shreds but he deserved the chance to explain himself, at least.

“But,” Harry continued, feeling himself beginning to become annoyed. “It wasn’t something I wanted to tell you over the phone, and please know, I desperately wanted to be at his funeral and I will forever regret not finding the time to come out and be there for you.”

“Just spit it out Harry, I haven’t got all day,” she remarked, resulting in another pinch from Jack.

“I couldn’t come because my wife was giving birth to my son,” he spat, he was frustrated with her now.

Nikki felt her heart drop as Jack held onto her tighter, he knew, even from the little she talked of him, that the feelings between the two people stood in front of him ran deep. And despite there being distance and time between them, their feelings may have changed but that foundation that solidified them was clearly still there and this revelation was going to be a kick in the teeth. For many different reasons, one being the fact that she probably imagined she’d be the one to share children with this man, the other being him keeping this from her and for so long, that’s got to hurt.

What really took Jack by surprise was the chuckle that came from Nikki, he looked over at Harry who seemingly was wearing the same expression as him.

“You’re an idiot Dr. Cunningham, you know that?” She beamed at him.

“I’ll think you find it’s Professor now actually,” he pointed out, a smile returning to his face. “Am I forgiven then?”

Nikki nods, leaving Jack’s grip to join Harry on the other side of the room, embracing him into a hug. Holding onto him a bit too tightly, she breathed a sigh of relief, the tension that was previously in the room fading fast. After a few moments, she pulled away from him, “You could’ve told me on the phone though.”

“It didn’t feel right somehow,” he looked over at Jack who was watching them with caution, obviously getting ready to jump between the two should another fight break out. “Are you not going to introduce us then?”

“Oh yes of course, sorry. Harry, this is Jack Hodgson my,” she paused, milling over the words. “Colleague and Head of Forensic Science. Jack, this is Professor Harry Cunningham.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Jack’s accent strong, almost threatening. He reached out, firmly shaking Harry’s hand, perhaps a little too hard judging by the slight wince on Harry’s face.

“A forensic scientist? When did that happen?” Harry asked, his eyes flicking between Nikki and Jack.

“Well, when you left us in the lurch,” Nikki raised her eyebrows, folding her arms at the samet time. “Leo thought we could do with a change around here. Just be thankful that Clarissa Mullery isn’t here anymore otherwise I don’t think you’d make it out of here alive,” she winked at Jack resulting in a snigger from him.

“I’ve actually got some work to get on with,” Jack spoke, sensing that the two of them would need some space to catch up on all the lost time. “So can I trust the two of you to not kill each other whilst I’m gone, please?” He joked, he stole a glance with Nikki who, with just a look, reassured him that she would be okay and not lose her temper again.

Harry, once again, watched the brief interaction between Nikki and Jack, knitting his eyebrows together. He waited until he was sure Jack was out of earshot before turning back to Nikki, an eager grin on his face.

“What?” Nikki asked, confused as to what was amusing him.

“You and him?” Harry gestured with his finger, emphasising his point.

“Me and Jack? Oh no,” she laughed nervously, avoiding Harry’s eye.

“You’re not doing a very good job of convincing me,” he smiled at her, watching her face run through a million different emotions.

“Am I that predictable?” She sighed, rolling her eyes. So very typical of Harry to walk back into her life and worm the truth out of her within mere minutes, she never could lie to him.

“Nikki how long have I known you?” He raised his eyebrows at her. He rubbed his hands together. “Besides, I think he used that hand shake to remind me of where I stood.”

“Shut up,” she poked him. “Now are you going to show me any pictures of this supposed wife and son of yours?”

A proud smile spread across Harry’s face as he dug into his pocket, pulling his wallet out. Opening it up, he revealed a picture of him sitting down, a woman with long, dark brown hair next to him. Nikki felt the breath escape her. She was beautiful, she was definitely Harry’s type. On the woman’s lap, a young boy with dark hair who was the spitting image of Harry. In Harry’s arms was a young girl, Nikki guessed she couldn’t have been much older than two and unlike the other three, she had bright blonde curly hair and a smirk on her face that was exactly like his.

“I see she’s inherited your smile then,” she chuckled, pointing at the little girl in the photo. “I hope that’s the only thing she’s inherited though, don’t want to imagine a mini Harry stomping around the place. What are their names?”

“Well that’s my wife, Natasha,” Harry pointed to the older woman. “Then that’s Edward Leo and that’s Olivia Nicola,” he grinned, anticipating her reaction.

“Oh Harry,” she bit her lip, feeling herself welling up again. She pulled him into another hug, holding on to him tightly. The two of them stayed in the observation room for what truly felt like forever. The pair both eager to update each other on everything that happened during the times they hadn’t seen each other. Nikki had learnt that the reason Harry had returned to the UK was due to the fact that his mother had fallen ill and he wanted to visit her whilst he still had the chance. Unfortunately, due to his work, it had meant that his trip really was just a flying visit and he was due at the airport in a couple of hours but having some time to kill he thought he would drop by.

Harry, on the other hand, didn’t learn much about Nikki which was typical of her really. She very briefly talked about Leo’s death which was understandable. He was like a father to her and no amount of time would ever heal the hole he left behind. It very obviously still broke her to think about him. Harry didn’t miss how she quite clearly left out some details in her stories, he was a forensic pathologist, he knew when something wasn’t adding up. But, he was happy to let it slide considering that this was the first time they’d spoken in a number of years, a part of him did worry that maybe they’d become too distant for her to see him as a confidant, someone she could trust and rely on. Or maybe that role had been passed on to someone else, someone who’s name kept being mentioned. Ten years ago he would’ve been jealous but right now he was just elated at the fact that she had moved on and she was happy and very very in love, even if she hadn’t quite realised it yet.

They are soon interrupted as Sam joins them. “Ah Dr. Cunningham, I thought it was you I saw,” she spoke, walking over to them, pulling Harry into a hug.

“Well that’s a face I never thought I’d see in this place again,” Harry chuckled. “And it’s Professor now,” quickly correcting her.

The smile on Sam’s face grew at this revelation, “Well done,” she paused. “I hate to interrupt this little reunion, however, I need to speak to Nikki urgently.”

Nikki furrowed her brows, “What’s wrong?”

Sam waved her hand, “Oh nothing to worry about, I just wanted to get a second opinion on something,” she faced Harry. “If you don’t mind Professor, I am quite parched.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, “Nothing has changed then,” he joked, resulting in a chuckle from Nikki. “I don’t think I like the thought of you two working together, you’re both forces to be reckoned with,” shaking his head, he turned and headed back into the main offices where he found Jack sitting on one of the stools in the lab, deep in concentration. “It seems that I am on drink duty, do you want anything?” He called out making Jack jump slightly.

“I’ll take a coffee ta,” Jack glanced up at him, not taking much notice. “Black, no sugar.”

“Coming right up,” the grin on Harry’s face fading fast as he realised that Jack was going to be hard to break, well that’s what he could gather from Jack’s very apparent moody face but as he busied himself with the drinks, a small smile cracked on Jack’s face, his plan of getting to Harry was working and he couldn’t be more pleased. He wasn’t in the slightest bit jealous of Harry, both Nikki and he had clearly moved on from whatever happened between them but Jack felt it was only right to remind of who called the shots around here now. He did, after all, leave and break Nikki’s heart in the process, not that she’d ever admit that. Like Jack, she could be quite stubborn.

After a couple of minutes, Harry finished up making the drinks. Picking up Jack’s, he joined him on the other side of the room before placing his mug down in front of him. Harry sighed, “Can I say something?”

Jack looked up at him, taking a sip of his coffee, “Depends. Is it going to offend me?”

Harry laughed nervously, not totally sure of where he stood with Jack, “I don’t want to come across as rude, I barely know you but,” he paused, watching as Jack’s face changed from a frown to a glare, he obviously didn’t like where he thought this was going. “Don’t waste your time.”

Now Jack’s face was full of confusion, “What?”

“She used to look at me like that,” Harry breathed.

“What are you going on about?” Jack’s accent was thick, he knew exactly what Harry was talking about. Jack had always struggled with trying to hide his affection for her in front of other people so it was no surprise that Harry had put two and two together, he just couldn’t help it. But he wasn’t about to admit that in front of someone who was effectively Nikki’s ex.

“You and Nikki,” Harry said bluntly.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Jack tried to stop his jaw from clenching, he wasn’t going to lose his temper or get aggravated or annoyed. He was going to be calm and collected and he was going to let Harry talk about whatever he was going to talk about, he clearly wanted to let his feelings be known.

“I know that look,” Harry continued. “I stared at it for the best part of eight years. You have her heart and trust me you don’t want to lose that. Tell me to shut up but please just do something about it before you regret it.”

“What, like you do, you mean?” Jack snapped.

Harry bowed his head briefly before looking back up at Jack again, “Something like that. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change my life for the world, I have an amazing wife and two wonderful children. But there are some days where I sit there and wonder about what could’ve been if I’d just said something. Done something,” he stopped. “I can see you care about her a lot, you’re very protective of her and you have every right to think that I’m talking through my arse, but it makes me so happy that she’s found someone like you because I can imagine that you’re not scared to put her in her place from time to time. Because let’s face it, Nikki does need to be told no sometimes and I doubt she’s changed all that much from when I was here. Forever getting herself into trouble.”

A small smile flashed across Jack’s face at that, “Has she said anything?”

“She didn’t have to and neither do you,” Harry spoke before being interrupted again by Sam for the second time that day. She was joined by Nikki shortly after, in her own clothes now. Harry walks over to the counter, picking up their mugs, handing them one each.

“So how long have I got you then?” Nikki asked, blowing gently on her tea to cool it down.

Harry pulled his arm out, looking down at the watch that sat on his wrist, “Well, I’ve got another three hours until I have to be at the airport.”

“That’s enough time for some lunch don’t you think?” Her eyes flicked over to Jack who’s mind seemed to be elsewhere. “Jack, do you want to join us? My treat,” He simply shook his head, struggling to string some words together. “Right, I’ll get my stuff,” she huffed, slightly bewildered at Jack’s lack of reaction, it wasn’t like him to turn down free food. She pulled a face before she headed back through to the locker room to retrieve her bag and coat.

Harry glared at Jack, “Don’t forget what I said,” was the last thing that came from Harry’s mouth before Nikki returned to the offices once again and they made their way out of the Lyell for the afternoon.

Sam turned to Jack, a puzzled look on her face, “What was that about?”

“A reminder to get my act together,” Jack breathed, standing up and walking towards the place where he knew he’d be able to clear his head.

As he walked into the locker room, he circled around the punch bag, debating whether or not he wanted to be stupid and hit it with his bare hands or if he should be wiser and pull out the gloves from his locker. Deciding that it was probably better to use the gloves he reached into his locker, revealing the two black gloves sitting there. He flexed his hand out as he looked down at the faint cuts, his knuckles were only just healing from the last time he let his anger out on the bag. That was the first time in a long time that he’d gone raw and it killed his hands, they were in agony for days. He unbuttoned the flannel he had on, letting it drop to the floor, goosebumps running over his skin as the chill in the room attacked him. He slipped his hands into the gloves. Pacing back and forth, he hyped himself up before taking the first swing. The crash of his glove connecting with the bag reverberated around the room, Jack groaned as the swung the second hit. He could almost feel the emotion that surged around him, travelling down his arms and escaping with each punch. He was hitting the emotions out of himself. The more he thought of Nikki, the more he found to be frustrated at himself, frustrated with himself for not finding the courage to just talk to her and tell her how he was really feeling. His punches started slowing as he felt the tears flowing, rolling down his cheek. He leaned his forehead against the bag, breathing heavily. He ripped the gloves off, throwing them down on the floor. He found himself shouting as he pushed his hands against the locker, fighting the temptation to kick the wall.

“I fucking love her Sam,” he spoke, feeling her presence behind him.

“I know you do,” she replied softly. “So do something about it, take her out, do whatever. Just do something because not doing anything is killing you and it’s driving me insane.”

He felt his body relax as he faced Sam, the sheen of tears on his cheek clear, “But what if she says no? I don’t know if I will be able to move on from that.”

“You won’t know unless you find out,” she offered him a gentle smile. “But something tells me that she won’t say no, she’ll probably be over the moon. She loves you too Jack and it baffles me that you seem to think she doesn’t.”

“I’m scared,” he sighed, the tightness in his throat increasing. “What if it goes wrong? I love her so much,” he sat down on the bench, resting his head in his hands. “I love the way you can see the cogs turning in her head as she’s cracked the case. The way she puts everyone first before herself and it’s nearly killed her every time but that doesn’t matter to her because it’s meant she’s saved someone else. I even love the way she smiles when she doesn’t think anyone is looking at her.”

Sam sat down next to him, resting her palm on his shoulder, comforting him as he poured his heart out to her, letting the tears flow freely now.

“I just don’t think,” he started again, coughing as he steadied his voice. “I don’t think I will be able to get over her if it goes wrong.”

“Jack, I’m going to give you some advice,” Sam breathed. “You don’t know that it’s going to go wrong, you can’t know that. And you can’t live your life thinking about the what ifs because quite frankly you’re not going to get anywhere in life. You and Nikki work, in the short time that I’ve known you. Well, I’m very surprised that it’s taken you until now to realise it. And if something does go wrong, I can promise you it won’t break you and her. You two have been through too much for something as mundane as a failed relationship to completely end you. You and Nikki are, dare I say, soulmates. Anyone can see that, even Harry does and from what I can gather those two were pretty close. Just speak to her.”

Jack nodded, taking a deep breath, wiping at his eyes, “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Sam smiled, patting him on the shoulder before standing up and leaving Jack to sort himself out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter sorry! But I hope you enjoy :)

It was nearly quarter to three when Nikki returned from having lunch with Harry. Jack had taken the time to think about how he was going to ask Nikki without coming across as eager but still wanting to show her that it would be something more than friends. It was only thanks to Sam for calming him down and bringing him a cup of tea when he came back to his desk that he was able to start thinking about things properly instead of taking it out on the punch bag. He had settled on just asking her out right, like Sam said, she is Nikki after all, even if she says no then she’ll just take it on the chin and probably won’t mention it again.

Jack watched her as she took her coat off, placing it on the back of her chair and flashed him that typical Nikki smile that always made him go weak at the knees. He found his heart fluttering as she flattened her hair down and sat down at the desk opposite him. She reached out and pressed the on button on her computer, settling back into whatever it was she started that morning.

“How did it go?” Jack asked, interrupting her small routine.

“Good,” Nikki sighed. “It’s just a shame he had to go back so soon. I feel like we’ve missed out on so much these past few years and I know that I haven’t been entirely blameless…”

“Woah, hold on a second!” Jack exclaimed, causing Nikki to snap up at him. “Did the Nikki Alexander just admit to being in the wrong?”

“Shut up,” she chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, how are you? You seemed distracted before I left.”

“I’m fine,” he lied, resulting in Nikki raising an eyebrow at him, she could see right through him, she always could. Taking a deep breath, he couldn’t think of a better time than now to ask her. He felt his heart rate increase as Nikki watched him intently, searching for an answer that he was taking forever to give. “Okay, well,” he started. “I was thinking maybe you might like it if you and I went to check out that new restaurant down the road.”

The grin spread across Nikki’s face, “Jack Hodgson, are you asking me out on a date?”

Jack felt his stomach drop, “Forget it, it was a stupid idea. Just pretend I didn’t say anything.” That was it, he was going to have to hand his notice into Sam, pack his bags and ship himself off to a deserted island and live off nothing but tree bark for the rest of his life.

“Jack,” Nikki spoke, pulling him from his thoughts. “I would love to,” she beamed, the blush tinting her cheeks a light pink.

“Oh, right, uh,” he stuttered, lost for words. He took a moment before he continued, “I’ll pick you up from yours at eight?”

Nikki nodded, “It’s a date.”  
“Would you excuse me? I’ve got a table to book,” Jack smiled, shooting up from his chair and taking his phone out of his pocket. He then made his way through to the corridor, a spring in his step. He didn’t think he would ever be able to wipe the grin off his face, not even if he tried.

Nikki, who remained at her desk, found herself in a very similar situation. Today really had been a surreal day. First, Harry turns up out of the blue after not seeing him for eight years and then Jack had finally taken the plunge to ask her out on a date after years of flirting and sexual tension. She tried her best to distract herself by doing her utmost to concentrate on the paperwork that sat in front of her. Her stomach dropped as Jack, once again, joined her and sat down in his chair.

“So, um,” Nikki started, finding herself getting all hot and bothered. It really had been such a long time since someone had made her feel like this. Not even Matt had the ability to make her feel like a teenager all over again. “This place tonight. Do I have to dress up?”

Jack glanced up at her, “Of course. I’m treating you tonight, I want you to feel special.”

* * *

It was half seven when Jack pulled up outside Nikki’s house. He knew that he was a tad too early but he didn’t know how much more of pacing up and down his apartment he could take. Taking a deep breath, he left his car and walked up her drive. Reaching out he knocked lightly on the door before smoothing down the white shirt that he had matched with a pair of dark blue jeans and tan boots.

His heart dropped as the door opened to reveal her. Her hair was curled as she usually had it in work but this time she had weaved half of it back into a small ponytail. His eyes travelled down her body, she was wearing that black dress with tiny orange and yellow flowers that he loved so much. The first time she had worn it into work, he had tried his hardest to not stare at her the whole time. After all, she wasn’t his to stare at. That was, until possibly now.

“You’re early,” Nikki spoke, breaking the growing silence.

“You look,” he paused. “Gorgeous.” The smile on his face grew as he watched the blush travel up her neck before finishing on the apples of her cheeks.

“You don’t scrub up too badly yourself,” Nikki winked. She stepped backwards, creating a gap to let Jack pass. “Couldn’t bare to wait much longer?” She teased, picking up the small stud earrings from the shelf before placing them in her ears.

“No,” Jack said slowly, looking down at the floor and giving himself away immediately. Nikki laughed, turning to face him and smiling.

“Can you pass me my jacket please?” Nikki pointed to the black blazer that was hanging up on the banister behind him.  
“Sure,” he reached around, picking the blazer up. He gently shook it out and held it out for her so she could put it on. Raising her eyebrows she spun around and pushed her left arm through before putting her right arm in. Jack let his hands travel down her arms, gently evening them out. He placed his hands on her shoulders, turning her to face him. He then cupped her face with his hands, feeling his heart stop as he made eye contact with her, the air thick around them.

“We should get going,” a smirk on Jack’s face as he dropped his hands and headed out of the front door, holding the car door open ready for Nikki once she joined him.

They steadily made their way to the restaurant, the car journey was fairly quiet. Neither quite knew what to say to each other and feared that if they spoke they’d say the wrong thing and end up ruining what would hopefully be a wonderful night. Pulling up into the car park, Jack walked round to the other side of the car and held the door open for her once again.

“The perfect gentleman,” she grinned, holding onto the hand he held out for her. Jack found himself blushing and he really hoped that she hadn’t noticed how clammy his hands had gone.

Nikki looked up at Jack, her hand not leaving his. Noticing how panicked he looked, she gave his hand a gentle squeeze in the hope of reassuring him. Jack offered her a small smile, he appreciated it and that’s all that mattered.

They made their way into the restaurant, Jack gave the waiter his name and soon they were being seated on a table by the window. Nikki’s eyes widened as she took in her surroundings, from the single rose placed in the middle of the table to the fairy lights that decorated the walls. She gasped as she spotted the bottle of champagne and two glasses, Jack really had gone to a lot of trouble. She let out a small giggle as Jack tried his best to discreetly slip some money to the waiter, he’d really have to work on that.

Placing herself down on the chair opposite to Jack, she slipped her jacket off and rested it on the back of her chair. As Jack settled in his own seat, the waiter returned with two menus. They thanked him before both reading through the menu respectively.

“You really didn’t have to go to all this effort Jack, I would’ve been happy with a pizza,” she laughed watching the frown on his face growing as he read through the menu. She can’t say she was surprised, this really wasn’t Jacks kind of scene and if she was being really honest it wasn’t hers either. She’d much rather be at home sharing a bottle of wine and a takeaway but it wouldn’t hurt her to do something out of her comfort zone for a change.

“You’re worth it,” he responded, glancing up to her. “Anything you fancy?”

“I don’t think I can pronounce half the things on here,” she chuckled.

“Now I find that hard to believe, you’re a doctor for one, I’ve heard you speak,” he paused. “And two, I had you down as the type of girl who loved a fancy restaurant and expensive food.”

Nikki scoffed, “Then you know nothing about me at all Mr Hodgson. I’m happy with a cuddle and a ready meal in front of the TV.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he winked. “How about we have some starters at least so I don’t feel like the worst person in the world and then we could go for a walk?”

“Sounds perfect,” she smirked.

They quickly ordered their starters, both settling on a soup as it was the only thing that sounded remotely inviting and it wasn’t long before Jack paid for the bill and they were leaving back through the entrance.

“Well I think this is the shortest date I’ve ever been on and it’s so typical that it’s with you,” Jack quipped, knitting his hand through Nikki’s.

“Who said it was over?” She lightly bumped him with her shoulder, grinning.


	8. Chapter 8

Jack and Nikki strolled through the illuminated streets, their hands still joined. It was odd, they had known each other for years - although at times it felt like a lifetime and they had been through so much together. Yet, at this present moment in time they were struggling to find things to talk about. Not that the silence bothered them as such, they were used to each other’s silence; it was no longer awkward. But both were slightly amused by the lack of conversation.

Jack opened his mouth to speak, obviously finding a good enough topic to bring up, “We’ve never really spoken about what happened in Mexico…” Well, that was not what Nikki was expecting.

“What’s to say? It’s been nearly three years now Jack. I would’ve thought we’d moved on from all that,” she stopped in her tracks, pulling Jack to face her.

“We have, but I never got to tell you how it was for me. How I felt. The things I never got round to telling you and by the time I worked up the courage to say something, it was too late, life got in the way,” Jack breathed.

Nikki sighed, feeling as though everything just clicked into place. The penny had dropped. She had been so wrapped up in her own worries and troubles, she acknowledged Jack’s problems but never truly gave him the chance to speak. She could kick herself for being so selfish. Sure, she hadn’t realised it at the time and she had her own thing going on but Jack was her best friend, she was meant to be aware of these things. She was meant to offer him a shoulder as much as he gave her one. She squeezed his hand - a reassurance, encouraging him to continue with what he wanted to say.

“I don’t want to scare you off and I know this is way too soon but what I told you in the hospital all those weeks ago, I meant it,” a nervous smile flashed across his face and he was sure that she could probably hear his heart racing. “It’s what I wanted to tell you the other day, when we were in the basement.”

She nodded, quickly realising what he was getting at. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about what happened in the hospital, replaying it over and over again in her head. At the time, she just assumed that he meant it for his Dad, he was drugged up and confused after all. But the small part of her couldn’t help but imagine, almost hope, that it was meant for her as well. And now here she was, so many weeks later and her suspicions were being confirmed. And she also now finally found out what he wanted to tell her and if she was being honest, she wasn’t surprised.

Stepping forward, Nikki dropped his hand. She reached up on her tippy toes and looped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. She smiled as she felt his arms encircle her waist, holding her close and lifting her from the ground slightly. She felt his warm breath on her neck as he tucked his head under her ear. They remained like that for a few moments, just simply enjoying each other’s company and the feeling of their bodies pressed against each other.

Nikki pulled back from him, her feet returning to the floor. Her hands resting on his biceps. She looked up at him, his eyes searching hers. She found herself flicking between his eyes and his lips. A small grin on her face as she realised he was doing the same. Her hand travelled from his arm to the back of his neck. Encouraging him and he was quick to respond. He was soon leaning down, his lips connecting with hers. At first a peck. This is new territory for both of them. The first step to a change in their relationship.

Jack wanted to be sure, he knew what he wanted but he couldn’t be totally sure of Nikki. She had said yes to him of course, but he needed to know if she was in this for real, for definite. He didn’t have much time to think about it before her lips were crashing into his. It took him a fraction of a second to realise what was going on before his arms were wrapping around her tighter, pulling her closer. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip, asking for permission which was granted as the kiss deepened.

Nikki pulled away, her face mirroring his as a smirk etched across Jack’s face. “You would not believe how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he chuckled.

“Jack,” she poked him in the chest, pushing herself back from him. She shivered from the loss of contact between the two of them, although his hand was yet to leave the small of her back. “Do you reckon that pub’s got a roaring fire? I’m freezing.” She pointed to the entrance of the small pub behind Jack.

They stayed at the pub for the remainder of the night, even fitting in a game of pool to which they shared a giggle as Jack was adamant that that was their actual first date all those years ago. But he soon went quiet again when Nikki asked him what number of dates they were on now then if that was the case. Their night ended with Nikki winning, although Jack would argue he let her win. They had made their way back to Jack’s car before eventually dropping Nikki back home. Sticking to his gentleman ways, he helped her out of the car and walked her to her door.

“I’ve had a wonderful night Nikki, thank you,” he spoke, standing on her doorstep.

“Me too, what’s next?” She cringed, quickly realising that she was coming on a bit too strong. “Is that a bit eager?”

Jack laughed, “No, it’s nice to know that I haven’t left you wanting to run for the hills. Actually,” he stopped. “It’s my Da’s birthday tomorrow and a few of his mates are having a get together at the pub and I was wondering, do you want to come along? You don’t have to if you think it’s too soon for all that. But, you’ve met my Da before so it’s not as if you haven’t met him -”

“Jack,” she interrupted, taking hold of his hand in hers. “I’d love to.”

The grin spread across Jack’s face, “Good. Good. Right well I best be off before I bore you to death.” Nikki chuckled, picking up on the growing sense of awkwardness between the pair. Both thinking the exact thing, _where do we go from here?_ Jack turned to leave but quickly faced Nikki once again when she called her name. She ran her finger along the lapels of his shirt, gently tugging him back to her. He picked up on her intentions, leaning in, he kissed her gently. He pulled back, smiling at her.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she spoke softly, her cheeks a light shade of pink.

“See you tomorrow,” Jack grinned.

* * *

The next day came along quickly and after a busy day at work, Jack and Nikki were soon arriving at the pub ready for Conor’s birthday and a much needed drink. Nikki held onto Jack’s hand as they walked through the entrance. The pub was bustling with people and from what Nikki could make out the majority of them were Irish, _this was going to be a fun evening._ Jack pulled her through the small crowd, quickly reaching Conor who was sat by the bar, a drink in his hand.

“Happy Birthday Da,” Jack grinned, passing over a bag over to his father. “It’s from the both of us.” Jack dropped Nikki’s hand to pull his dad into a hug.

Nikki held her hand out to shake Conors but he was quickly engulfing her in his arms, “Come on, you’re practically family at this point. Don’t waste our time with a handshake,” he spoke abruptly, surprising Nikki by his bluntness. “We’ve been through a lot this past few months and from what I hear it won’t be long until you’re my daughter in law.”

Her face turned a bright shade of red, she felt Jack snake his arm around the back of her, caressing her waist with his thumb. “Da!” he protested. “How much have you had to drink already?”

“Only two,” Conor slurred slightly.

“Right and I just saw a pig fly,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of drinks, I think it’s my turn to buy. What do you want?” Nikki asked, turning to face Jack, a hand resting on his chest.

“Surprise me.”

“Find a table and I’ll bring them over,” she smiled, leaning up to him, pecking him on the lips before slipping away from him to order their drinks from the bartender.

“I think you need to sit down, you’re an old man now,” Jack joked as his father was swaying almost.

Conor pointed a finger at him, “Less of the cheek son, you’re still young enough to go over my knee,” he said with a straight face and Jack instantly knew it wasn’t worth an answer back so instead he just walked towards the nearest empty table, Conor close behind him.

As they sat down, Jack looked out and watched Nikki as she leaned against the bar playing with her hair. She was nervous he could tell, she always fiddled with her hair when she was in a place she wasn’t quite sure of. He’d picked up on a few of her mannerisms over the past few years like how whenever she was concentrating, she usually had a pen in her mouth. He’d learnt the hard way to never lend her a pen, he ended up buying her two packs of pens just so she’d stop pinching his.

He hadn’t realised how obvious his staring was until Conor followed his gaze and sighed, not totally surprised at where his eyes landed. “She’s just like her, you know,” he spoke, pulling Jack from his thoughts.

“What?” He didn’t manage to catch what his dad had said, too lost in a day dream.

“Nikki,” Conor started. “She’s just like your mother. From the time I’ve spent with her and how you talk about her, she sounds just as passionate and stubborn as she was. Wouldn’t want to know what your arguments are like though. Unfortunately you inherited that from her in that department.” Jack watched as he dug around in his pocket, pulling out a ring, his eyes widening. “I’m not saying get down on one knee right now but when the time comes and it will because from what I can gather you two are made for each other, I want you to have this,” he handed Jack the small ring, a small diamond decorating the top of it. “It was the ring I gave your Maw when I asked her to marry me, she would’ve wanted you to have it.”

Jack was speechless, he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, “You’ve definitely had too much to drink,” he chuckled but still took the ring from his dad’s fingers, putting in his own pocket. “But you do realise that me and Nikki, we’re not even official yet. We’ve only been on one date and that was yesterday.”

Conor nodded, “When you know son, you know. And I know that you and Nikki,” he paused. “That’s love, and trust me you’ll want to hold on to that, for dear life. Because, you never know what’s round that corner. Ask her when you’re ready but never let go of her.”

“I mean, I don’t know what to say,” Jack stumbled over his words, he wasn’t used to his dad speaking to him this much, he was never that close to him. It made him emotional and he could feel the lump forming in his throat.

“Best to say nothing,” Conor winked, finishing off his drink before standing up as Nikki joined them once again, two drinks in her hands. “I’ll leave you both to it.”

“Hope I didn’t scare him off,” Nikki joked, taking a sip from her glass of wine.

“No,” Jack breathed, stretching his arm out and placing it on the back of Nikki’s chair. He ran his finger up and down the glass in front of him, letting out a nervous breath. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Okay…” Nikki eyed him suspiciously.

“I know this is going to make me sound like such a teenager but how would you feel about us being...official?” He bared his teeth, feeling his heart racing. “I mean you can say no of course if you want to take it slow, there’s no rush but I just feel that considering we’ve known each other for so long, I don’t want to waste anymore time.”

“Jack,” the tone of her voice made his stomach drop. “Can you do me a favour?”

“What?”

“Stop being so negative. One day you will realise how madly in love with you I am and you can stop doubting yourself at every given moment,” she smiled, Jack’s face mirroring hers. “Yes, by the way.” Jack leaned in, his lips brushing hers softly. He pulled away, not wanting them to be on full display in front of the pub but Nikki enticed him, stealing another kiss. He stopped as he felt her hand land on his thigh.

“If you carry on like that, I will not be able to stop my actions,” Jack chuckled, whispering in her ear.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been a couple of weeks since Jack and Nikki went on their first date, the Lyell had still been pretty quiet. And with no major cases in, they were able to spend more time together, learning things about each other that they necessarily didn’t know before. Nikki had also been spending most of her nights at Jack’s apartment, only going home to pick up fresh clothes but even then she spent most of her time wearing Jack’s. He’d pretend not to notice but it was quite difficult when the jumpers of his she wore drowned her so much they looked like dresses.

He often found himself just watching her walk around his apartment, as if it was theirs and she’d been there the whole time. His knitted jumper skimming her knees, the sleeves rolled up so much he was surprised they didn’t weigh her down, a case file in one hand and a pen in the other, dragging the tip of the lid across her teeth. He took a swig of the last of his tea, his eyes not leaving her. He was totally in awe and fascinated by her.

Standing up, he made his way over to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, engulfing her. Resting his chin on her shoulder, he whispered, “Why don’t you just move in? You’re here every night anyway.”

“Jack,” she started but quickly lost her trail of thought as he buried his face into her neck, planting kisses. She spun around in his grasp, breaking the contact of his lips with her skin. Resting her hands on his arms, she continued, trying to concentrate and not melt underneath his gaze, “Don’t you think we’re moving a bit too fast? I don’t want to rush everything and then have something go wrong and I end up not wanting to speak to you ever again.”

He scoffed, “Oh who’s being the negative one now?”

“You know what I mean. I don’t know how I would cope without having you in my life now,” she shook her head, almost laughing at herself. “God that sounds so soppy. I’m just so used to having you around and you’re always there when I need you and I just don’t know who I could turn to if you weren’t there anymore. I mean there’s Sam and Harry, but they’re not you. They don’t understand me like you do.”

Jack rolled his eyes, “I find that hard to believe, especially where Harry is concerned. And well, it’s been so long if we weren’t meant to be together then we wouldn’t be standing here right now, would we? I know it’s only been a couple of weeks but it just feels right. You being here,” he paused. “And well, you haven’t exactly slept in your own house since we’ve been together.”

“My house is bigger so it would make more sense if we went there,” she quipped, expecting a reaction from him but finding herself rather disappointed when she didn’t get one. Instead, he just smiled down at her. Relieving her waist from his grip and pushing her hair back from her shoulders, he rested his hands on her neck, his thumbs gently stroking her cheek.

“I don’t care where we go. We could go live in the sewers and it would make no odds to me because you will be there, wearing my clothes and chewing that goddamn pen of yours. But is that a yes?” He asked.

She nodded, “I’d love to.” She lifted herself up on her tip-toes as he leaned down to her, his lips brushing hers. Returning her feet to the ground she continued to look up at him, just admiring the way his eyes searched hers. The involuntary smile spreading across her face, this was probably the happiest she had been in a long time. Breaking the gaze, she rested her head against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her once again. “We need to get ready for work,” she breathed.

Nikki felt the vibrations from his chest as he groaned, “Do we have to? You don’t know what I’d give just to stay like this forever.”

She lifted her head, “Oh I can imagine.” She reached up to kiss him again but was soon interrupted by her phone ringing and seconds later Jack’s started as well.

“Looks as though we won’t have a choice in that matter,” he said, releasing her from his grip and picking up his phone.”

* * *

Jack closed the boot whilst Nikki zipped up her white suit. They quickly glanced at each other as they noticed the amount of blood that was on the floor already and they were hardly anywhere near the body yet. Nikki nodded and Jack made the first step, lifting up the tape to let themselves in. As they walked further onto the crime scene, the floor was getting redder by the second. This was brutal. Her eyebrows raised as she spotted that she wasn’t the first pathologist at the scene, they had called Sam in as well. This was going to be a hard one and it was barely getting started.

“Ah Nikki, Jack,” Sam spoke, standing up and joining them.

“They called you in as well?” Nikki questioned, not taking her eyes off the woman that was surrounded by that sickly scarlet liquid. She tightened her grip on her case, trying to steady herself.

“Yes,” she paused, turning back to the body. “I’ll get straight to it. This is Susan Williams, I found ID on the body,” Sam pulled up the evidence bag that contained the woman’s driving license and handed it to Nikki.

Nikki inspected the license, she was forty-one years old. Married. And she didn’t live too far away from where she was lying right now. She was probably on her way to work. Ready to start what would’ve been a normal day.

“She was almost certainly killed here,” Sam continued. “There’s nothing to suggest that she wasn’t. I’ve estimated her death to be less than two hours ago. The body is still warm to the touch but she has had massive blood loss. Death would’ve been almost instant judging by how vicious the attack was. But considering it was so brutal, I’m very surprised no one witnessed it. But then, there’s not many people up and about at that time in the morning and this isn’t a particularly busy street.”

“Who called it in?” Nikki asked.

“Some passerby. He was on his way to work and saw the blood,” Sam turned to Jack who had already made himself busy trying to see if there were any footprints leading to and from the scene. “Found anything Jack?”

Jack flicked his eyes to Sam and shook his head, “No, nothing. You’d expect to see something given how much there is. Whoever did this was prepared, forensically aware, this was a planned attack.”

“Planned?” The detective asked, walking over to Jack. “Planned suggests that it was someone she knew, my bets are on the husband. DCI John Lincoln, by the way. Nice to meet you.”

“Jack,” he tilted his head to Nikki. “That’s Dr Alexander and I assume you’ve already met-”

“Sam. Yes,” John interrupted. “I want this place cleaned up and sorted as soon as possible. I want to keep the media away from this as much as I can so let’s not hang about.” He marched off back to his other colleagues leaving Jack, Nikki and Sam sharing similar bemused looks.

“He seems like a barrel of laughs,” Jack remarked.

* * *

Back at the Lyell centre, Nikki and Sam had started working on the post mortem. They had discovered that the victim had fifteen stab wounds in total. There were no signs of sexual assault but there were obvious defence wounds, she knew the attack was coming. On appearance she seemed perfectly healthy, but Sam had found she had historic rib fractures, backed up by the X-Rays they had done, suggesting that she may have been abused in the past. Possibly by her husband or previous partner. That was all DCI Lincoln needed to hear. He stayed around till the end of the post mortem and asked Nikki if she would join him to arrest the husband, in order to take some DNA samples. She agreed despite Jack’s look of disapproval and soon they were pulling up outside the house of the victim.

Walking behind DCI Lincoln, Nikki’s heart dropped as she heard the voice of a young girl. She had a daughter. Pushing the lump in her throat down, she took a deep breath and tried her best to keep her emotions in check. That was quickly proved difficult as she watched the young girls face drop when Lincoln delivered the news. Nikki had guessed she was around maybe twelve or thirteen. A time where she would probably need her mother the most and just in a flash, she’s been ripped away from her. Her heart broke for the poor girl standing in front of her, crying her eyes out and gripping onto her dad’s arm. She just lost her mother and now they were about to take her father away. Nikki remained silent as Lincoln explained that they needed to provide DNA samples.

Squatting down to the floor, Nikki opened up her case and pulled out two evidence bags containing one tube each. After putting on some gloves, she set about taking swabs from both the young girl and her father. She tried to delay the upcoming events as much as possible but it was coming whether she liked it or not. As she clipped her case, that's when the dreaded words fell DCI Lincoln’s mouth.

“Ben Williams I am arresting you on the suspicion that you murdered your wife Susan Williams. You do not have to say anything, but it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say, may be given in evidence.”

The officers that were with them cuffed his hands and led him out of the house and into the police car that sat outside. Nikki looked to the young girl who was utterly distraught as another officer was trying to talk to her and convince her to go with them. Then she glanced up to Lincoln.

“What happens now?” She asked.

“We’ll take her to the station with us and then phone social services to deal with the rest,” he replied, not bothering to ask what she was referring to. That much was obvious by the look on her face.

“You can’t be serious?” Nikki shook her head in disbelief.

“What do you want us to do?”

“She’s just lost her mother and you’ve taken her father away. Now you expect her to sit in a police station, of all places, and wait for the social services to ‘deal with it,’” she gestured with her hands, feeling herself getting wound up. She sighed, “Look I’ll take her with me back to the Lyell, just send the social services there.”

Lincoln rolled his eyes, “Whatever. I don’t care where she goes. I just want to nail the bastard that killed her mother, alright? Can I get on with my job please?” He huffed, storming outside.

Nikki faced the young girl again, she wasn’t that much shorter than herself. The other officer had rightly backed off leaving just her and the girl.

She smiled sweetly, “I can’t imagine the things you’re feeling right now and how scary all this must be but I just want you to know that you can trust me. If you come with me now I will try my hardest to make things feel a bit better for you, yeah?”

The girl stared up at her and it took Nikki all of her might to not let the tears fall from her eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief as the girl nodded. Nikki gently wrapped her arm around the girls shoulder and guided her out of the house to Lincoln’s car.

They quickly made it back to the Lyell centre. Lincoln just dropped them at the entrance before speeding off back to the police station. For the whole journey the girl had been silent but Nikki had managed to find out that her name was Daisy and she was, as she had suspected, twelve years old. She hadn’t pushed her to talk, knowing all too well what it felt like to lose a mother at a young age. And to lose her father in one big sweep on top of that had to be the worst thing in the world.

Nikki led her to the sofa in Sam’s office, grabbing Jack’s jacket that hung on the rail as she passed.

“Why don’t you sit down and I’ll make us a drink, what do you want?” She offered, wrapping the jacket around Daisy as she sat down. The girl just shrugged, everything was so raw right now she probably didn’t have a clue what was going on. “How about a hot chocolate?” She nodded. “Marshmallows?” She nodded again. And with that Nikki left the office and set about making them their drinks.

It wasn’t long before Jack was joining her, “Nikki have you seen my jacket?” He called out. She was quick to shush him, putting a finger to her lips.

He looked around the room, then back to Nikki. A confused look on his face, “What’s going on?” He whispered, pointing to the two cups. “Is that for me?”

Nikki rolled her eyes, “No.”

“Then who’s it for?”

Nikki gestured with her head in the direction to Sam’s office to which Jack slowly walked over and saw the young girl sat on the sofa, his jacket wrapped around her. Now he was even more bewildered.

“Who’s that?”

“Daisy, she’s the woman’s daughter,” Nikki replied, watching Jack knit his eyebrows together.

“Right,” he stopped, taking a moment to put all the pieces together but somehow it still didn’t make sense. “What is she doing here?”

“They’ve arrested her dad and they were going to take her to the police station as well, to wait for the social services to come and sort everything out. I didn’t think that that would be the right place for her given what’s happened so I said that I’d bring her back here. She might feel slightly better not being surrounded by the police,” Nikki stirred the mugs in front of her, popping in two marshmallows in each. “She won’t be here for too long, just make sure you don’t leave anything out.”

Nikki quickly pecked him on the lips before leaving him to sit with Daisy. She stayed with her until social services had eventually arrived but at that point the girl had worn herself out from crying so much that had fallen asleep and her head was now resting in Nikki’s lap. Nikki slowly ran her hand over the girl's hair, trying to gently wake her without startling her. She started to stir and lifted herself up on her hands, the jacket that was over her now falling off.

“They’re here sweetheart,” Nikki spoke softly. Standing up Nikki walked round to Sam’s desk and picked up a pen and a small piece of paper. She wrote down her number before passing the paper to Daisy. “That’s my number, if you need anything or just someone to talk to. Ring that number and I’ll be there for you at any time. Okay?”

Daisy nodded, walking over to Nikki she wrapped her arms around her. Nikki engulfed her in her own arms and held her tightly. She’d been trying to keep her emotions at bay this whole time but she couldn’t stop the tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek. The woman from the social services stood in the doorway of Sam’s office, allowing the two a moment before stepping in and taking Daisy away. Nikki watched them as they left.

Jack was quickly by her side, a hand on her shoulder, “You alright?” he asked.

“I’ll be fine,” she wiped at her cheeks. “It’s just heartbreaking. How can the world be that cruel? What has she ever done to deserve having both her parents ripped from her in a matter of minutes?”

Jack let out a breath, trying to think of what the best thing was to say at this moment in time, “The only way we can help her right now is prove that her dad didn’t do it. Now, there is something about this that tells me it wasn’t personal. The location, the fact that it was out in the open. Most murderers who kill their husbands or wives are ashamed, they want to hide it. I will be very surprised if we don’t have another body in the next couple of hours.”

Nikki nodded, “I just wish there was more we could do for her.”

“You’ve done what you can and trust me, being there for her in the little way that you have been has probably helped her so much. In ways that you can’t even think of,” he squeezed her shoulder. “You really are going to make a wonderful mother one day. And I can only hope that I’ll be there to experience it.”

Nikki snapped her head up to him, a small smile dancing across her lips, “Oh now we really are moving too fast.”

Jack opened his mouth to fire back some retort but he was quickly interrupted by the shrill of the telephone that could only mean one thing, there had been a second victim.


	10. Chapter 10

The second victim was found in an alleyway not too far from the first crime scene. This time, the victim was a young man, in his twenties. Possibly homeless. Sam and Nikki were able to confirm that this attack was related to the previous attack due to the multiple stab wounds the victim received, much to Lincoln’s chagrin who was forced to release Ben Williams from custody. They also found the tip of the knife that was used in both attacks in one of the wounds but unfortunately they were still yet to find the rest of the knife.

Jack and DCI Lincoln watched from the observation room as Sam and Nikki continued the post mortem.

“Is there any way we could track this guy’s movements and possibly predict what his next move will be?” Lincoln spoke, breaking the current silence in the room.

Jack shook his head, “There’s nothing that I can do. But there is someone who can. I can try and get her on board but it might be tricky.”

Lincoln looked at Jack, “Why’s that?”

Jack breathed, “She’s not so easily persuaded.”

Nikki finished up the post mortem whilst Sam went to get changed first. She cleared all the equipment away ready for the others to put the body back in the fridge and clean the room down before heading to the changing room herself.

Placing the earrings back into her ear she made her way to return back to the offices. Thoughts running through her head, were they going to find who was doing this? How many people had to die before we’d have a suspect? She was momentarily distracted by the rumbling that was coming from her stomach, she’d skipped breakfast again.

As she reached the hallway she called out, “Jack. I hope you’ve brought something for us for lunch, I’m starving.”

“Uh Nikki,” he tried to grab her attention from where he leaned on the doorway of the lab but she was focusing too much on the paperwork sitting on her desk.

She sighed, standing up again and walking over to him. Reaching out she pulled the bottom of his shirt, “I was thinking we could order some pizza for later whilst we sort everything out.”

She went to lean up on her tip-toes but stopped when Jack took hold of her wrist pushing her away from him slightly. She pulled a face, shocked at Jack’s sudden rejection. He tilted his head to the left to which she quickly looked in that direction. Her face turned a bright shade of red as she saw who was there.

“Clarissa?” She spoke, confused. “What are you doing here?”  
“Well, I had a phone call from someone about half an hour ago begging me for my help,” she chuckled, bringing herself closer to Nikki. “Seems you two really can’t survive without me.”

Nikki laughed, bending down to hug Clarissa, “Well, I do hope you’ll be sticking around for a drink later. Things really haven’t been the same since you left.”

“Clearly,” Clarissa quipped, a smirk on her face.

“I’d better leave you two to it, those reports aren’t going to write themselves,” Nikki smiled awkwardly, feeling her palms becoming sweaty. She shook her head at herself as she made her way back to her desk.

“And when were you going to tell me?” Clarissa asked, eyeballing Jack.

Jack scoffed, turning back to the table, “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Right okay, whatever,” she rolled her eyes. “Shall we get back to what you dragged me here for?”

“It would be my pleasure,” Jack teased, leaning down onto the table to look closer at the laptop sat in front of Clarissa. As she clicked through, a map soon evolved with red circles surrounding the areas in which the killer had attacked.

“You know,” Clarissa started as she clicked in various places. “If Thomas was still here, he would’ve won.”

“Won what?” Jack snapped his head to her.

“He said that you two would have finally had some sense knocked into you,” she paused, taking a moment to concentrate on the task in hand. “I had you down for at least another year.”

“That makes me feel a lot better,” he huffed. “How much?” He questioned out of curiosity.

“That is for me to know,” she winked. “Ah hah. Here we go.”

A smile washed over Jack’s face as he dug his hand into his pocket revealing his phone, “You little beauty. I’ll just give Lincoln a ring, be back now,” Jack headed towards the reception of the Lyell holding his phone to his ear.

Clarissa let out a breath before joining Nikki who was sitting at her desk, “Go on then, tell me all the gory details. And what happened to Matt?”

Nikki glanced up to Clarissa as she came into the room, “It’s really not that exciting.”

“Oh come on. You and Jack have been dancing around each other for so long now, it’s the most exciting thing to happen in my life for months,” she grinned. “So tell me, how did it happen? I want everything.”

“How long have you got?” Nikki joked. “No, me and Matt broke up and a couple weeks later we went for dinner and well, it just happened. Not much else to say.”

“Just like that?” Clarissa questioned, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

“Just like that,” Nikki shrugged.

“And are you happy?”

“Couldn’t be happier,” Nikki’s face lit up. She opened her mouth to say something else but stopped as Sam came into the room. “Ah Professor Ryan, this is Clarissa Mullery, our ex-forensic examiner,” she spoke, standing up to meet Sam.

“So this is the alustrious Clarissa Mullery?” Sam raised an eyebrow, reaching a hand out to shake Clarissa’s. “These two don’t stop talking about you,” she flicked her eyes to Nikki and Jack, who had just walked back into the room.

“Talk about what?” Jack asked, looking around all the faces in the room, bewildered of some sorts.

Clarissa chuckled, “Seems I’m going to have to start signing autographs.”

It wasn’t long before Lincoln was joining them once again. They had set themselves up in the observation room as Clarissa walked them through the map that she had made.

“So this is the best I can do at the moment,” she started. “Unfortunately, it’s hard to predict someone’s next movements when not many movements have been made in the first place. And obviously we don’t want more people to be murdered. But if I am correct, there seems to be a pattern forming already, so it’s mostly likely that he or she will strike either in the next street over from the second murder or they will try to deter us and strike in the street before the first murder. But with cases like these I can’t be sure. If they’re a spree killer then they could go anywhere and kill even more people.”

“Well it’s a start at least,” Lincoln huffed. “Has anyone found a link between the victims?”

Jack shook his head, “There’s absolutely nothing to suggest the two of them are related. I mean come on, middle-class woman in her forties and a homeless man in his twenties? There is no way they’re related, they can’t be. These are random attacks, they have to be.”

“Have you ever thought that you could be wrong?” Lincoln began, sitting up straighter in his chair. “They’re killed one street apart from each other, that can’t be a coincidence? Most spree killers have victims much further away from them and if they have victims close together they’ll usually attack within minutes not two hours.”

Jack raised his eyebrows, leaning forward on his elbows, “Excuse me?”

Nikki’s eyes flicked to meet Clarissa’s who knew exactly what was about to happen should Lincoln continue trying to wind Jack up. Lincoln stood up, cracking his back.

“I want to take another look at the crime scenes, see if you missed anything,” he remarked. “Dr Alexander I want you to come with me please.”

Nikki looked to Jack who was subtly shaking his head, his face like thunder. She didn’t want to go with Lincoln for many reasons, one of them being for Jacks sake. She really wasn’t in the mood for dealing with jealous Jack, he was protective enough as it is. And secondly, she didn’t trust Lincoln in the slightest, it was obvious that he had taken a fancy to her and there was something about him that she didn’t entirely feel safe with. However, not wanting to seem unprofessional she had to agree to go with him. Trying her best to ignore the glare Jack was giving her she stood up and followed Lincoln out of the Lyell, picking up her jacket and bag on the way out.

“She couldn’t exactly say no could she?” Clarissa pointed out, watching Jack who hadn’t taken his eyes off the doorway. “You can trust her, nothing’s going to happen.”

“It’s not her that I don’t trust, it’s him,” Jack breathed. “He’s so determined on being right when he’s clearly wrong.”

“Right and you’re nothing like that are you Jack?” Clarissa scoffed, rolling her eyes.

* * *

Pulling up towards the first crime scene, Nikki left the car with Lincoln close behind.

“What exactly are we looking for here?” Nikki queried, heading closer to where the body had originally been found.

“Anything to link this murder to the other,” Lincoln answered, squatting down to the floor, looking out for any clues that may have been missed upon initial inspection.

“So why have you asked me along and not Jack?” Nikki folded her arms, staring down at Lincoln. “ _He’s_ the forensic scientist after all. I just deal with the bodies.”

Returning up to his full height, his eyes somewhat level with Nikki’s, “Can I be honest with you? I don’t like him. Besides, where else am I going to get the opportunity to ask if you’ll go for a drink with me later?”

Nikki’s face dropped, almost feeling as though her jaw was on the floor. She was aware that he’d taken a liking to her but she was not expecting that at all, “Sorry, what?”

“Seriously? Me and you, you must’ve picked up on that tension,” a hopeful grin on his face.

Nikki couldn’t help but laugh, causing the smile on Lincoln’s face to drop, “Well if that’s all you wanted then can we go back to the Lyell because this really is a waste of our time. Jack is the best forensic scientist I’ve ever known, he’s not going to miss anything. You know as much as I do that the only thing linking these cases are the killers so please, let’s get on with some real work.” She turned and headed back to Lincoln’s car, leaving behind a very stunned detective.

“I’ll take that as a no then?”

They were soon returning back to the Lyell, Nikki making her way in first. Placing her bag on the desk and her coat on the back of her chair again, she tried her best to ignore Jack who was staring at her. She went about making herself a cup of tea.

“Do you want one Clarissa?” She called out, making a point of not including Jack.

Clarissa looked to Jack before facing Nikki again, “I won’t say no, thank you.”

Nikki sighed as she poured the hot water into the two mugs in front of her, “You know, it’s a real shame you’re not sticking around. I’ve really missed having you here.”

Jack pulled a face at Clarissa and mouthed ‘what did I do?’ holding his hands up in the air to which Clarissa simply shrugged her shoulders. Standing up he joined Nikki by the counter, pulling out himself a mug and placing it loudly on the counter before setting about making his own cup of tea. He was waiting for Nikki to say something but she just handed a mug to Clarissa and went to sit down at her desk, another cup in her hand.

He watched as she turned the computer on and continued working on the report she was writing up. He knitted his eyebrows together, completely baffled. Clearing his throat he walked back to his desk and sat down in the chair, “How did it go with Lincoln? You weren’t gone very long, did you find anything?”

Nikki glanced up at him, “No,” she replied, quickly switching her focus back on the computer.

“Right,” Jack breathed, standing up again. “Can we have a word please? In private.”

“Sure,” Nikki nodded, following him out of the door and into the hallway.

“Do you want to explain to me what’s going on?” Jack asked, folding his arms.

“Nothing.”

“There’s something wrong,” the tone in his voice softened as he grabbed hold of her hand. “Did something happen when you went with Lincoln earlier?”

“What about Lincoln?” She snapped.

Jack nodded, the penny dropping, “He asked you out didn’t he?” Dropping his hand from hers, he spun on his heel, his back to her. With an arm supporting him he leaned against the wall.

Nikki reached out and ran her finger up and down his back, “Please don’t overreact about this. I knew you didn’t like him but I couldn’t say no earlier and then when he said that the only reason he wanted me to go with him was to ask me I made sure he drove me straight back.”

“What a prick,” Jack remarked.

Nikki chuckled, “Tell me about it. Just please don’t do anything stupid when he comes back, I’ve made it quite clear to him that I’m not interested so he won’t be asking me any stupid questions again.”

Jack faced her once again, “Can’t say I blame him mind.”

“Jack,” she rolled her eyes, hitting him in the chest with the back of her hand. A smile spread across his face as gazed down at her. He leaned down to kiss her but he was stopped as a cough came from down the hallway. Lifting his head he looked to where the sound was coming from. The grin dropped as he realised who it was.

Nikki’s head darted between the two, making a note of how Jack’s fist clenched slightly. She placed her hand on Jack’s face and pulled him back to her. Standing up on her tip-toes, her lips brushed against his. She didn’t miss how Jack’s arm snaked around her waist, bringing her closer to him as the kiss deepened. Knowing that she had done all she needed to do, she pulled away from him and headed back towards the entrance.

“DI Lincoln,” she smirked as she entered the code and held the door open for Lincoln and Jack to follow behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

It turns out that Lincoln had come back to the Lyell to inform them all that there had been another murder and Clarissa had been correct in her guesses. The third victim was found in the next street over from the second murder but the time between this victim and the second had increased. They were slowing down or they were waiting for something. As they reached the crime scene they instantly knew that something was different. First, there was a lot less blood and that wasn’t totally surprising given that the victim hadn’t been stabbed as much. Next, they found one stab wound in his stomach, the knife that was found next to the victim was clearly the same knife that had been used in all the attacks. The tip of the blade was missing but obviously they couldn’t be sure it was the right one until they tested it back at the Lyell. 

Standing up from the victim, Nikki looked to Jack who she knew was thinking the exact same thing as her. This was the killer but was Lincoln willing to hear that? Taking a deep breath she spoke, “The MO of this one is different. I’ll know more at the post mortem but this is almost definitely the killer and it’s likely he killed himself, judging by the angle of the wound.” 

“Can you confirm that Dr Alexander?” Lincoln snapped, not pleased that he wasn’t able to catch him before this happened. 

Jack rose from his squatted position to his full height, he stared over at Lincoln, “She said she’ll know more at the post mortem,” he frowned, narrowing his eyes as Lincoln glared back at him before walking off. 

Jack turned to Nikki, a smirk on his face. Nikki just shook her head at him before continuing with the task at hand. Nikki pulls the camera from her case and begins taking photos but paused as she noticed that Sam had stopped her examination of the body. 

“Everything okay?” Nikki asked, resting her elbows on her thighs. 

“I know this man,” Sam breathed. “He was the one who reported the first murder. He was here talking to the police when I arrived at the scene.”

“It’s not uncommon for murderers to return to the scene of the crime,” Nikki pointed out. “If they directly involve themselves in a non-guilty capacity, they erase any suspicion.” 

Back at the Lyell Nikki and Sam carried out the man’s post mortem just like they had the other two. Clarissa stayed at the lab helping Jack sample his clothes and carry out any necessary tests. They were able to establish that the man had in fact killed himself. They also discovered a hospital tag on the man’s wrist, his name was Jacob Sanders. After they contacted the hospital they had found that he had been admitted to a psychiatric ward a couple of months prior to all of this and were now waiting upon one of his doctors to provide details and identify him. 

As they cleaned up the body ready to be viewed, his doctor arrived. Nikki took it upon herself to lead her in to view him. Standing in her usual spot, she remained silent allowing the doctor to have a moment. When they had finished up, Nikki guided her to the observation room so they were able to discuss Jacob’s case and hopefully find an answer to all of this. 

“Jacob had escaped from the ward this morning,” she started. “We had spent most of the day tracking him down but had no luck. He had very vivid fantasies about death and we were still trying to find the cause of this. He had been on various therapy programmes and drugs and we thought we had it under control.”

“When I examined his brain,” Nikki interrupted. “He had a small tumor on his frontal lobe, that would account for his change in behaviour. If he had a brain scan when he was admitted it may have been missed but it may have been significant enough to make a difference.”

“How come you didn’t report him missing to the police?” Jack questioned, clearing his throat. 

“This isn’t the first time he’s run off but he’s always ended up coming back so we just hoped that this would happen again. I guess we were wrong,” the doctor sighed, bowing her head. 

“Surely, if this isn’t the first incident then you would put extra precautions in place to keep him secure,” Jack furrowed his brows, not quite believing what he was hearing right now. His eyes flicked to everyone else in the room who seemed to be wearing the same expression as he did, at least he wasn’t on his own with this one. Even DCI Lincoln was seemingly agreeing with him.

“Our practice believes in freedom,” she continued. “If we keep them locked up, it suppresses them. Doesn’t allow them to fully delve and explore the causes of their mental health. We like to integrate them back into society at a quicker rate, freedom allows that.”

“You can’t be serious,” Jack scoffed, tapping his finger on to the table in front of him trying to keep his anger under control. “Two innocent people died today because your practice doesn’t believe in proper care orders. You do know we are going to have to report you? You could’ve prevented this, not only are you causing risk to other people but you are harming your patients just as much.”

“Jack,” Lincoln interrupted. “That’s enough. Dr May I think that’s all we need but please do not think that you are getting away with this, we will be investigating this matter further in the next couple of weeks.” He waited till the doctor left before turning back to the rest of the Lyell team. “Thank you so much for all your help today guys. May be the shortest case I’ve ever worked on but as we have just discovered, this is only the beginning.” 

And with that Lincoln left them to it to wrap up the case and write up any relevant reports. As she had promised that she would stick around for a drink at the end of the day, Clarissa stayed at the Lyell and pestered Jack at every given opportunity. She had to make the most of it whilst she could. Just as Nikki and Jack were finishing up on the computers and getting ready to leave Sam came into the office area holding up a bottle white wine. 

“Fancy a glass in my office?” Sam asked, looking round at the three faces in the room. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Clarissa chirped, already making her way into Sam’s office. She was quick to pick up on the small changes in the room from when the office belonged to Thomas but she supposed that she didn’t mind it too much. Nikki and Jack were soon following her after switching the computers off. 

Jack settled down on the two seater with Nikki next to him. Subconsciously, he rested his arm on the back of the sofa behind Nikki but it didn’t go unnoticed by Clarissa who just smirked at the pair. 

“So come on then Clarissa, what have you and Max been up to whilst you abandoned us?” Jack questioned, receiving a small tap on the arm from Nikki.

“Ah wouldn’t you like to know,” Clarissa winked, taking a sip of the freshly poured wine. “We’ve actually been abroad if you must know. Max wanted to do a tour of the world but quickly took back his suggestion when he realised how expensive it was so we just stuck to a tour around Europe.” 

“And how was that? I hope you took lots of pictures,” Nikki smiled.

“Of course,” Clarissa picked up her phone from her lap and pulled up an album with all the pictures from her adventures. They continued talking about her holidays along with the case and previous cases they had been working on. After about an hour Sam left the three of them, wanting to get an early night and knowing there was a lot of catching up that was needed between the three. Nikki had also left the room, picking up a call that was coming through on her phone. Seizing the moment of it just being Jack and Clarissa, Jack dug into his pocket and pulled out the ring that his dad had given him the other week to show her. 

Clarissa gasped, “I didn’t realise it was that serious.” 

“Well we are moving in together and I know it’s only been a couple of weeks but it just feels right, you know?” Jack rolled the ring between his fingers. 

“Hold your horses,” Clarissa held her hands up. “At least for a couple of months yet. You know what Nikki’s like when it comes to committing to something, you don’t want to scare her off. Besides, you’ll want to wait until you actually move in together before making any rash decisions.” 

Jack nodded, “True,” he looked up to her. “This is why I need you around, you stop me from making stupid mistakes.” 

“That’s a first,” Clarissa quipped. “Proposing to Nikki won’t be a mistake at all. Doing it right this second is just way too soon. You really love her though, don’t you?”

Jack couldn’t stop the beam on his face, “I never thought I could love anything this much.”  
“I can’t quite believe what I’m hearing,” Clarissa laughed to which Jack quickly joined in. Hearing the handle turn, Jack whipped the ring back into his pocket and tried his best to act as normal as possible. Luckily for him, Nikki seemed too focused on who she had just been on the phone to. 

“Who was that?” Jack asked, concern lacing his voice.

“Daisy,” Nikki sighed, finishing off the last of her wine. 

“Everything alright?” Nikki just shook her head.

“Who’s Daisy?” Clarissa piped up.

“The daughter of the first victim. She just wanted someone to talk to, a friendly voice. Lincoln’s just told them who it was. The poor thing,” she paused, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I think she’s feeling a bit better now but to find out that her mother was attacked for no reason and she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time is just -”

“Awful,” Jack finished, snaking his arm around her waist and caressing her with his thumb gently, comforting her. 

Clarissa picked up her phone, checking the time, “Well I best be off. It’s getting late now and Max will end up thinking that you’ve kidnapped me,” she chuckled, trying to lighten the now sullen mood. 

“We can give you a lift if you want,” Jack offered. “It’ll save you having to phone for a taxi. Besides, I’ve barely touched my wine.” 

“Only if you’re sure,” she considered. 

“It would be my pleasure Ms Mullery,” Jack bowed at her, laughing. 

The drive to Clarissa’s wasn’t too long but Jack could tell that the phone call earlier had affected Nikki. He’d spent most of the ride with his hand resting on her thigh, only moving it when he had to change gear. Not much was said on the way apart from Clarissa’s sarcastic comments about Jack’s driving to which Jack simply told her that he would leave her on the side of the road and she would have to make her own way home if she wasn’t careful. 

As they pulled up outside of Clarissa’s house, Jack helped Clarissa out and walked her to the front door, he wanted to take the opportunity to talk to Max as well. Nikki stayed in the car, after talking to Daisy she just wanted to go home and have a soak in the bath to let the horrors of the day just simply wash away. She watched as Jack and Clarissa made their way up the drive but something suddenly caught her eye. Looking down at Jack’s chair she spotted it, reflecting the light from the streetlamp. Her heart dropped as she reached out and picked it up. 

Her eyes widened as she stared down at it in her fingers. Thoughts started racing through her head, did he really think they were ready for all of that yet? I mean, they had only just agreed to move in together and he was already thinking about marriage? Then again, it wasn’t in a box so he couldn’t be actually thinking about asking her. But, why did he have a ring in the first place? She tried her best to ignore the butterflies in her stomach and couldn’t quite place whether they were there out of excitement or of her being absolutely terrified. 

She’d often wondered what it would be like to be married to Jack or to have kids with him but now those daydreams could possibly become very real, hopefully the latter would come at a later date however. She had had no time at all to process it and it scared her. But it was just Jack, she had nothing to be scared of. And if her daydreams had been correct then he would make the perfect husband and an even better father. She couldn’t help but think that things were moving way too fast but she was a believer in things happening for a reason. And if this was being presented to her right now then surely there’s got to be something in it. 

And ultimately, she couldn’t deny the slight surge of anticipation that ran through her when she saw the ring and it was a beautiful ring. Something she would completely expect from Jack. Maybe, deep down, she wasn’t so opposed to the idea? Maybe Jack would be the only person to get her over her fear of commitment. She chuckled at that thought, he’d been there the whole time, maybe if she’d just opened her eyes sooner. Pulling her from her thoughts was Jack who was heading back to the car, showtime. 

Nikki kept hold of the ring in her fingers, staring at him as he made himself comfortable. It wasn’t until he went to clip his seatbelt into place did he notice what Nikki was holding. Locking his eyes with hers, he felt his stomach drop and his mouth go dry. This really wasn’t how he was planning it all, he was barely planning it in the first place. He really should’ve taken it out of his coat pocket and put it somewhere safer. 

Realising that there was a growing sense of awkwardness he spoke, “Please don’t panic,” he breathed, trying to keep his voice under control from all of the stress of the situation. “I wasn’t planning on doing anything with it yet. I just haven’t had the chance to take it out of my pocket.”

Nikki continued glaring at him, saying nothing and revealing nothing with her face, simply enjoying making him squirm. And honestly, she was quite interested in what he was going to say about it all and how he was going to try to worm his way out of it. 

“Please say something Niks,” he begged, if his heart raced any faster he would end up giving himself a heart attack. He watched as her lips twitched, a smile emerging across her face. He furrowed his brows, not quite sure of what to expect next. 

“Yes,” she grinned.

“What?” Fell from his mouth so quickly he barely even noticed that he said it.

“Yes,” she repeated, nodding at the same time. Her eyes blurred as the tears formed.   
“Yes?”

Nikki chuckled at his disbelief, “We don’t have to get married straight away of course. We could do it three years time or whenever we feel ready. And I know I sound insane but I’m trying to tell you that I want to marry you Jack. I know that sounds odd coming from me and for me to say yes so soon, you know as well as I do that I struggle with that kind of thing. I’m not good at forming long, romantic relationships. I’m really rubbish at it. But what I have with you feels so different from what I’ve had with anyone else. You’re different Jack, you always have been. I love you and I want to have children with you and I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to be your wife Jack,” she was sobbing at this point, the tears falling freely down her cheek. 

Jack couldn’t quite believe what was happening right now and he had to fight the temptation to pinch himself to wake himself from what was seemingly a dream. Did Nikki Alexander just say she wants to actually marry him? He couldn’t take his eyes off her and he had apparently lost his voice because there truly were no words he could think of right that very second. 

“Jack this is where you say something,” Nikki tried encouraging him, starting to feel insecure about spilling her heart to him. If he rejected her now after she said all that she really didn’t think she could recover from it. 

“Sorry,” Jack spoke eventually. Nikki bit her lip, wiping away the tears already knowing where this was going. It would just be absolutely typical, the first man she really and honestly loves, she tells him how she’s feeling and he runs for the hills. She made to hand him the ring back and geared herself up for the walk home she was going to have to take when she felt his hands cup her face. And before she knew it, his lips were crashing into his. 

She felt nothing but relief as the kiss deepened, his tongue dancing with hers. Jack could taste the salt on her lips from her tears. It really wasn’t how he was planning to ask her but he wouldn’t change this moment for the world. Pulling away, he plucked the ring from her fingers. Nikki covered her mouth with her hand to try and stop herself from smiling so much as he took her other hand and put the ring on her finger - it was a perfect fit. They shared another kiss before Jack made haste to get to his apartment as quickly as possible. 

Nikki couldn’t stop herself from admiring how the ring fit on her finger, she looked to Jack, “I love it.”

Jack smiled, “It was the ring my Da gave to my Maw when he proposed to her. He gave it to me on his birthday. He wanted me to have it to give to you.”

“Aw Jack,” Nikki exhaled, resting her hand on top of his. “I love it even more.” 

Nothing could wipe away the grin that was planted on her face for the whole ride home. Parking up on the drive, Jack made his way round to Nikki’s side, he practically pulled her out of the car. Holding her head in his hands, he pushed her up against the car. Leaning down, his lips connected with hers. He bit down on her lip causing Nikki to groan but that only spurred him on more. His hands soon travelled down her body, resting on her hips, he brought her closer to him, their bodies pressed together. Nikki’s fingers raked through his hair encouraging him. Gasping for breath, he tore away from her. Taking hold of her hand he guided her through the door and up the stairs, fighting with his self control to want to kiss her at every given opportunity. 

As he opened his door, he turned to pick her up. Her legs wrapped around his waist, hands resting on his shoulders. It wasn’t long before her lips were on his again. They headed straight for the bedroom, not wanting to waste any more time, both fearing that neither would last with the way they were going. Placing her down on the bed, Jack stood up, ripping his jumper over his head. Nikki watched him, biting her lip before following in his footsteps and removing her clothing too. 

They were soon exposed to each other save for Jack’s boxers which didn’t leave much to the imagination. Sitting up on the edge of the bed, Nikki ran her finger down his stomach, her lips swiftly following in the same direction. Stopping as she reached the waistband of his underwear. Resting her chin on his lower stomach she looked up at him, her eyes drooping with lust. She didn’t miss the way he shivered as she carefully peeled his boxers away and down his legs. Her eyes widened at the way he throbbed, they both knew that he was going to spill over the edge and they had barely even started. 

She ran her hand up and down his length but was soon stopped by his hand on her wrist. She glanced up at him again before he was lowering her back down onto the bed by her shoulders. Leaning over her, he decided it was time for him to tease her instead. He worked his way down her milky skin, planting kisses where he could whilst his fingers got to work for where she yearned for him the most. He felt the goosebumps form on her skin under his lips as he pumped into her. Her body jerking in time with his movements. She was close but not wanting the moment to be over so soon he stopped. Laughing as he watched her face drop. 

He continued placing kisses on her, travelling up her body this time, stopping as he reached her lips. He flattened her hair as he gazed down at her. 

“Mrs Hodgson,” he beamed, waiting for her reaction which wasn’t disappointing. “It suits you.” 

She leaned up to catch his lips with hers briefly, “I love you,” fell from her mouth. 

Dropping his head, his lips connected with her neck nipping gently. He pressed himself against her as he slipped into her. She gasped, still not used to his size. They moved in unison, increasing in pace as they both drew closer. Taking her left hand in his, he pushed it above her head, squeezing it. The feeling of the ring on her finger would’ve been enough to tip him over the edge if it weren’t for Nikki tightening around him, her own orgasm washing over her. His eyes searched hers as they came together. His lips collided with hers as they came down from their high. He settled next to her, pulling the blanket over them. 

Nikki quickly tucked herself into his side, her head resting on his chest whilst his hand ran up and down her back. 

“I can’t believe this is actually happening,” Nikki threw into the air, feeling the blood pumping around her body. 

Jack peered down to her, “You do want it to happen though?” He questioned, suddenly feeling a little bit insecure. 

Sitting up, she looked down at him, “Of course I do,” she leaned down, pecking him on the lips. Reaching down to the floor she picked up Jack’s discarded jumper. Pulling it down over herself, she climbed out of the bed and walked towards the bathroom. 

As she returned back from the bathroom she smiled, watching him she sat on the edge of the bed. She ran her fingers down his face softly, not wanting to startle him. He was always so peaceful when he slept. Taking her hand away, in fear of waking him she spun the ring around her finger.

“Mrs Hodgson,” she whispered to herself, grinning from ear to ear.


	12. Chapter 12

It was the morning after Jack had unintentionally proposed to Nikki, or did Nikki technically propose to Jack? I don’t suppose they would argue about it much, they were engaged now and they weren’t even living together yet. But, that was obviously about to change. Jack was the first to wake up, glancing over to Nikki who was sleeping soundly. Not a care in the world. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him. Her left hand was resting on his chest. He looked down at it, staring at the ring that reflected the sunlight.

He could feel the adrenaline surge through his body, it was going to take a while for this whole situation to sink in. If he went back seven years ago and told himself that one day he would actually be - almost - living and engaged to Nikki, he would never have believed it. He reached out and ran his finger along hers, feeling it under his skin made his heart jump.

Goosebumps erupted over his body as he felt Nikki stir next to him. He snapped his head to look at her but she was yet to open her eyes but the smile that was spread across her face gave away the fact that she had woken up. Jack’s face was quickly mirroring hers, his throat feeling tight as he drank in her features. He had finally got one of the things he’d always wanted, he was able to wake up to her beautiful face in the mornings.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, her voice croaky, making the grin on Jack’s face spread even further.

“How much this ring suits you,” he breathed. “And how lucky I am to have you lying next to me.”

“Shut up,” she chuckled, pushing her face into his chest.

“What? Am I not allowed to appreciate my fiance?” He retorted.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you calling me that,” she finally opened her eyes and leaned her chin onto Jack’s chest, gazing up at him. “How long do you think it will take for Sam to notice the ring?”

He gave her a funny look, “She’s a forensic pathologist Nikki, something tells me she’s going to see it straight away. Besides, you can hardly miss it can you?” He picked her hand up in his and ran his finger over the ring again. “It is quite eye catching.”

He watched as her face contorted, she was thinking about something else, “What else is on your mind?” He asked.

She sighed, “I don’t know. I was just wondering what Leo would be saying right now. Do you think he would’ve been happy for us?”

Jack’s arm that was still wrapped around her tightened, holding her closer to him, “Of course he would’ve been. He’d be over the moon to be able to walk you down the aisle. I hope you’re not thinking otherwise?”

Nikki shook her head, “I never could be sure of what was going on in his head. He always seemed to be happy for me when things happened but he always had that look in his eye that I could never quite determine what it meant,” she paused, taking a moment to gather her thoughts. “When something happened between me and Harry, I think he approved of what was going on but, like I said, he had that look. It’s like he knew it wasn’t going to work out. He had that kind of look when you came onto the scene but it wasn’t disapproving, do you get what I mean?” Jack simply nodded not wanting to interrupt her flow because she clearly hadn’t finished making her point. “Did he know that you and I were going to end up together? Or did he just know that we were going to work well together?”

Jack shrugged, “I can’t know that and neither can you. If you want to believe that he thought that to bring you some comfort then go ahead. You always said that Leo was like a father to you so it’s not surprising that he would know what or even who was good for you,” he stopped, watching her reaction. He couldn’t quite judge it so carried on, “When did you have time to think about all of this?”

“I’m always thinking about Leo,” she started. “He’s always on my mind but it was just when I was lying here last night, I couldn’t stop the thoughts running round my head. You were asleep and I didn’t want to wake you up with my nightly thoughts. I suppose I just want to know what he’d say. Which is funny because I didn’t think of my actual father. I rarely think of him.”

“You never really talk about your parents,” he pointed out, hoping that he wasn’t crossing the line but she seemed to not mind so far. “What actually happened to them?” Nikki’s face dropped and he could see the tears forming in her eyes, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I understand that it’s a part of your life that you want to keep to yourself but sometimes it helps to get things off your chest.”

“No,” she interrupted him. “I want to talk about it. It’s just hard for me sometimes, to come to terms with it all. I lost my mother when I was fourteen, not that much older than Daisy really. And it broke me. I was stuck with my father who I hated so much. He abused my mother for years and he tried to take our money and left us. Then when she died, I had to go to him and he brought me over here. As soon as I was old enough to get away from him and live my life I grabbed that opportunity with everything I had. I got myself a degree and made a name for myself, until he got himself arrested for fraud and tried to reach out to me. Then my grandmother died and that was it. He wouldn’t leave me alone. All he ever talked about was wanting to rekindle our relationship. He said he was sorry but he wasn’t, he just wanted me to free him of his guilt and I wouldn’t do that, I couldn’t do that,” she tried her hardest to hold back the tears but a few escaped, resulting in Jack reaching out and wiping them away, keeping his hand on her cheek. Her hand came to rest on top of his.

“When I was told that he had passed away I felt nothing,” she continued. “At first anyway. I felt something eventually but I could never forgive him for ruining my life and destroying my mother. I can’t change what he did and deep down I suppose I do love him in some way. He’ll always be my father but that doesn’t make him any more of one. Leo was the father I never had and I will forever be grateful to him for providing me with the love that I never got. I just hope when we have kids, _if_ we do, that I will be able to be there for them and love them better than my father ‘loved’ me.”

Jack stayed silent, digesting all the information and trying to think of what the best thing was to say, “Woah,” was all he could muster. His thumb circled her cheeks, wiping away her tears again. “Do you ever miss being in South Africa?” He questioned, wanting to distract her somewhat from what was clearly distressing her.

“Sometimes,” she breathed. “It was a completely different way of life over there Jack. I’d go back and visit my old friends more often but every time I’m over there I’m just reminded of her. Everything over there just makes me think of my mother and it breaks my heart. I would do anything to bring her back, just to have her with me,” she let the tears fall freely now, no point trying to keep them in by now.

Jack’s hand travelled to the back of her head and gently pushed her in his direction, their lips connecting in the middle briefly. He pulled away, Nikki’s head dropping and laying on top of his chest again. He engulfed her in his arms and held her tightly as the sobs wracked her body. His fingers caressed her skin under the jumper of his that she was wearing. They stayed like that for a while, enjoying the silence.

“How about I go and make some breakfast for us? If I stay in this bed with you any longer I won’t want to leave it and I don’t fancy being the one to tell Professor Ryan why you and I haven’t turned up for work today,” he winked at her causing her to giggle. He smiled down at her, satisfied that he had cheered her up despite her pouring her heart out to him not half an hour ago.

“That sounds lovely,” Nikki mumbled, her eyes drooping. Jack groaned as he pulled the blanket from over his legs and sat on the edge of the bed. He grabbed a pair of boxers from the drawer and set about putting them on. He looked over his shoulder at Nikki who had closed her eyes, a smirk on her face. Shaking his head, he stood up and headed to the kitchen.

After filling the kettle up he switched it on and placed two mugs on the counter, spooning a teaspoon of coffee in one and a teabag in the other. As he waited for the kettle to boil he sprayed a pan with oil and cracked two eggs. He then placed two pieces of bread in the toaster. By this time, the kettle had boiled and he poured the hot water into the mugs before topping them up with milk. He turned his attention back to the eggs that were ready to flip.

“You took your time,” he called out,  
feeling Nikki’s presence in the room. “Can you butter the toast and grab two plates please?”

“Sure thing,” she replied, following her orders and reaching up for two plates in the cupboard before placing the fresh toast on them and buttering them. Jack was quick behind her and set the eggs on top of the toast. He finished off their drinks and carried them to the table as Nikki carried the plates.

They ate their breakfast in silence before Jack gathered up the dishes and started washing them. He grinned as he felt Nikki come up behind him and wrap her arms around his waist. He felt himself shiver as her lips touched his skin. It wasn’t long before he had finished washing the dishes and was turning around in her arms so he could face her.

“You know what you said earlier? Did you really mean that?” He pondered.

Nikki’s eyebrows knitted together, not quite sure what he was getting at, “What are you talking about?”

“Me and you having kids together,” he searched her eyes, wondering how she was taking it. “You mentioned it yesterday but I just thought you were caught up in the moment but then you said it again earlier and I just wanted to know if it was on your mind and if it was something you were seriously thinking about?”

“I’d never given it much thought until last year, when I had that scare with Matt,” she frowned, getting the feeling that her and Jack weren’t quite on the same page with this subject. “Ever since then I can’t get it off my mind. I want a family Jack. I know what’s between us is new and this is a massive step and I’m not saying right now but I don’t exactly have much time left, do I?” She swallowed the lump in her throat, determined to not cry for the second time this morning.

He placed his hands on her arms, noticing that she was getting upset, “How about we give it at least a year? See where we go from there?”

Nikki’s face relaxed, her lips twitching into a smile again, “So you’re not opposed to the idea?”

“Of course I’m not,” Jack chuckled, leaning down, his lips brushing hers. “I thought we’ve had this conversation before anyway? You know I want kids.” His lips collided with hers once again. His hand reaching round to the back of her neck, bringing her closer to him, deepening the kiss. He pulled back from her before things got too carried away. “I love you.”

Nikki reached up on her tip-toes, pecking him on the lips, “When are you going to tell your dad?”

“Tonight probably,” Jack answered. “Come on, we best get ready for work.”


	13. Chapter 13

It was nearly eight o'clock when Jack pulled up into the car park of the Lyell Centre. He looked over to Nikki who hadn't taken her eyes off him for the whole journey. He'd told her multiple times to stop staring because it was starting to make him feel uncomfortable to which she had simply told him that she was just excited and overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours.

He unclipped his seatbelt giving himself some freedom. He leaned over the threshold, capturing her lips with his. He smiled into the kiss as he felt Nikki's palm coming to rest on his cheek. He pulled away from her, his eyes searching hers. Wrapping his fingers around her wrist he ran his thumb along the back of her hand. He tilted his head further into her palm, just enjoying the feeling of her skin against his, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"We best get in there before I change my mind and drive us back home so we can spend the rest of the day together. Just us two," Jack joked, winking at her.

Nikki's lips twitched fondly. "Don't tempt me," was her reply before she dropped her hand and pushed the car door open. She waited for Jack to join her as she stood at the front of the car. He was quickly next to her, threading his fingers through hers, wanting to be close to her again. They both made their way into the lab. As they got into the offices they reluctantly let their fingers loosen and that contact between the two of them was lost again.

Jack settled down in his chair and turned his computer on, Nikki's movements in sync with his as she sat opposite him. They were both already pulling out the paperwork that they were going to have to deal with today, every now and then stealing glances from each other. Every time Nikki caught Jack's eye, she could feel her heart swell and her stomach flutter in ways she couldn't describe.

She did briefly wonder if that feeling would fade out eventually, that she would just get used to it in the end. But as that thought flashed across her mind, Jack's eyes had connected with hers and she quickly realised that she would never get used to that feeling. And if she really dug deep into her thoughts, she supposed that he had been making her feel this way for seven years already and she doubted that it would stop now. If anything, those feelings would just grow even more.

It wasn't long before Sam was rushing through the entrance, three coffees sitting on a small tray.

"Sorry I'm late," she exhaled. Placing the tray down on Nikki's desk. "Got stuck in traffic. This one is for you Nik-" She stopped as she pulled one of the cups out, spotting the ring that was sat on Nikki's finger, the light of the room bouncing off it.

Nikki looked up at Sam, then following her gaze. A beam spreading across her face.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow as she flicked her head between Jack and Nikki.

"Well it didn't go how I was expecting it to go," Jack started. "It just sort of happened."

"Jack needs to find better places to hide things," Nikki interrupted, casting a wink in Jack's direction.

Sam smiles as she watches the interaction between the pair, "Congratulations. I'm really happy for the both of you. You deserve it."

"You're for the first person we've told actually," Nikki pointed out, taking her cup of coffee and sipping it.

"Oh well now I do feel honoured," Sam laughed as she laid her hand across her chest. She reached down and handed Jack his coffee now, he accepted it from her appreciatively. Sam turned to Nikki once again. "Nikki, I was wondering if you wanted to join me in a minute. We've been asked to do a second post mortem and it would be great if I could get some second opinions. I think it'll help, especially if our findings match that of the first PM."

"Of course."

"Great, ten minutes?"

Nikki nodded, watching as Sam left, heading towards her office. Nikki lifted herself from her chair, bringing her to her feet. She walked around the desks coming to stand behind Jack. She rested her hands on top of his shoulders, gently massaging them. She grinned as Jack relaxed under her touch and leaned his head back so he could look up at her.

Jack soon reached up, taking hold of one of her hands so he could spin around in his chair. He was now facing her. His eyes travelled up and down her body, reminding himself of just how honoured he was to be able to call this woman in front of him his fiance. The smile spread across her face as he noticed the blush creeping up her neck under his gaze. He loved that he could make her feel like just by looking at her.

"I love you," fell from his mouth.

The grin hadn't left her face as she cupped his face in her hands. She leaned down to him, her lips brushing his. Jack's hands came to grip at her waist before moving down to rest on the back of her thighs as she pulled away from him.

"I love you too," she reached out, running her thumb across his lips as she realised that she had left a slight lipstick mark behind.

And with that she was gone, making her way towards the changing room. She was going to have to start biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from smiling so much. She felt as though she was on some sort of drug, whatever drug that may be. She was happy. She was elated. She felt like she was truly on top of the world. Turning the key to the door of her locker she pulled her scrubs out and changed out of her clothes. As she put her clothes back into the hold, she took her earrings out. Gazing down at her finger next and as much she didn't want to take it off she knew she had to. She twisted it off her finger and gently placed it on top of her neatly folded clothes.

She jumped as she heard Sam's voice, pulling her from her thoughts. She closed her locker door before turning around to face Sam who had already got changed and was raring to go.

"How come we're doing a second post mortem then?" Nikki questioned, curious. It wasn't uncommon for them to be asked to do another PM but Nikki always liked to know what she was getting herself into, even if it was in just an observational capacity.

Sam sighed as she washed her hands in the sink, "Family think it's suspicious. That she may not have died of natural causes like the first PM would suggest." She was now drying her hands before pulling the gloves over her hands.

"Well if she didn't die of natural causes then how do they think she died?"

"She'd been in hospital for quite a while, from what I can gather from her notes. The family seems to think that the hospital is to blame for her death," she paused. "Want to sue them for neglect."

Nikki nodded slowly, "Ah." In a way she was glad now that she wasn't involving herself directly. There was nothing worse than having to deal with an emotional family who wants to find an explanation as to why they have lost their loved one unexpectedly.

"It's going to be a tough one," Sam continued. "You know that as much as I do. But we can only find what we can find. And lucky for you, it'll be me having to deal with the family afterwards."

"Well the sooner we get on with it the sooner it will be over," Nikki smiled softly as she followed behind Sam into the morgue. They had their little routine, Nikki would walk around to the right side of the body whilst Sam remained on the left. Sam started reeling off the information and anything that stood out to her as Nikki wrote down the details in the notes.

After an external examination, Sam began the internal examination. The jars containing all that was necessary to investigate were already laid out in front of her. She started off by inspecting the heart. Weighing it first before dissecting further into it.

"So, this thing between you and Jack seems to be going well," Sam spoke, breaking the silence.

Nikki's lips twitched, "Yeah. Almost too well I think sometimes."

"Things seem to be moving very quickly," Sam remarked as she opened up the heart. She looked over in Nikki's direction which caused her to walk around to the same side as Sam. "I would most definitely say that the cause of death was heart attack wouldn't you?"

"Definitely," Nikki agreed before returning to what Sam had said in regards to her relationship with Jack. Which, coming from Sam, seemed odd. From what Nikki could gather, Sam was the one who encouraged it so it was weird that she, all of a sudden, didn't approve of it. "Me and Jack have known each other for such a long time now. Almost feels like a lifetime. This thing between us, it makes sense that it's moving so fast. We've waited long enough for it."

"Oh no I'm not disapproving at all. I am really happy for the both of you," Sam defended herself as she moved on to inspect the lungs to further back up her initial theory. "I just want to make sure that you know that you're making the right decision. I know what it feels like to be caught up in a whirlwind romance and sometimes you can be blind to things. You may think that it is the best thing you can do but often, it's the worst. I think what I'm saying is take your time and don't rush."

Nikki took everything in. She had come to greatly respect Sam's opinion, even if at times she didn't agree with it. Sometimes Nikki needed to be reminded that she had to take a step back and think things through, she often lost her head in these things. Especially when she thought back on her past encounters, it really didn't take her long to fall in love and she so wanted Jack to be different. And maybe he was but maybe she was rushing into things.

She shrugged, "Maybe you're right. But I really do love him Sam and what we have is so different from what I've had with anyone else. And that terrifies me but I wouldn't change it for the world."

"You seem very sure of yourself so chances are you know what you're doing," Sam smiled. "We'll have to celebrate at some point though."

Nikki's face mirrored Sam's. They finished up their post mortem without saying anything more on the topic of Nikki and Jack. They investigated everything in as much detail as they possibly could. And from their findings they were able to come to the same conclusion of that of the first PM. And now Nikki was even more thankful that she didn't have to deal with the family.

Sam and Nikki were soon walking back into the changing rooms together. Just as Nikki was putting her earrings back into her ear and placing the ring back onto her finger, Sam had come out from getting changed also.

"Wonder how they're going to take it," Nikki breathed, already knowing the answer but just wanted to make conversation.

Sam just pulled a face, not ready for the backlash that she was going to receive from the family for this, "Wish me luck." Then Sam was gone, leaving Nikki alone for a moment. She played with the ring on her finger, revelling in the feeling of how it sat there. Sam had made a point earlier, not one Nikki could totally disagree with but there was one thing that Nikki did know. She loved Jack with every fibre of her being and what was going on right now was just them making up for lost time. They had waited too long and they deserved to be happy and excited.

Letting out a sigh, she made her way back to the offices. Back to Jack once again. He had barely moved from when she left him not that long ago and he seemed to still have his head stuck in some boring paperwork. She chuckled at him, she knew how much he hated this side of things. It didn't suit Jack at all, he liked getting his teeth stuck into something. Something he could really focus on, something that really got his blood pumping.

Nikki didn't mind the paperwork so much, it allowed her to have a break from all the tough cases they worked on. She used it as something to take her mind off everything. But there were times she absolutely hated it and would much rather have something that exercised her mind thoroughly.

She was soon sitting down at her desk, opposite Jack. He flicked her eyes up to her as she settled down in her chair, making herself comfortable once again.

"How'd it go?" Jack asked, dropping his pen, giving Nikki his full attention.

Nikki leaned back on her chair, "I'm just grateful that it's Sam having to deal with the family and not me."

"That bad?"

Nikki exhaled a breath, "Let's just say that what we found matched that of the first PM and that's not the outcome they were expecting or hoping for."

"You can only find what you can find, don't beat yourself up," Jack reassured her. Nikki's eyes snapped up to him as she realised what he had said. Jack's eyebrows knitted together, confused as to why she had that expression on her face. "What?"

Nikki shook her head, "Sam said the same thing."

"Well you know what they say, great minds think alike," Jack beamed.

"You wish," Nikki scoffed as she signed into her computer and made a start on the paperwork she was going to work on before Sam had called her to do the post mortem.

Jack feigned shock, leaning forward on his desk. He gazed over at her, he couldn't stop the smirk spreading across his face. She really was something else and he really was the luckiest man on the planet.

"I rang my dad earlier," he started. "He's expecting us around eight. I said I'd bring food and drinks so we'll have to go to the shop on the way there."

"Have you told him why we're coming?" Nikki questioned.

"No of course not, couldn't tell him the good news without his future daughter in law being there now could I?" he winked watching the blush appear on Nikki's cheeks for the second time that morning.


	14. Chapter 14

It felt like they had been in work only five minutes before they were packing the stuff away and pulling their coats on to prepare for the outside world. It had been a reasonably quiet day besides from when the family had arrived to talk to Sam. Jack had made himself scarce by buying everyone some lunch. Nikki hung around, should she need to step in at any moment to back up Sam’s points. But Sam handled it pretty well and with a lot of care. 

Nikki often wondered where this woman had been all her life and how it was just by chance they hadn’t met before now. It was like Sam was the mother she never had, in many ways like how Leo was the father she never had. Sam had much of the same ideals and believed in them as passionately as her. The way she used the family’s grief to try and explain to them how sometimes, some things don’t have a reason. They are just that. It doesn’t make things right of course, but it can’t be helped. It wasn’t too dissimilar from how Nikki would have approached the situation. 

She had joined Sam after the family left, walking in with a cup of tea and placing it on her desk. 

“Jack shouldn’t be too long with the food,” Nikki breathed. “How are you feeling?” She asked, watching Sam’s face. She was yet to learn how to read it but then she supposed that other people had felt the same about her. 

Sam shrugged, “I’ve been better. I just know how it feels to want an answer so desperately and going to great lengths to get it. Only to be disappointed by the outcome. But I seemed to get through to them, so hopefully they’ll let her body rest and they’ll find peace.” 

Nikki smiled fondly, “Well I think you handled them very well from what I could tell and I’m sure they’d have appreciated what you’ve done for them.” 

Sam nodded, her face matching Nikki’s. They stayed quiet for a moment, neither quite knowing what to say. But it wasn’t long before Sam was breaking the silence, “Nikki what I was saying earlier, I hope you don’t take it the wrong way. I really am happy for the both of you. But I’ve come to care for you two and I would hate to see what you have being ruined.” 

“And I really do appreciate your concern, I mean that,” Nikki sighed. “But whatever is going on right now, just feels so right and I’ve never felt happier.”

“You know where I am, if you ever need me though,” Sam spoke, taking a sip of her tea. 

They were quickly interrupted by Jack coming into the office with a bag full of food. He handed sandwiches out to everyone, along with a few other things. He sat down on the sofa as Nikki remained in the chair opposite Sam as they ate through their lunch in silence. They had then got on with their day, organising paperwork and catching up on any reports. 

Nikki and Jack had soon returned back to Jack’s apartment to get changed ready to meet up with Conor in a couple of hours. They had still yet to actually start packing up their stuff to move into Nikki’s house but with everything that had happened in such a short space of time they hadn’t quite managed to figure everything out yet. 

Considering they were only going to Jack’s dad they decided to not dress up fancy but because there was a sense of occasion, Nikki chose to put on one of her smarter dresses. Although Jack had spent most of the time leading up to when they had to leave trying to persuade her out of it. To which she kept having to tap him on the hand for. 

Thankfully she didn’t have to put up with his teasing for too long as they had to leave earlier to go to the shops and pick up some food anyway. And before they knew it they were in the elevator ready to see him. 

Jack glanced over to Nikki who was exhaling a breath and he could see that she was starting to pick at her fingers. Reaching out, he weaved his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand. His lips twitched as she looked over at him, her hand tightening around his. He placed his free hand on her cheek, turning to face her. Leaning down his lips brushed hers.

“Don’t know why you’re so worried. He gave me the ring, remember,” he whispered softly, his eyes catching hers. 

Nikki gripped onto his hand, “I can’t help it. I’m scared that he won’t like me anymore or that he’ll disapprove of us f-”

She was interrupted by Jack’s lips on hers once again, but there was more meaning behind this kiss. Jack wasn’t always a man of very many words so Nikki was having to map out the reasons behind his actions. Right now, it was a mixture of him trying to distract her so she would shut up and a reminder that she was overthinking things and being daft. She supposed that she didn’t mind so much that Jack was using this technique as a way of taking her mind off things. And it did always work. 

She grinned as she felt his arm snaking around her waist, just like it always did. Pulling her closer, he dropped her hand only to bring his own up and rest on the back of her head. His tongue ran along her bottom lip as the kiss deepened, completely forgetting where they were, just getting lost in each other’s arms. Bringing them back to reality was the ping of the elevator and the doors consequently opening, followed by a cough from someone waiting outside. 

Jack had quickly dropped Nikki from his arms, suddenly feeling very hot and he was sure that his face had turned bright red. He nodded to the man before taking Nikki by the hand and guiding her out of the elevator. 

He tried to hide his chuckle as her face was still full of shock and just like his, was a completely different colour to what it usually was. She brought her hand up to her mouth, her eyes still wide as she looked up at Jack. 

“That’s never happened to me before,” she grinned. 

Jack rolled his eyes in response, “Now I refuse to believe that Dr Alexander. From what I’ve experienced so far, you don’t shy away from public displays of affection,” he winked, moving to rest his hands on her waist once again. He captured her lips in his, smiling as she placed her hand on his arm. 

But she was pushing him away again, “I thought we were meant to be going to see your dad. We are late enough as it is. He’s probably wondering where his food has gone.” 

Jack plucked the bag from her hand, “You were the one having a freak out, I thought you needed some calming down.” 

“Calming down Jack, not trying to convince me to go home,” Nikki scoffed, gently tapping him on the arm, a smile dancing on her lips. “Now come on.” She had laced her hand in his hand as they made their way towards the door leading to Conor’s flat. 

He knocked loudly on the door before gazing over to Nikki who was letting out a breath again, the nerves she had let go of earlier quickly making a comeback. He felt as her hand tightened when his father opened the door. 

“Da,” Jack beamed. 

Conor’s eyes flicked between the pair now stood in front of him, his attention being grabbed instantly by the glint of a ring on Nikki’s finger. A ring that he recognised straight away. His heart dropped as he came to the realisation of why these two were currently on his doorstep and had arranged to meet him. The smile erupted on his face and he could feel the tears forming in his eyes. 

“Congratulations,” was all he let out as he pulled Jack into a hug first. Resting his hand on his cheek. “My son,” and then he was engulfing Nikki, holding on to her as the tears fell. He backed away from the pair, “Come on in,” he beckoned them in with his hand, leading the way into the flat. 

Jack was the first to follow, with Nikki a beat behind, wiping at her own cheeks. Jack placed the bag of shopping down on the counter as he watched his dad walk around the kitchen, a bottle that looked like whisky in one hand and expertly held three small glasses in the other. He was quick to pour them and passed them out before they clinked the glasses. 

“To you two,” he chimed as they all took a sip of their drinks. He swallowed the liquid before continuing, “So, how did my lump of son ask you?” 

Nikki chuckled, glancing up to Jack who just sighed before looking back at Conor, “Well he didn’t really,” she paused, gauging a reaction from the older man. “I sort of found the ring first. No, Jack dropped it when he left the car and I seen it on the seat and well-”

“It just happened,” Jack finished for her. “She had said yes before I’d even had the chance to ask her.”

Conor shook his head, his lips twitching, “You can’t do  _ one _ thing, can you son?” He joked as Jack raised his eyebrows at him. “Right, what have you brought for food then I’m starving.” 

They all teamed up together as they whipped themselves up a light dinner that didn’t take too long. And they tucked into it quietly as they all sat around the small table, which wasn’t particularly ideal for the three of them, but it was in a flat made to only fit one person. 

Nikki’s eyes flitted over to Jack before back to Conor as it sunk in just how real everything going on was and how she couldn’t be any happier, “I’ve been meaning to ask something actually,” she spoke breaking the silence and causing Jack to snap his head up to look at her, his face full of confusion. Whatever she was about to say, she hadn’t previously discussed it with him before. “I haven’t mentioned this to Jack yet but I was hoping that with my actual father not being with me anymore. And Leo no longer being with us,” she stopped feeling the tears blurring her sight as Jack placed a gentle hand on her thigh, circling his thumb over her skin. 

“I wanted to know, if you wouldn’t mind,” she continued. “Walking me down the aisle, whenever it is we decide to do it.”

Conor reached out, holding Nikki’s hand in his, a fond smile on his face, “I’d love to,” he breathed, the tears falling down his cheek, his accent thick. “It would be an honour.”

“I think that calls for another drink,” Nikki grinned as she gathered up the plates and headed towards the kitchen. 

Jack looked over to his dad as he watched the smile drop, there was a sense of worry in his face and he knew instantly that there was something his dad wasn’t telling him, “What’s wrong da?” 

Conor shook his head, “I don’t want to ruin your night.” 

“It can’t be that bad,” Jack scoffed. “Come on, what’s happened?”

“I went to the hospital the other week,” he started. Jack felt his heart drop, he didn’t like the sound of where this was going. “I found a lump. So I went to get it checked out. They got the results and it’s cancer. And it’s not great, they want to try and start me with chemo but they don’t know how effective it will be. It might just buy me more time but apart from that I don’t know how much longer I’ve got left.” 

Jack dropped his head, clasping his hands together as he rested his elbows on the table. He couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing, it didn’t feel real. He’d never been all that close to his dad until recently, with everything that had happened. And now he had actually built up some sort of relationship with him, he could be ripped away from him in a matter of months. 

“It’s why I gave you the ring son,” Conor exhaled, stopping as he heard Nikki making her way back to them. “Don’t tell her tonight, don’t want to burst that bubble.” 

Jack had spent the remainder of the night trying to swallow the lump in his throat that just wasn’t disappearing. He had watched as his father and Nikki interracted, as though they had known each other their whole lives. He could see now why his father had encouraged him to propose to her, she was perfect and his dad probably wanted to see his son settle down and start his own family just as he was losing his. He was going to have to have that conversation with Nikki tonight whether he liked it or not, she had said that she didn’t want to get married for another couple of years yet. But with the revelation tonight those couple of years would have to turn into a couple of months. Especially if Nikki wanted his dad to walk her down the aisle. 

It wasn’t long before they were in the car on the way back to Jack’s apartment. Nikki had picked up on his change of behaviour pretty quickly and had asked him if everything was okay but he had simply brushed it off, saying that he was just tired and there was nothing to worry about. When they got home, Jack had jumped into the shower straight away and went to bed as soon as he got out. Nikki had pondered about in the kitchen, wondering what the hell had gotten into him from the time they got to his fathers to the time they had left. 

A slither of doubt flashed across her mind that maybe he was having second thoughts about it all and announcing it to his dad was what made him realise that. But then if Jack had any problems then surely he would talk to her about it, they talked about everything with each other after all. She walked towards the bedroom, hoping that he was awake so they could talk about it but he was fast asleep. Feeling a wave of exhaustion washing over she got changed and joined him under the covers. 

The next time she woke up must’ve been three in the morning, she hadn’t bothered to check the time. She had sat up instantly when she’d seen that Jack was no longer in the bed next to her. Pulling the blankets from her over her, she lifted her body from the bed. Her bare feet connected with the cold wood of the floor. She could see the small light coming from under the door. Walking towards it, she opened it only to reveal Jack sat on the sofa, his cheeks damp from tears. 

Her heart sunk as she took in his silhouetted figure, “Jack,” she let out softly. He jumped, glancing up to her. She made her way over to him as quickly as her legs would let her. She sat on the sofa with him, pulling his body against hers, clutching at him tightly as the sobs wracked his body. She subconsciously rocked him gently as she ran her hand up and down his bare skin. “What’s happened?” She asked, hearing the cries subsiding. 

“It’s my da,” Jack spoke, his voice unsteady. “He’s dying Niks.” 

Nikki pulled away from him, her hands coming to land on either side of his face, “What? How? When?” All the thoughts racing through her head. 

“Cancer,” he sighed. “He told me earlier when you went into the kitchen. He’s known for weeks, it’s why he gave me the ring. Probably wanted me to live my life to the fullest, or settle down whilst he was still around to watch.”

“Oh Jack,” Nikki breathed, wrapping her arms around him once again as the tears started falling. “What treatments are they giving him?”

“They said they wanted to start him on chemo but they’re not sure how effective it’s going to be yet,” Jack answered, gripping onto Nikki as hard as he could, as if she was going to disappear if he let her go. 

“But that’s a start,” she carried on, trying desperately to not to say the wrong thing. “Did he say when his first treatment was going to be?” Jack just shook his head. “Well why don’t you find out tomorrow and you can go with him to his appointment. I think he’d like that and you’d get to spend more time with him.” 

“I’m not sure I’d cope seeing him lying there with all the tubes,” his voice was hoarse now and he could feel his throat growing sore. 

“Well there’s not much you can do about it right now,” she said, matter of factly. Hoping that she wasn’t coming across as blunt but she knew she was going to have to be the level headed one at the moment. “Let’s go to bed and we can talk about this properly in the morning. You might not think you’ll be able to manage seeing him like that but if you don’t spend this time with him while you can, trust me, you’ll regret it. Get some sleep and you’ll have a clearer head in the morning.” 

Jack reluctantly nodded, he knew that she was right. She had snaked her hand through his, leading him towards the bedroom. She got in first, him shortly after. But this time, Nikki pulled Jack to rest his head on her chest as she wrapped her arm around him. 

“You don’t have to deal with this on your own,” she whispered. “I’m going to be here with you the whole time, I’m not going anywhere.” She planted a kiss on the top of his head as the arm that was lying across her waist tightened in appreciation. 


	15. Chapter 15

It was the next morning when Jack pulled himself out of bed, although he hadn’t actually got that much sleep. Most of the night had been spent staring up at the blank ceiling whilst Nikki lied next to him peacefully. He had tried to concentrate on the sound of her breathing in and out in an attempt to distract him from his thoughts. But there was nothing stopping the cogs turning around in his brain. 

Walking into the kitchen, he filled the kettle up before switching it on. His eyes glanced over at the clock on the oven,  _ 7:46.  _ He sighed, bracing himself on the counter. This was going to be a tough day, he could already feel it. And this was only the start of it. He could feel his head pounding against his skull, his dad had been ill before but he was always fine in the end. But now, there was a chance he could actually lose him. And he knew what that felt like not too long ago and it nearly broke him. 

For weeks after that fateful day, Jack couldn’t wipe the image of Nikki and his father standing there at the window, unable to come in and be with him. Touch him. Comfort him. They were kept apart from him, the only form of contact through the phone lying on the bed next to him. It had been the best that they could do at the time but Jack would’ve given anything just to have had them sitting next to his bedside, with him in his possible last moments. If it wasn’t for Thomas his dad would’ve lost him that day. And now here he was a couple of months later and it’s going to be him losing his father. 

He knew the day would come eventually and he’d already lost his mother, it was just a matter of time. But the world had to be really sick and have this happen just when he thought he couldn’t be any happier. This time yesterday he was on top of the world. Engaged to someone he didn’t think he could love anymore than he already did. They were going to be moving in together soon as well. They really couldn’t let him have at least two days where something didn’t go wrong. But here he was, trying to think of ways to pull himself through what may be the hardest couple of months of his life. 

At least he had Nikki now. Of course, even if they weren’t together she still would’ve supported him endlessly. With everything that had happened she would go out of her way to do everything for him, she was just that sort of person. Selfless. But now that she was here, next to his side at every given opportunity, she’d be able to be there for him when he was at his lowest, just as she had been last night. He didn’t want to think about what would’ve happened if she wasn’t there, probably at hospital having to get his face stitched up. 

“Are you going to make a cup of tea or are you just going to stare at the counter?” A soft voice spoke, pulling him from his thoughts. He hadn’t even noticed that the kettle had finished boiling. He almost felt himself jump as she laid a hand on his arm. “Jack.” 

He looked over to her, his position on the counter meaning he wasn’t having to peer down to her. His lips twitched fondly. Her hand travelled down his arm coming to rest on top of his own hand, “Come on, what do you want?” She whispered. “Tea?” She offered when he didn’t answer. 

Jack nodded slowly, quickly missing the contact as she moved away from him to grab two cups from the cupboard. Wanting nothing more than to be close to her, Jack came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her petite frame and nuzzling his face into her neck, leaving behind gentle kisses. Nikki smiled as she leaned back into his chest. 

Turning around in her arms to face him, her hands cupped his cheeks. Reaching up, her lips brushed his before pulling back. Her eyes connected with his as her thumb ran along his cheek. “Jack, I was thinking,” she started. “I know we said that we would leave it for a couple of years but with what’s happened, I was wondering what you would think if we were to start planning this wedding for a little sooner?”

Her eyes searched for an answer but he wasn’t giving much away, “Are you sure?” Fell from his mouth. 

Nikki nodded, trying to gauge his reaction. At this point she couldn’t tell if he was on board with the idea or totally against it. She was hoping that it was the former but she had a pretty good feeling that she was right. Given the circumstances, there wouldn’t be much of a reason as to why he would say no to this idea. She got her answer from the tiny hint of a smile gracing his face. 

His lips were soon crashing into hers, taking her by surprise. Her hands travelled to land on his biceps in an attempt to steady herself as his mouth moved against hers. He released her eventually, breathing heavily as he gazed down at her. 

“I love you so much,” he breathed. “Thank you for that.” 

“I want him to be at this wedding as much as you and I know that this would be something that may cheer you up right now,” Nikki replied. “We don’t have to set a date right now of course but let’s just say a month and a half? We still have to start moving your stuff into mine so once that’s all sorted then we can concentrate on that.” 

“Sounds perfect,” Jack stole another kiss quickly before moving away from her. “I’m just going to ring my da’, tell him the news and see how he’s feeling this morning.” 

Nikki returned to making the two of them their drinks, calling out to Jack before he left the room, “Don’t forget to ask about his appointments.” 

* * *

It was a week later when Jack had officially moved in with Nikki. They had spent as much time as they could to get themselves organised and before they knew it they had packed all the stuff up and transferred everything over to Nikki’s house in no time. Although Nikki had to keep drumming it into Jack that it was no longer her house, but their house. In between the chaos of moving and work they managed to find some time to start the planning of their wedding. Neither wanted something over the top, just a few of the people that were the closest to them. 

They had settled on just having a registry office but they were yet to decide on a date. They needed something soon so Conor would still be able to attend - and would be well enough to give Nikki away and a date that would allow them to get enough time to get everything done. 

They had told Sam straight away about the situation who had instantly offered them some time off but they both refused. Both needing their job to ground them amongst their currently hectic lives. Although they had been pretty quiet at the Lyell, or at least Sam was taking on as much of the workload that she possibly could. And despite the job providing them a useful distraction it did allow them to sort everything out quicker than if the Lyell was a lot busier. 

Jack had pretty much been on the phone to his dad every five minutes, checking in on him to make sure that he was okay and taking the right medicine when he needed to. Nikki had found it quite endearing and it just went to show how much Jack really cared. Conor, on the other hand, had told him in not so many words to “bugger off” and to only call him if absolutely necessary. He was over the moon that they had moved the wedding forward though. It was one of wishes to see his son get married before he had to leave them - he wasn’t about to tell Jack that however. 

Nikki was now sitting at her table searching through ideas for what she could wear. She didn’t want some oversized, in your face wedding dress. Rather something that was a bit more classy, a bit more  _ her.  _ She hadn’t got far when Jack was coming up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder. 

He pointed a finger at one of the dresses on the screen, “I like that one,” he spoke. 

Nikki flicked her head to him, “Really? It’s quite expensive.”

“Anything for you,” Jack winked, pecking her on the lips before moving away from her. He walked around the kitchen, opening cupboards, peering into them in the hope of finding something he could snack on. 

Nikki gazed at the picture on the screen, it was a long flowing dress with all kinds of flowers decorating it. It wasn’t too dissimilar from dresses she already owned but this one was a lot more  _ high end.  _ It would have to be for the price it was going at. She noted down the name of the shop in the notepad that sat next to her, she would have to see in person before she made a decision. And luckily for her, the website she was looking at had a shop in London, she just had to hope that it was in stock there. 

“Have you thought of a date yet?” Nikki called out, continuing to scroll through the websites trying to find something that would be somewhat more within her price range.

Jack initially shook his head but quickly realised that Nikki wasn’t looking in his direction, “No,” he said. 

“How would you feel if I said two weeks today?” 

Jack furrowed his brow, “Really?” 

“Well, I may or not have already booked the registry office,” Nikki grinned, hoping that Jack wouldn’t protest too much about this. 

“You’ve done what?” Jack asked, slightly taken aback by this sudden news. He knew, of course, that this wedding was going to come a lot sooner than first imagined. But in two weeks time he was going to be married? He was shocked but not completely deterred by the idea. The only slight doubt that he had was that he knew Nikki. As much as he loved her and he was as sure that she loved him, she didn’t exactly have a good track record when it comes to relationships. 

She had walked away from a relationship more times than he had hot dinners. She always hated committing to something and  _ this  _ was a big commitment. She’d always reassured him that he was different to everyone else but how could he be sure that she wouldn’t just leave him because she’s scared. 

He just had to remind himself that it was Nikki who was suggesting all of this. She was really the one who asked him to marry her - or at least she had said yes before he had even asked. She was also the one who said to bring the wedding forward. Of course he had been thinking it and he had wanted to ask her what she thought but just like before she beat him to it. And now here she was, suggesting they actually go through with it all in two weeks time. 

Her voice was pulling him from his thoughts once again, “I know it’s all so sudden. Sorry Jack, I thought that it would be what you wanted, with everything that’s going on.” 

“No, no it was what I want,” Jack was quick to reassure her, making his way to sit on the chair next to her. He took hold of one of her hands in his own. “I just need to know that this is what you want. Don’t do it just because you think it will make me happy. I know we want to speed things up for the sake of my dad but  _ you  _ need to be ready as well. I don’t want you to rush into anything and then end up regretting it.” 

“Oh, Jack,” she rested her free palm on his cheek. “I’ve never been sure of anything in my life. And I know this is coming from how I’ve dealt with my relationships in the past. But please know that you are different to anyone I’ve ever been with. I love you Jack and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And no, I’m not saying that to make you happy or because it’s what you want to hear right now. I’m saying it because I mean it.” 

“Sorry,” Jack sighed. 

“Don’t apologise, you have every right to feel like that. You know me better than most and you know what I’m like,” she smiled gently. “I can only hope that what is going on right now is proof enough that I want to be with you and only you.” 

Jack leaned forward capturing her lips with his. 


	16. Chapter 16

“Yes I know it’s all so sudden,” Jack chuckled down the phone. “I don’t want to go into all the details right now but it’s next Sunday and I just hope that my best friend would like to be there.” 

“You would not be able to stop me from coming,” Clarissa replied. “Even if you tried.” 

“That’s what I wanted to ask you actually,” Jack started, glancing over to Nikki who was still wrapped up in all the blankets on their bed. “I was wondering, and I know it’s short notice, if you would like to be my best man. Or best woman whatever you want to call it.” 

“I’d thought you’d never ask,” he could almost hear her grinning. 

“Well I’ll leave you to start writing your speech,” he teased. “It better be a good one though, none of this soppy nonsense.” 

He imagined that he was probably rolling her eyes at him as she told him to “shut up” before she hung up. His eyes travelled back to Nikki who was smiling up at him. Edging forward, he crawled onto the bed so that he was now above her, peering down. His eyes searched hers for a moment before leaning closer to her, his lips capturing hers. Pulling away from her, his lips twitched. 

“One week to go until you’re officially Mrs Hodgson,” he winked. 

Nikki beamed as her hand snaked around to the back of his neck so she could bring him closer to her once again, their lips colliding in the middle. The moan escaped from the back of her throat as the kiss deepened and she could feel Jack’s hand travelling between their bodies. But she was quick to stop him with a hand on his wrist. 

His mouth left hers and he was frowning at her. 

“We’ve got to get to work,” she reminded him. “Unless you want us to be late again.” 

Jack sighed, pushing himself away from her and off the bed. They were soon getting dressed and were making their way to work. Once back in the Lyell Jack finished up on the work he had started the other day. He had only gone into work for half an hour before he had to take his da’ to the hospital. Nikki had told him that it was pointless but he was adamant on wrapping up the case he had been working on. A case that hadn’t involved Nikki so she was struggling to find something to do. 

She had tried to get on with some paperwork but there had been a thought niggling at the back of her mind all week, but she couldn’t be sure. Some of the symptoms were starting to happen but she had only really experienced this once before and she’d got it wrong then so she couldn’t be totally sure this time around.

Wanting to get a female's perspective on her worries she headed towards Sam’s office. She stood in the doorway, gently knocking on the glass of the door to get Sam’s attention. 

Sam flicked her head up, “Nikki,” she smiled softly, before dropping, picking up on the worry in Nikki’s face. “What’s up?”

Nikki shrugged, walking further into the room so she could sit down on the chair opposite Sam’s desk. Sam opened her mouth to speak but she was quickly interrupted by Jack popping his head into the room. 

“I’ve got to take my da’ to his appointment, I'll try not to be too long,” he announced.

“Of course, don’t worry about it,” Sam answered. “Good luck.” 

Nikki looked over her shoulder at him, giving him a reassuring smile before he was disappearing again. She waited until she was sure that he had gone before turning back to Sam. 

“Well?”

Nikki could feel her heart racing. It had been on her mind but she was yet to actually say it out loud to herself. She took a deep breath to steady herself, trying to find the best way to phrase what she was about to say. She could see that Sam was watching her, trying her best to work out what it was that she was going to come out with. 

“I think I might be pregnant,” she spoke quickly. She was surprised that Sam had even understood what she’d said but judging by the shocked look on her face she knew exactly what was going on. 

“Right,” Sam started. “Well I can’t say that I was expecting that. I assume you haven’t taken a test yet?”

Nikki shook her head, “I feel like everything is moving so fast. First the wedding and now there’s this. I thought we would’ve had more time in the middle. Just to be us, on our own, you know?” 

Sam nodded, “I know I’ve been telling you this whole time that you’re probably moving too fast but I think what’s happened in the past couple of weeks has shown just how well you and Jack work together. I think most people this soon in a relationship would’ve taken a break but you’ve stuck together and you’re closer now than you’ve ever been before. And I know I’m going to sound like a hypocrite but I do believe in things happening for a reason and if all of this is being piled on you right now, then I think that it’s for a reason. Maybe the universe knows that you finally deserve to be happy. And with everything that you and Jack have been through in the past couple of years, if there’s anyone who deserves happiness in this world then it’s the two of you.” 

Nikki listened closely, digesting everything Sam was saying. She supposed that she was right. From losing Leo to the whole fiasco of Mexico and then losing Thomas, and that’s not including all the stuff in between. Maybe now was the time that herself and Jack deserved some joy - although she wasn’t sure how much of that would last with Jack’s dad being in and out of hospital all the time now. But maybe they just had to cling on to these little rays of hopes. 

She couldn’t find the right words to say for the tears quickly forming in her eyes. The lump in her throat grew bigger as the tear slipped down her cheek. Sam had pulled out a box of tissues and had started handing them to Nikki who accepted them gladly, drying her cheeks. 

“Have you and Jack spoken about having children before?” she queried. “I assume it’s a question that’s come up in conversation before now.” 

“We’ve both said that we want to have children at some point in the future but we both agreed that it would be too soon if anything happened now,” Nikki breathed. “And with everything that’s going on at the moment I don’t want to pile more stuff on top of him.” 

“I’m sure that he won’t feel that way,” Sam comforted her, standing up so that she can walk around to the other side of her desk. She perched on the edge, reaching out to take hold of Nikki’s hand, squeezing it gently. “If anything, something like this would probably cheer him up right about now.” 

“Do you think?” 

Sam nodded, smiling, “Take a test. Tell him. It’s of course up to you whether you tell him before or after the wedding but take one just to be sure and so you can settle your mind.” 

Nikki took the next hour to calm herself, she was going to buy herself a test later. She had debated on whether or not just to go now but had decided against it. She needed to have a level head and she’d already worked herself up a lot that morning. 

It had just gone midday when Jack’s name was popping up on her phone. Worrying that it may have something to do with his dad, she had quickly swiped to answer the call. She had let a sigh of relief out when it was just Jack asking if she’d wanted to join him and his da’ for lunch. He had timed it perfectly somehow as her stomach was starting to grumble. She had walked into Sam’s office to okay it with her first but she had said yes before she could finish asking her the question. 

She was soon pulling up in a space not far away from the small cafe and she had spotted Jack and his da’ straight away. Not that it was ever a struggle for her. Their irish accents always stood out in a crowd to her and when they were together the level of their voices always seemed to increase slightly. It wasn’t that noticeable and she often wondered if they’d always been like that, when Jack was younger. He was never like around her or even in the time that she’d known him and she’d only realised it when he was around his dad. 

She could feel her stomach flutter as Jack’s eyes connected with hers. That feeling was never going to go away - or at least that’s what she hoped. He was already pulling a chair out for her before she was anyway near them and she couldn’t help the smile that was spreading across her face. 

As she sat down next to Jack, his arm had quickly wrapped around her waist and he was pulling her in for a kiss. 

“I know you’re getting married next week but can you not put her down for five minutes son,” Conor scoffed, looking away from the pair. Although the small smirk appearing on his face didn’t go unnoticed by the two of them. “So come on, Jack’s been quiet about all your plans so far. Said that he doesn’t want to tell me without you being here.” 

Nikki glanced over at Jack rolling her eyes at him, “Well there’s not much to tell really, it’s going to be a fairly small affair. It’s only going to be you, Sam, Clarissa and Max there. And well I imagine that it will be over pretty quickly but we were thinking about going to the pub afterwards, just for a few drinks.” 

“It’s going to be very lowkey,” Jack reiterated, the hand resting on her waist tightening. The goosebumps erupted on Nikki’s skin. She smiled to herself.

“What time?” Conor asked. 

“About two o’clock,” Jack spoke. “But we’ll pick you up on the way so you won’t have to worry about all that.” 

Just as Conor was about to speak the waiter was coming out with three plates of food. Nikki’s head snapped to face Jack but he had simply replied with “I knew what you would order so I went ahead and got it for you.” She just chuckled at him, a glint in her eye. 

Although the food that he had ordered for her looked delicious, she could only bring herself to eat a couple of mouthfuls. Jack eyed her plate before looking back up at her. She was on the pale side and if he really thought about it she hadn’t been acting totally like herself, as much as she was trying to. But he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. She was probably just stressed, this wasn’t exactly the ideal situation right now. And he had been so focused on his da’ he hadn’t taken a moment to ask if  _ she _ was okay. Or at least if she was okay within herself. 

They were soon finishing up on their food and were heading back to their cars. Stopping as they reached Nikki’s car first. Jack drawed her into a hug, embracing her tightly and planting a kiss on the top of her head. 

“Are you okay Niks?” he asked, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear as they pulled away from each other. “I know it’s all so hectic at the moment but if there was anything you wanted to talk to me about, I’m still here.” 

“I’m fine Jack,” she reassured him. “I’m just tired that’s all. I haven’t been sleeping well with everything on my mind. Once this wedding’s over I’ll be okay, I promise.” 

“I love you,” his lips twitched fondly. “Don’t forget that.”

“I love you too,” she reached up, her lips connecting with his. “Now go on, take your dad home and I’ll meet you back at work.” 

“I still think you would’ve made a good boss,” he winked. “Especially with that attitude.” And with that he was gone, making his way back to his own car. 

Nikki watched after him, waiting for him to leave so he didn’t see that she was going to head in the direction of town instead of going in her car. She didn’t even realise that her hand had travelled to rest on her stomach. It felt as though her heart had skipped a beat. She really hoped that she hadn’t got it wrong this time around. 

She already felt different from how she had felt before. But that could’ve been down to the fact that then she was with Matt and now she was with Jack and there was a different sense of love between the two situations. But she couldn’t pinpoint it. Shaking her head, she started making her way to the supermarket. 

Walking in she could feel her heart racing already and she wasn’t even in the right part of the shop yet. Looking up at the signs she quickly found the direction she was meant to be going in and it wasn’t long before she was standing in the right aisle. Her eyes scanned over all the different brands, who knew there were so many. She couldn’t even remember the one she had bought last time, she hadn’t even thought about it properly when she picked one up then. But this time around, she was finding it difficult.

She knew she was spending way too long staring at the boxes in front of her and she was definitely getting some funny looks of people. Closing her eyes, she reached out and picked one. Letting out a breath she headed back towards the counter so she could pay for it and go back to work as soon as possible. Luckily there wasn’t that much of a queue so she was in and out like a shot.

When she had finally got back to her car, she let out the sigh that she had been holding in. She twirled the box around in her hand before placing it on the passenger side and starting the car to drive back to work. As she pulled up in her regular spot, she realised that Jack wasn’t back yet and she couldn’t be more grateful. 

Not wanting to waste anymore time, she picked up the box and stuffed it into her pocket. Leaving the car she made her way through the entrance and headed for the bathroom straight away. She paced outside the stall for a moment, suddenly feeling very nervous and that was the last thing she needed to be right now. Once she felt as though she had calmed down she opened the door, locking herself in and set about taking the test. 

Now all that there was left to do was wait for the result. The instruction manual had said she had to wait at least three minutes for an accurate result and she just knew that it was going to be the longest three minutes of her life. She tried to pass the time by counting down the seconds but that seemed to make it worse. 

Her mind had wandered to Jack, she knew that he had said that he’d wanted children but what if he was just saying that to make her happy because she had said that she’d wanted children. But then she thought back to the conversation that they’d had when she had that scare with Matt and he had said even then that he wanted children but he just hadn’t found the right woman yet. Well, hopefully he had found the right woman now. She smiled at that. He had been waiting for her this whole time. If only she’d realised sooner, who knows what their lives would be like now. Although in a way she was glad that they had waited, it made everything feel that little bit more special somehow. 

With her mind occupied with him, the time had passed pretty quickly. The adrenaline surged through her veins as she held the white stick in her hand. She closed her eyes, too scared to look at it but she knew she was going to have to sooner or later. Sam had seen her coming in and she would start to question why she had been gone so long. 

She lifted the stick up so she could see it better. Her eyes settled on the small screen and she felt her heart drop. 


	17. Chapter 17

_ Negative.  _ She had got it wrong, again. She could feel the lump forming in her throat and the tears were blurring her vision. She couldn’t say she wasn’t disappointed, it may have been way too much way too soon but deep down, it would’ve been right. The fact that she had now had two scares and they’d both come back negative despite herself being so sure scared her. What if she couldn’t have children? What if she had left it just that little bit too late?

She held her head in her hands as the tears slipped down her cheeks. She couldn’t help but feel as though it was some kind sign, like she wasn’t meant to have children. That she didn’t deserve to. And how was she going to tell Jack? She thought she was pregnant but she wasn’t and now there’s a chance that she might not be able to conceive? He’d be disappointed that’s for sure. But knowing Jack he’d try his best to be okay with it but on the inside it’ll break him and that was the last thing he would need right now. 

Nikki shook her head, gripping onto her hair, she’d have to tell him after the wedding. He’d been so excited and so happy she couldn’t bear to think of letting him down now. But would that be fair? To trap him in a marriage first only to later reveal that they might be able to have children? Of course there were other ways of going about things but was he prepared to do that? Were they both prepared to do that?

She closed her eyes, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth, trying to calm the panic that was quickly rising up inside her. Standing back up, she wiped her tears away and left the bathroom stall. She placed the white stick in the bin and washed her hands before checking in the mirror that it wasn’t too obvious she had been crying. Satisfied that she looked okay she headed back to her desk, sitting down and pulling out some paperwork to try and distract herself. 

Sam looked out of her office. She had seen Nikki come in only to disappear for about ten minutes and return with a glum look on her face. It didn’t take long for the penny to drop and she was walking out of her office ready to comfort her. 

“Cup of tea?” Sam asked to which Nikki had simply nodded not quite finding her voice. Sam made her way to the kettle and set about making the two of them a drink each. She soon finished up and was setting the cup down on Nikki’s desk. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Nikki glanced up at Sam, taking a sip of the drink, “What is there to say? I got it wrong, _ again _ ,” she snapped. She regretted it the moment the words fell from her mouth, she hadn’t meant to be so blunt but she couldn’t help it. She was annoyed with herself, although she didn’t have much reason to be. If she couldn’t have children then it wasn’t something she could’ve controlled, she supposed that she hoped she found out sooner. “Sorry,” she added. 

Sam gave the smallest of smiles, resting her hand on top of Nikki’s, “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now,” she breathed. “I assume you didn’t mention anything to Jack when you met up with him earlier?”

Nikki shook her head, “It wasn’t really the time and I know I’m going to have to tell him about this now but I don’t know what to do,” she spoke, the tears quickly falling again. “What if I can’t have children? I can’t trap him in a marriage with the hopes of having children one day when in reality there’s going to be no chance of that. But this wedding is the only thing keeping him going at the moment with everything that’s going on with his father. I just don’t want to make things worse either way.” 

“You can’t be sure about any of that,” Sam reassured her. “For all you know it could’ve been a false negative, you have been getting some of the symptoms haven’t you?” 

Nikki shrugged, “It could just be stress, I am meant to be getting married next week after all. I haven’t exactly had a peaceful couple of weeks,” she pointed out. “But, I did only take one test so it is a possibility. Or, maybe it’s just too soon?”

“Could be,” Sam agreed. “Why don’t you leave it another week. Wait until after the wedding and try again? And if you do that, don’t just take the one test. Do a few, just to be sure.” 

“Thank you Sam,” Nikki’s lip twitched fondly. “It’s been so nice having you around. When Clarissa left I wasn’t sure of how I would cope without having another woman around here to keep me sane,” she chuckled. “I was so used to just having Harry and Leo to keep me company, I didn’t realise how much I needed it.” 

“And they’re not exactly the best company to have,” Sam winked, smirking. 

“You know I always imagined that it would be Leo walking me down the aisle,” Nikki sighed. “I don’t think I ever wanted it to be my dad, it wouldn’t feel right somehow. He was never there for me, unless it suited him. But Leo, as much as he didn’t like me saying it, was the only father figure in my life. The only person I could really and truly rely on. When we lost him I thought my life was over, I didn’t know how I was going to move on from that. And then I had to come back here and sort everything out and I couldn’t help but feel this anger. I was angry at him, angry at him for leaving me to deal with everything. Angry with him for being so trusting and such a good person all the time.” 

She paused, gathering herself. It wasn’t often that she spoke about Leo, it still hurt her, even now. “If I hadn't had Jack or Clarissa by my side then I don’t know what I would’ve done,” she continued. “They were my rocks. Jack would go out of his way just to make sure that I was eating and that I wasn’t pushing myself too hard. I wouldn’t have survived that period in my life if it wasn’t for the two of them.”

“Well in answer to your other question I think the two of you will be just fine, whatever happens,” Sam let out. “Jack loves you, a lot. And I really don’t think that something like this is going to come between you. Just get through the wedding and then talk to him about it, I’m sure you’ll both be okay in the end.” 

“Thank you, again,” Nikki reiterated. “It means a lot to me that you are here for me right now.” 

“I’m here any time,” Sam smiled. “And if I can be there for you in any way that Leo was then I’ve done the right thing. Now drink up your tea and concentrate on how exactly you’re going to walk down that aisle.” 

* * *

It was Sunday morning. The day of their wedding. Neither of them had gotten that much sleep, the pair too excited for the day ahead of them. They had spent most of the night talking to each other. Although Nikki hadn’t found the right moment to bring up what she had wanted to. She’d been so desperate to talk through it with him, he had the right to know after all but she wanted to wait until after the wedding. She wasn’t sure of how he would react and she would much rather he walked away from her afterwards than before, to save the embarrassment of being left at the altar. 

However this  _ was  _ Jack she was dealing with and he wasn’t like most men, at least that's what she hoped. He did have his moments now and again. But one of the things she had learnt in the seven years that she had known him, he was more in touch with his feelings. Even if he did block some of them out or fought his way through them. She just had to trust that she knew him enough that he wouldn’t walk away from her over something like this. 

Sam’s words had reassured her on top of everything. She had been right after all and she would have an outsider’s perspective on things so surely she could rely on her opinion. Nikki looked over to Jack who was just staring at her. Reaching out she ran her finger along his cheek adoringly, a smile gracing his face at her touch. 

“Just a couple of hours to go,” he grinned. The smile dropped as the colour on Nikki’s face drained and she was springing up out of bed and darted straight to the bathroom. Worrying about her, he instantly followed behind her. She had left the door open and he was met with her head hanging over the toilet bowl. Edging closer, he knelt down next to her, scooping her hair back out of her way with one hand. The other rubbing her back softly. 

He winced but the retching soon stopped and she was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and leaning herself up against the wall. 

“You alright?” he asked. Nikki shrugged, her throat too sore to speak for the moment. “You haven’t been right all week, are you sure there isn’t something you want to tell me?” 

Her eyes were blurring, “Can we talk about it after the wedding?” eventually escaped from her mouth. 

“Sure,” Jack nodded, not wanting to push it for the moment. He had other things on his mind. “But don’t think that you’re getting away with it that easily, I will get it out of you Dr Alexander,” he winked at her, standing up. “Do you want some water?”

Nikki nodded, pushing herself up off the floor, “You won’t be able to call me that anymore after today,” she pointed out. 

“I know that’s why I’m getting as much use out of it while I can,” he chuckled. “I will still be able to call you it at work though.” 

Nikki rolled her eyes, ignoring him and walking back into the bedroom. She headed over to her wardrobe, opening it up to reveal the dress she had chosen. She had taken Jack’s advice in getting the floral dress and the moment that she had seen it she had fallen in love with it and she couldn’t leave it behind. 

She pulled it out and laid it out on the bed, admiring it. Her heart started racing as she gazed down at it, her nerves had been acting up for the whole week for so many different reasons and it was hard to pinpoint what was worrying her the most. She’d been replaying Sam’s words over and over again in her head over the week. Given that she was still getting symptoms probably meant that the first test had been wrong, or it was something different entirely and that worried her more. 

She ran her hand along the dress, taking a deep breath to calm herself and she was soon heading back to the bathroom to have a shower and get ready for the big day. She was just glad that both her and Jack had settled on throwing out the traditional wedding values and that he was there with her right now. She was stressed out enough as it was but it was reassuring to know that they would be in this together and for the whole way. 

Jack on the other hand set about making the two of them some breakfast. He knew that Nikki would probably take the longest to get ready so he was quite happy to take a step back and take his time. 

He buttered the toast, he didn’t want to have something heavy, especially with Nikki being the way that she was at the moment. He had been worried about her, even if most of his time had been occupied by his dad. That was most likely the reason why she hadn’t said anything about what was going on. And as much as he appreciated that she didn’t want to pile everything on top of him at the moment, he just wished that she had talked to him about it. She’d promised to talk to him after the wedding but it was going to be on his mind all day now. He shrugged, he would just have to trust her and he absolutely did. 

The smile graced his face as she walked downstairs, a towel wrapped around her head and one of his jumpers grazing her knees. 

“You know,” he started, pushing a plate in her direction as she sat down at the breakfast bar. “If you walked down the aisle like that I would still marry you.” 

“Good,” she grinned. 

Jack leaned down, his lips capturing hers. 

After they finished their food, both of them headed back upstairs with Jack going in the shower whilst Nikki returned to the bedroom to make a start on her makeup. She didn’t want something over the top, it wasn’t her at the end of the day and as much of a strange day this was going to be she’d have to try and treat it like a normal day so as not to let her nerves get in the way. 

It wasn’t long before she felt satisfied with how she looked and she was stepping into her dress and luckily Jack was walking into the room at the right time as she was struggling to reach the zip at the back. 

“Can you help me?” She asked, her eyes soft. 

Jack stepped closer to her, gently taking hold of the zip and pulling it upwards. The dress tightening against her slender frame. He couldn’t control the shaking in his hands. Placing his hands on her shoulders before running them down her arms, smoothing down the fabric. His arms were soon wrapping around her waist, bringing her flush against him. He tucked his face into her neck, pressing kisses into her flesh. 

Nikki closed her eyes, breathing slowly as the goosebumps erupted across her skin. 

“Are you sure about today?” He whispered into her neck. “If you want to change your mind, that’s okay I’d understand.” 

Nikki quickly turned around in his arms, feeling her heart drop, “Of course I don’t want to change my mind.” 

Jack’s hands travelled to the back of her neck, his thumb moving in circles into her skin. He shrugged, “You just don’t seem right. Not yourself somehow. I know you said you wanted to talk about it later but I can’t help but feel as though this is something that can’t wait until later. You’re worrying me Niks.” 

Nikki exhaled, all she wanted to do was get through the day and not be stuck in her own head for hours on end. She’d wanted to talk about it later but if she didn’t talk about it now then she might end up in an even worse position than she was already. She just had to hope that this didn’t end up in an argument or even with them cancelling the day. She knew that that wouldn’t happen but there was still that slither of doubt. 

She fought back the tears, closing her eyes to steady herself before finally opening her mouth to speak, “I took a test,” fell from her lips.

Jack felt his stomach drop but he didn’t move, “What?”

“It was negative,” Nikki wrapped her hands around Jack’s wrist. “And I was so sure that it wouldn’t be. I feel so different from the last time and I honestly thought that I was pregnant.”

“Oh Niks,” Jack’s arms were quickly wrapping around her body, engulfing her as the tears slipped down her cheeks. Nikki gripped onto his skin, the sobs wracking through her. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I could’ve been there for you, we’re in this together now. You don’t have to keep things bottled up all the time.”

Nikki pulled back from him slightly, “I’m sorry,” she breathed. 

“What have you got to be sorry about?” his lips twitched, his hands returning to her neck, his thumbs wiping the tears away. Leaning down he planted a kiss on her forehead, his lips travelling down her face before connecting with hers. They soon parted. “Whatever happens, I’m still going to love you. I’ve loved you long enough, nothing is going to change that.” 

She couldn’t help the smile that was quickly growing across her face, “I’ve still got that feeling though.”

“What feeling?”

“That I’m pregnant,” she stated. “I’m still getting the symptoms which, granted, could be something else entirely. But tests can get it wrong sometimes and I don’t know,” she shook her head. 

“Well it’s your body so chances are you know what’s going on inside it,” he spoke softly. “When did you take the test?”

“Last week.”

“How about  _ we  _ take a test tomorrow, just to be sure,” he offered. “And I’m going to be there this time so you won’t be on your own.” 

Nikki nodded, her eyes welling up again, “I’d like that.” Reaching up, her lips captured his briefly before pulling away. “I better go and sort my face out otherwise everyone else will start to worry.” 

Jack chuckled at that, dropping his hands so she could head back towards the mirror, sitting down on the stool that sat in front of it. “Like I said earlier, I’d still marry you.”

She rolled her eyes, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She knew deep down that she had absolutely no reason to worry but sometimes she couldn’t help but let her worries get the better of her. Maybe it was the better thing to tell him before the wedding, at least she’d be able to get through the day a lot easier and with less to overthink about. 

Nikki fixed her makeup, eyeing up Jack in the reflection of the mirror as he fixed his tie. He very rarely ever got dressed up, unless the occasion called for it of course. She was only ever used to seeing him in jeans and t-shirts so it was quite a treat to see him in a suit. It suited him but she did definitely prefer him in usual outfits, it was more  _ him. _

Jack sat on the edge of the bed watching as Nikki did the finishing touches to her hair. She had gone for a style that was more elegant but still remained a sense of her. She had scooped most of it back, leaving two pieces in the front to frame her face. She’d slowly started to dye it back to blonde, getting bored of the brown. So now the colour was more like a dark blonde. And it suited her, but Jack thought that everything suited her so it made no odds to him. 

He glanced down to the watch that sat on his wrist.  _ One hour to go.  _ One hour to go until he was going to be married and she was going to be sharing a last name with him. It had all gone so fast but he wouldn’t have changed it for the world. And  _ if  _ Nikki was pregnant well that would just be the cherry on top of the cake. They’d agreed to give it at least a year but now there was a chance that she could be. Well, it wasn’t something that he was going to get off his mind that easily. 

Of course if she wasn’t or if it was going to be something they’d need to put that little bit more effort into then he would be perfectly okay with that as well. He had meant what he’d said when he told her that he loved her. He’d meant it every time. He didn’t think that he could love anyone more and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, through thick and thin. And today was just paramount to that. 

He beamed as he caught her eye in the mirror and she was quickly turning in her chair to face him, her eyes lighting up. 

“I’m ready,” she grinned. 

“Good,” he replied, standing up and smoothing down his trousers. “I thought for a moment there that we’d miss our own wedding.” 

“Oh shut up,” she laughed, standing up herself and tapping him on the arm as they made their way out of the bedroom. 

Nikki waited by the stairs as Jack ran into the kitchen to pick up the keys for the car. Joining her back in the hallway and not a moment too soon. He was taking hold of her hand in his, squeezing it gently as he led the way out of the house. 

He opened the car door, letting her in before walking round to his side and starting the car. They made their way to his dad’s apartment. As Jack pulled up in the car park, Nikki insisted on staying in the car whilst Jack went up to go and get his dad. It would give him a moment to be alone with him. 

Jack held his breath as he watched the numbers change on the panel. His palms were getting sweaty and his heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to pass out. He let go of that breath as the elevator stopped and he was on the right floor. 

Leaving the elevator he walked round to his dad’s flat and knocked heavily on the door. He had found himself being unable to stand still as he moved from one foot to the other. Eventually his dad opened his door and was wearing a suit not too dissimilar from his own. He looked paler than usual but the smile that was on his face made up for that. Jack knew that his dad was trying his best to remain strong for today and he couldn’t appreciate that anymore than he already did. 

“Are you ready?” Conor asked. 

“I think so,” Jack bit his lip in anticipation. “I hope so.” 

Conor reached out, patting his son on the shoulder, “You’ve got this. Don’t worry. Let’s make a move shall we?” 

“After you,” he spoke, gesturing his hand for his father to take the lead. 

They were soon coming out of the elevator and heading back to the car. It was a half an hour car ride to the registry office now but they had plenty of time, they’d just have to hope that the traffic wasn’t too bad. But given that it was a Sunday afternoon they’d probably be just fine.

Jack had spent most of the journey with his hand on Nikki’s thigh. He’d put it there initially because her leg wouldn’t stop shaking and he was trying his best to calm her. It stayed there when she put her own hand on top. Not much had been said, all three of the people in the car were full of excitement and nervousness and none of them quite knew what to say. 

After what felt like forever they were finally pulling up in the car park. Everyone else was already there and were patiently waiting outside for the couple to arrive. Thankfully the weather report had been wrong about the rain and was seemingly holding off as the sun shone brightly in the sky. Nikki couldn’t help but take it as a sign that things were going to go well and that this was the right thing to do. 

Jack squeezed her thigh quickly before opening up the car door, walking around and opening the doors for both Nikki and his dad. As soon as they got out, he locked the car giving them a quick smile before making his way over to their guests. 

“How are you feeling?” Clarissa chirped up, smirking. 

“Fine,” he answered, pausing; not quite believing his own voice. “I think. I’m more excited than nervous though.”

“Well that’s always a good sign,” Sam smiled. She flicked her wrist to look at her watch. “We’ve still got twenty minutes to go.”

“I’m sure they’d let us in now,” Max offered. 

“Let’s go in then,” Jack headed through the entrance, Max and Clarissa following behind. 

Sam stayed back, eyeing Nikki before making her way over to her. 

“You look…” she started. “Amazing.” 

“Thank you,” Nikki blushed, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

Picking up that the two women wanted a moment to themselves, Conor backed off walking towards the building that everyone had disappeared into. 

“I’ve told him,” Nikki sighed, getting straight to the point. 

“And?” 

“Everything’s okay,” Nikki’s lips twitched. “We’re going to take another test tomorrow to make sure that it was the right result. And if that comes back negative as well then I really think we are going to work through it however way we’re going to work through it.” 

“I’m glad,” Sam nodded. “And how are you feeling today?”

“Nervous,” Nikki’s hand subconsciously rested on her stomach. “Scared, excited, every emotion humanly possible at the moment.” 

Sam chuckled, noticing where Nikki’s hand had travelled, “You’re feeling perfectly normal then.” 

They both snapped their head towards the building as Conor was making their way towards them quickly, announcing that they were ready to get started now if everyone else was. Sam and Nikki shared a look before Sam was leaving just her and Conor. 

“Uh I wanted a word with you before we went in,” Conor began. Nikki’s face dropping at his tone, not quite sure of it but she remained silent. “I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for my son. He really loves you Nikki and I’ve never seen him like this before. I hope that he makes you as happy as you’ve made him. I wish that I could be around for longer to see you make your family but I am sure that the two of you will be just fine.” 

Nikki knew that it was going to be an emotional day and she wasn’t sure where the tears would end but sure enough her eyes were welling up again. She took hold of Conor’s arm, “Thank you. It’s reassuring to know that I’ve got your blessing.” 

“You were always going to get my blessing,” he smiled. “I knew from the first time that I met you that you were going to be the one to make my son the happiest man on the planet. I’m just glad I get to see at least a moment of that.”

“I better get in there before Jack thinks I’ve run off,” she laughed softly, dabbing at her eyes slowly so as not to smudge her makeup. 

Conor’s face mirrored hers as she looped her arm around his and they made their way through the entrance. In the rush of everything they hadn’t got round to settling on any music to play but they were quite enjoying the silence, it was far from uncomfortable. She leaned slightly into Conor, her arm tightening around his and the tears were slipping down her cheeks the moment her eyes connected with Jacks. She had spent all morning with him so she didn’t have a clue where this wave of emotion was coming from. 

Despite there being other people with them in the room Jack felt it was only him and Nikki. He couldn’t take his eyes off her. He’d been staring at her the whole morning but she looked so beautiful in that moment. He really was the luckiest person in the world and there was the slightest chance that she could be carrying his baby right now. It almost felt too good to be true, but maybe now was their time to be happy. They’d earned it enough with everything they had been through over the past couple of years. 

Nikki was soon stopping in front of him and he couldn’t control himself as his hand brushed hers, the slightest contact causing the tears he was trying hold back dropping. 

Not wanting to further complicate things they stuck to keeping the traditional vows. Although Jack was starting to wonder how he was able to get his words out. His voice had wobbled in ways he never thought that it could and he had been so lost in the moment he wasn’t even fully aware of what he was saying. He meant every word he said but he felt as though he was on cloud nine and as much as he was trying to capture everything in his mind he was struggling. 

Nikki was in pretty much the same state as him. She was surprised that the two of them were actually sounding coherent and she just hoped that everyone else was paying attention because at least they would have documented it in their heads somehow. 

It wasn’t until the words “You may now kiss the bride” were spoken that it really sank in just what was going on. Nikki felt her heart flutter as Jack pecked her on the lips whilst everyone around them clapped. She smiled at Jack’s unwillingness to put on very public displays of affection. He’d been fine about it in front of his dad so she wasn’t sure of what was making a difference now.

Not that she particularly cared right now as she laced her hand through his and looked around the room at all of their friends. They still had all the legal stuff to sign which didn’t take them too long and before they knew it they were all making their way to the pub. 

Wanting to give the couple some space, Conor shared the car with Sam. Jack looked over to Nikki as he parked up. There was going to be no chance of anything wiping the smile off his face at the moment. And he just wondered how long this feeling was going to last. He couldn’t quite describe it but he felt as though there was a chemical reaction going on in his body and he was going to explode at any moment from all the excitement. That feeling only increased when his eyes connected with hers. 

“So,  _ Mrs Hodgson _ ,” he started. Nikki felt her heart dropping at the sound of the words coming out of his mouth. He’d teased her before but now that it was official it felt different and it couldn’t make her happier. “What do you want your first drink to be as a married woman?” 

“Well,  _ Mr Hodgson _ ,” she grinned. “I think I will play it safe and stick to the orange juice.” 

“Probably the best call,” he winked. 

Nikki took Jack’s hand in hers, bringing it rest on her stomach. Her eyes were blurring and her skin was tingling at the thought that maybe the test had been wrong. She hoped it was wrong anyway. She leaned over the threshold, her lips connecting with his. 


	18. Chapter 18

Jack had been awake for hours, just watching her sleep peacefully next to him. He didn’t get any sleep last night, the thoughts had been racing around his head and he was way too excited at the prospect that in a matter of hours he would find out if he was going to become a father. If it wasn’t for the fact that he didn’t want Nikki to wake up only to see that he had gone, he would be in the shop buying all the tests he could right now. Reaching out he tucked a piece of hair behind her ears, a smirk spreading across his face as she stirred. 

She slowly opened her eyes, only to be met by Jack’s face opposite hers. 

“I wish you would stop doing that,” she mumbled. 

“Doing what?” 

“Watching me sleep,” she sighed. “It’s weird. How long have you been awake anyway?”

“I can’t help it,” he replied, turning his body to look up at the ceiling. “You don’t want to know. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since you told me.”

Nikki’s hand found his. Taking hold of it she held it tightly, “I’m surprised you haven’t been to the shop already.”

“I was thinking about it,” he chuckled. “But I didn’t fancy leaving you on your own the morning after our wedding. You’d have thought I’d done a runner.”

“No I wouldn’t because I’d know exactly where you’d be,” she grinned, as he turned to look at her once again. 

“Shall I go now then?” he asked eagerly. 

She rolled her eyes, the smile still on her face, “Even if I say no you’re still going to go anyway so I might as well play along.” 

Jack didn’t hesitate to spring up out of bed and was now rushing around the room, finding some clothes to put on. He pulled the t-shirt over his head as he gazed over to the woman lying in bed, her eyes drooping and he had no doubt that she’d go back to sleep the moment he left the house. He edged closer to the bed, leaning over her, he captured her lips with his, taking her by surprise. But it wasn’t something that was unwelcomed as her hand came to rest on his cheek and she deepened the kiss. 

It wasn’t for the fact that he wanted to find out if he was going to become a dad or not he would’ve been tempted to stay in bed for a touch longer, not that it would’ve taken that much convincing, even right now. Reluctantly he pulled away from her, his eyes searching hers. 

“I love you Mrs Hodgson,” fell from his mouth. 

Nikki’s lips twitched fondly, “I love you too Mr Hodgson.” 

And with that Jack was heading down the stairs and disappearing behind the front door. He could feel his whole body shaking with anticipation as he drove to the shop and paced up and down the aisles trying to find the best one, one they could rely on the most to give them the right result. He settled on picking up a few, just in case one of them ended up being wrong. 

He returned after about an hour and to his surprise Nikki was downstairs, sat at the table with the laptop in front of her. 

His shoulders dropped, “I hope you’re not doing work.” 

Nikki glanced up to him before slowly closing the laptop, “No…” she lied. 

Jack just shook his head, chuckling to himself as he placed the shopping bag on the table. Digging through the bag, he pulled out the breakfast rolls for the two of them, although he was much too nervous to even think about food right now and he knew Nikki would be in the same boat as him. But he thought that they might want something to eat once they got everything else out of the way. He then grabbed the three boxes out, popping them next to the bag. 

“Breakfast first or after?” he asked anyway in the off chance that she’d want something.

Shaking her head, Nikki reached out to pick up one of the boxes, inspecting it. She couldn’t bear any food right now. Pushing herself up from the chair, she walked round the table so that she was now standing in front of him. She placed her hand on his arm. 

“What if they all come back negative again?” the lump in her throat forming. 

Jack rested his hands round the back of her neck, causing her to look up at him, “We’ll deal with that hurdle when we get there, okay?” Leaning down, he pressed his lips into her forehead. 

Nikki nodded, feeling a little bit more reassured. She picked up the remaining two boxes and headed back up the stairs to the bathroom. Jack watched as she left. It was going to be at least ten minutes until they’d find out the result but he could feel his heart racing already. They’d not been married for twenty four hours yet and here they were, taking a test to find out if they were going to be parents. It had all gone so quick and there was this slither of doubt telling him that it was too good to be true. Apart from everything with his dad, things seemed to have gone his way recently. He’d finally got the courage to ask the woman he had been pining over for the past seven years to go on a date. Now he was standing in her kitchen, or rather  _ their  _ kitchen, married and waiting for the result that would mean they’d be starting a family. 

There was the smallest part of him that wanted it to come back negative in a way. It would give them the chance for it to be just them, without having to worry about everything else. They would have the moment to settle into their lives together. But then he supposed they would have nine months to do that. And after all he’d always wanted to have children and he couldn’t think of anyone better than Nikki to share that opportunity with. If this was all happening now then it was for a reason, else why would it happen? 

His thoughts quickly turned to his dad and he was starting to wonder how he would react to all of this. Of course he would be over the moon, he was the one who encouraged them to get engaged after all. But Jack couldn’t stop that sinking feeling as he realised that his dad would probably never meet his grandchildren. There was that chance that the chemotherapy was having an effect however, but the doctors prospect wasn’t bright. Jack just had to hope that his dad would be able to pull through. He was tough as old boots after all and he wouldn’t let something like this win. Especially not if Jack were to tell him that he was going to be a grandfather. 

Quickly bringing him back to reality was Nikki coming down the stairs, the three tests in her hand. She walked closer to him, placing them down on the table before moving to get herself a glass of water. 

“How long do we have to wait?” he broke the silence. 

“Three minutes, I’ve set an alarm on my phone,” she breathed. 

“Do you think you could manage some breakfast?” 

Nikki shrugged but Jack was already placing the roll in her hand and he very clearly was not about to take no for an answer. And she couldn’t deny that she was hungry so she sat back down in the chair and took a bite of the bread. She slowly ate away and she was halfway through when her alarm started ringing. She dropped the roll on the table as the adrenaline quickly surged around her body. Both Jack and Nikki’s head flicked to where the tests sat. Jack didn’t hesitate to grab hold of her hand, squeezing it tight in an attempt to reassure her. 

Reaching across the table, Nikki held her breath as she picked up the first stick. She knew that her hand was shaking but she was just hoping that they didn’t come back negative again, she didn’t think she could cope with that feeling. If they were negative, that would be the third time now and she was starting to worry that there was something seriously wrong. But at least she had Jack with her this time and she knew that he would be okay with whatever the result was, he’d said as much yesterday. 

Letting out the breath she was holding back, she opened her eyes, settling on the result.  _ Positive. _ She felt her stomach drop and the tears she didn’t even realise she had were now slipping down her cheeks. Not quite believing her eyes, she picked up the remaining two tests and sure enough, they were all positive. Her head snapped to Jack who was clearly trying to gauge her reaction but he’d gotten his answer as her whole face lit up and the beam was spreading across her face. 

“Oh my God,” he said under his breath, his eyes blurring as he stood up. Before he even knew what he was doing, Nikki was being scooped up in his arms and he was holding her tight in his arms. He could feel himself sobbing as he nestled his face into her neck. 

He eventually put her back down but not wanting to lose the contact, his hands were cupping her face. Leaning down, his lips were crashing into hers. He could feel her hands resting on his waist, pulling him closer to her as her lips parted, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His hand travelled to the back of her head and he gently tugged at her hair. 

If it wasn’t for oxygen becoming necessary he would have stayed like that forever. Pulling away, he rested his forehead against hers. Their breathing in time with each other and their smiles mirroring one anothers. 

“I can’t believe this is all really happening.”

“It is what you want though?” she questioned, her heart dropping at the thought that maybe this wasn’t what he wanted. 

“Absolutely,” he replied, quickly forgetting that thought he had earlier. Now he knew for definite that he was going to be a father there was no chance that he would want to turn back the clocks. This was everything that he wanted and more. He’d got the woman of his dreams, beautiful and extremely intelligent. And now she was carrying his baby, he couldn’t think of anything better. After everything that had been thrown at them for the past couple of years it was the least that they deserved. 

  
Nikki on the other hand was just relieved that it wasn’t yet another negative test. It had been playing on her mind for the whole week and now she finally had the result she’d wanted. Their little family was just getting started and she couldn’t be happier. She had to admit that she never thought she’d be the maternal type but now that she knew she was pregnant and there was this thing growing inside of her, nothing had felt more right. And she was getting to experience that with her best friend, she couldn’t think of a better situation. She was finally getting her chance at happiness. As Jack wrapped his arms around her body, embracing her once again, she corrected herself, _they_ were finally getting their chance at happiness.


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a couple days since Nikki and Jack had taken a test to find out that they were expecting to be parents. Nikki had booked in a scan straight away as they had wanted to be extra certain and to make sure everything was as it should be. They were yet to get around to telling anyone yet. They wanted to put it off till after the 12 week scan but of course there was one person they had to tell before this and that was Jack’s father. They knew it would cheer him up and this would be just the news that he would need to hear right now. His chemo had seemed to be going well but they were having to wait to see any actual results from the treatment. 

There was one other person they had unintentionally told - or rather she had worked it out when Nikki had asked if her and Jack could have the morning off. Sam hadn’t said anything out right but given that she had known Nikki was taking another test and now all of a sudden she was asking for a morning off meant only one thing. 

That morning had come around so quickly. They had both woken up earlier than was necessary and had spent the morning trying to make the hours pass by quickly. Jack had made them both breakfast to try and settle their stomachs but neither were quite in the mood to eat anything. Both too eager and too excited. 

Nikki glanced at her watch for what must’ve the hundredth time and found herself breathing a sigh of relief as she realised that it was now a reasonable time for the both of them to set off for the hospital. She looked over at Jack, giving him a little nod before picking up her bag and her coat. Jack shrugged his own jacket on and followed behind Nikki as they made their way to the car. 

Traffic had been light so it wasn’t long before they were pulling up in the car park outside the hospital. Jack glanced over at Nikki as he switched the engine off, “You ready?”

Nikki shook her head, “No.” She was suddenly starting to feel sick, a mixture of excitement and anxiety building up inside her. 

Jack reached over the threshold, placing his hand over hers, squeezing it gently to reassure her, “There’s nothing to worry about, I’m going to be with you the whole time.” 

“But what if there’s something wrong Jack,” she started, the lump in her throat forming. “I’m not exactly in my thirties and you hear all these stories about women my age and I can’t help but feel that something isn’t right. I mean why was the first test negative?” 

“Nikki,” he interrupted. “You know as well as I do that sometimes these things happen, sometimes they’re wrong. But I promise you, whatever happens in there I am going to be with you every step of the way. You’re getting worried over nothing. This is finally our chance to be happy, the two of us. We’ve had nothing but drama and despair these past couple of years, I think the universe is trying to show us that this is our time. Everything is going to be fine, I promise.” 

Leaning over, his lips brushed hers briefly. A small smile washed across her face, feeling a little more at ease at Jack’s words. Letting her hand slip from under his, she made to leave the car only for her hand to join his again as they headed towards the maternity ward of the hospital. Once she had given her name in, they sat down in the seats to wait for their name to be called. It was quite quiet on the ward but Nikki was watching the woman sat across from her. Her stomach swollen to quite some size but she was sat on her own. 

Her heart ached for her, she didn’t think she could ever go through this whole thing on her own, no matter how independent she had been for most of her life. It made her wonder if this woman had any family or if she really was on her own. She tightened her hand around Jack’s. At least she had him, even if she didn’t have anyone else. She would’ve loved for her mother to be with her right now, sat with her and experiencing this with her. Guiding her, giving her advice, reassuring her. But she supposed she had Jack for that and she wouldn’t change that for the world. She rested her head on his arm, wanting to feel as close to him as possible. 

Jack’s head flicked down to look at her, she had her eyes closed and he could tell that she was still feeling anxious. He couldn’t blame her though, he felt as though his nerves had been shot and it didn’t help that he’d barely got any sleep last night. This was just the beginning as well. They still had another nine months to go of this. If the sleep was bad now then they were both going to be exhausted for the next couple of years. But he supposed he didn’t mind that much, having a child with his best friend and the woman he loved made it all worth while. 

Nikki jumped next to him as the midwife called out her name. She felt the adrenaline surge through her as she looked over at Jack, now was the time. Her hand subconsciously fell to rest on her stomach. 

“Come on,” Jack spoke under his breath. “Let’s get in there.” He stood up, taking hold of Nikki’s hand, pulling her up with him. They stayed close together as they walked with the midwife into the small room. 

The midwife asked them both all the basic questions and needs to know, Jack did most of the talking; Nikki finding herself unable to find her voice. Her thumb had been running circles over her stomach, a gesture that hadn’t gone unnoticed by the midwife. 

“I can see that you’re both quite anxious,” she spoke softly. “Are there any questions you want to ask me before we get started? Anything you might be worried about?” 

Nikki shrugged her shoulders, “I’m not sure,” she finally found her voice. “It’s just a mixture of everything at the minute. I just want to know if everything’s healthy and as it should be.” 

“Well, there’s only way to find out,” the midwife smiled. “If you could just lie back on the bed and lift your top up. Now I have to warn you, the gel is quite cold,” she chuckled, trying to break the ice in order to make both soon to be parents feel at ease. 

Nikki felt the goosebumps erupt all over her skin as she felt the cool liquid come into contact with her skin, she wasn’t lying. She reached out for Jack’s hand but she didn’t have far to look, he was already seeking hers. Their fingers knitted through one another’s, holding each other tightly. She held a breath as the midwife placed the scanner on her lower stomach, this was it. She found herself closing her eyes, too scared to look. She just had to hope that Jack was being her eyes. 

The silence was deafening and it seemed to go on for ages as the midwife moved the instrument across her abdomen. But eventually she made a noise and Nikki’s eyes shot open, looking in the direction of the screen and sure enough there it was. Not that it was much, more like a little blob but it was there and that’s all that mattered. 

She hadn’t even noticed the tears that had slipped down her cheeks until Jack was wiping the back of his hand down her face. She had been so focused on the image on the screen she hadn’t even noticed the midwife had asked if she’d wanted to hear the heartbeat. Jack had said yes instantly. It was like music to their ears and the both of them were trying to hold back the sobs. Nikki turned to look at Jack, the expression on his face mirroring hers. She reached out to rest her hand on his cheek, swiping his own tears away. 

He leaned forward, capturing her lips with his. He had been right, there was absolutely nothing to worry about. The baby had been perfectly healthy and everything appeared to be in working order. Their midwife ran them through what they were to do next and reassured them if there was anything that either of them needed or if there was ever a question they wanted to be answered then all they had to do was pick up the phone. She handed them the number of the maternity ward, along with two copies of the scan photos. 

Jack and Nikki both made their way back out of the hospital, feeling as though a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. Nikki found herself unable to stop looking at the scan photo in front of her as they walked back to the car. Her finger running over their baby, who couldn’t have been any bigger than a little bean. She was grinning from ear to ear and she felt as though she was on top of the world. 

She looked over at Jack as they sat in the car, his face not too dissimilar from her own as he took the photo from her so he could take a look at it properly. He stared at the image, feeling his heart fluttering. A baby. His baby. Their baby. It was going to take a while before it fully sunk in. 

“I still can’t believe this is really happening,” he breathed. Nikki was leaning over him once again, so she could take another peak at the picture. “It’s just all so surreal.” 

Nikki watched Jack’s face, feeling herself welling up at the sight. She had never seen so happy in all the years that she’d known him. He was quite literally glowing and she couldn’t help but chuckle. She was meant to be the pregnant one after all, she was meant to be the one that was glowing. 

“You know,” she started. “If you had told me a couple of months ago that I would be married and expecting a child with my best friend who happens to also be the love of my life, I don’t think I would’ve ever believed you. But I wouldn’t change a single thing in the world.” 

Jack’s head turned to face her, “I don’t think I would’ve believed myself either. This really is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. _You_ are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love you Nikki, so much.” 

“I love you too,” she smiled, their lips meeting in the middle of the small gap between them. She reluctantly pulled away from him. “I would love to stay her all day, in this little bubble, looking at our little creation. However, I think there is one person that we need to a pay a visit to, don’t you think?” 

“What do you think he’s going to say?” Jack pondered, as he started up the car. 

“He’s going to be over the moon,” she spoke, taking the picture back from Jack and settling into her chair. It wasn’t a long journey from the hospital to his father’s house but the traffic was starting to pick up now so no doubt it would take them twice as long to get there. 

Ten minutes had past and Nikki was still yet to take her eyes off the photo, she still couldn’t wrap her head around it. She had always wondered how it would feel, to have a baby a growing inside her, feeding off her at every given moment. She supposed that she wouldn’t notice it much for the first couple of weeks but she found herself getting excited about the thought of feeling every little movement. She had dealt with people at the end of their lives for as long as she could remember and now here she was, growing life. It was strange but she was going to do everything in her power to appreciate these moments. 

“Boy or a girl?” She broke the silence, clearly pulling Jack from his thoughts which she couldn’t help but giggle at. 

“Uh not that it really matters but I think I would prefer a boy,” Jack said eventually after he mulled over the question for a couple of minutes. “What about you? Girl or boy?” 

“As long as it’s healthy then I don’t really care.” 

Jack scoffed, “Well that is the better thing to say.”

Nikki just rolled her eyes at him. They eventually parked up outside Jack’s dads and they were heading into the elevator. Jack’s hand had somehow found Nikki’s again, it was a gesture that was so part of them now they didn’t even realise that they were doing it half the time. As they reached the right floor, they rounded the corner to the flat. Jack was about to put his fist up to knock on the door only to be met by Conor opening the door before he had the chance. 

Conor had jumped out of his skin as he eyed up the pair stood in front of him, “What in the hell are you two doing here?” He asked, his accent stronger than usual. 

“Hello to you too Da’,” Jack laughed. “We wanted to come and see you, that’s all.” 

Conor just sighed, turning around to walk back into his flat, Nikki and Jack following closely behind them. “I was on my way out to buy some milk so you better make this quick,” he moaned, guiding them into his living room. He was watching the two of them, they had clearly come here to tell them something. That something he couldn’t tell if it was positive or negative, Nikki was fiddling with the photos on the mantelpiece and Jack was shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Come on, spit it out. There’s obviously something you want to tell me.”

His dad really didn’t miss a trick, did he? Jack shared a look with Nikki, giving her a little nod before reaching into his pocket and pulling out the other copy of the scan photo. He handed it to his father, unable to stop the smile returning to his face. His heart was pounding again as his dad glared at the photo, his hand coming to cover his mouth. Nikki’s hand had slipped into Jack’s, squeezing it. Her own heart racing at the sight

“Well that’s uh,” Conor stuttered, overwhelmed. “That’s wonderful news. Congratulations both of you. And thank you. If there was any motivation for me to get through this whole mess then this is going to be it. I’m not going to let this thing eating me alive stop me from meeting my grandchild.” 

Jack couldn’t help but wince at his father’s blunt choice of words, but then he supposed that was just typical of him. 

“Come here,” Conor directed at Jack as father and son engulfed each other in a hug. “My son’s going to be a father, eh? ‘Bout time you had started growing up then.” He whispered in his ear. Jack just shook his head.

Nikki’s eyes were welling up at the interaction in front of her. The tears quickly slipping down her cheeks as Conor was now pulling her into a hug, holding her tight. 

“Thank you,” Conor let out again. “You’ve really brought a beacon of light into this family and I will forever be grateful. Grace, Jack’s mother and my wife. She would’ve loved you, I wish you could’ve met her. She would be so proud if she could see you now Jack.” 

Nikki wasn’t quite sure of what say, Jack had only mentioned his mother twice before. Once when they had been working on that case in Scotland and the other time at Sam’s. But even then it had been so brief, she had no idea who she was and what she looked like, he hadn’t even shown her a picture. She didn’t blame him though, judging by the look on his face presently, it still hurt him. So it was no wonder that he didn’t want to talk about her. 

“I’m sure she was a wonderful woman,” she came up with eventually. “I would’ve loved to have met her.” 

“Oh actually, while you’re here,” Conor started, trailing off as he headed out of the room. 

Nikki glanced over at Jack, noticing the unshed tears in his eyes. Reaching out she rested her hand on his arm. 

“Are you okay?” She spoke softly. 

Jack just nodded. He’d talk to her about it later, that she was sure of. She didn’t want to pressure him into talking, he’d come when he was ready. He always did. Although she didn’t have much of a chance to think about it as Conor was joining them again, carrying two photo albums and a small box. He handed them to Jack. 

“I found these the other day and thought you might want to look over them. They’re pictures from when you were younger,” he paused, welling up. “Your mother had insisting on documenting everything so everything has a date and an explanation. I hope you enjoy looking through them, I couldn’t quite bring myself to do it.” Emotions were certainly running high between the three in the room. 

“If this baby ends up looking anything like it’s father however, then God help us,” Conor joked, trying to lighten the mood. Jack had scoffed at him but there was a smile on his face. 

Nikki looked down at the watch on her wrist, finding herself quite surprised at the time, “We best get back to work before Sam starts thinking the worst,” she interrupted. 

Both Jack and Nikki made their goodbyes to Conor, promising that they would visit him again in the week. They eventually made their way back to work only to find out that they hadn’t missed out on much. It had been a quiet morning and Sam was quite happy to have had company again. 

Nikki sat down at her desk as Jack sat down at his own, preparing to get on with some work. She had been due to carry out a post mortem that afternoon whilst Jack had been scheduled to get on with some paperwork, his _favourite_ part of the job - not. 

“So, how did it go?” Sam asked as she walked in. Jack’s head snapped up to Nikki’s, his brows furrowing, _how did she know?_

Nikki rolled her eyes at him for the second time that day, he knew that he wasn’t being serious and he didn’t mind that much but of course she’d have to owe him an explanation later. She pulled her bag out and passed the scan photo over to Sam who just gushed over the two of them and congratulated them endlessly. Of course, the conversation had turned to maternity leave for Nikki and paternity leave for Jack but she had told them not to worry about anything for the moment, they still had another couple of months to sort all that out. 

She left them so they could carry on with their work, not wanting to annoy them after what seemed to be quite the hectic and emotional morning. 

The day had passed quite quickly as it had turned out and before they knew it they were heading back home. Nikki had felt her stomach grumbling whilst on their drive home so she didn’t hesitate to start preparing the pair of them food for their dinner. Jack had brought in the albums and the box, placing them down on the table. His finger ran along the box, coating it in a thick layer of dust. He rubbed his fingers together, sighing. 

“How come Sam knew?” He questioned, breaking the silence that had fallen between the two of them. 

“She guessed Jack,” Nikki turned to face him. “It doesn’t take a genius to work it out. Besides, she knew about the first test.”

Jack shook his head, smiling at her, “I’m only winding you up.” He walked over to her, pecking her on the lips before sitting down at the table. He pulled out the first album, opening it up. He felt his stomach drop, it was a picture of his mother and his father on their wedding day. It was the smartest his dad had ever looked and as for his mother, well she just looked amazing. She had written _‘Wedding Day 19.04.72’_ underneath the photo. 

It had been so long since he’d seen a picture of his mother, he’d almost forgotten what she’d looked like. His finger stroked over her writing, tears dripping down his face. 

A sniff coming from behind caused Nikki to spin on her heel, her eyes quickly landing on the photo album that was open in front of her husband. She turned the hob down, letting her food simmer as she edged closer to Jack. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, leaning into him, his hand coming to rest on her forearm. 

“Is that her?” She asked to which Jack simply nodded. “She’s beautiful,” she breathed. 

The pair of them looked at more of the photos after they had dinner. The photos now spread out over the coffee table in the living room. Nikki sat cross legged on the floor whilst Jack remained sat on the sofa just behind her, looking over her shoulder. They had nearly looked through all the photos at this point but the box stayed sitting there, staring at them, waiting for them to open it up. 

Reaching over her, Jack picked it up, taking the lid off and placing it back on the table. Inside was things he could vaguely remember from his childhood and some things he couldn’t remember at all. His hospital tag was the first thing he pulled out, his hand running over the words _‘Baby Hodgson.’_ Next was a pair of shoes, he assumed had been his first. He marvelled at how tiny they were and struggled to believe that his feet were ever that small. Next was a yellow blanket which he held up to his nose. Closing his eyes he breathed it in, flashbacks of being a wee boy running through his head. There was a small teddy bear which he couldn’t quite remember the name of. But he did remember that he used to take it with him wherever he had went. 

What he was wasn’t expecting was a letter sitting at the bottom of the box with his name on it. Pulling it out, he recognised the writing as his mothers straight away. He could feel his heart rate picking up, he had never seen this before. But to be honest he had never seen the box either, this was completely unbeknownst to him and he was starting to wonder how his dad was able to hide it from him. 

Nikki watched him as he carefully opened up the envelope, revealing another piece of paper inside. Jack pulled it out, his eyes running over the words. 

_“To my dearest son,_

_I would hope that your father has given this to you when the time is right. If so, congratulations to the both of you! If not, please tell him that I’m going to kill him, I don’t know how but I will find a way.”_

Jack chuckled at that despite the lump forming in his throat. 

_“Whoever she is, I hope she is making you the happiest man alive and I really hope she is keeping you in check. I know how stubborn you can be, you got that from me unfortunately. (I hope your father gave you that ring!)_

_Anyway, this letter should’ve come with a box with all the little things I kept from when you were younger. Your hospital tag, your first pair of shoes, your favourite blanket that you insisted on carrying with you everywhere. And your bear you always called Ben.”_

That was it. 

_“I would hope that you are able to at least pass some of these on to your own child. If not you can look back at them and remember how special you are and how much I love you._

_I wish I could’ve been there on your wedding day, I bet you both looked beautiful. I wish I could’ve been there for the birth of your first child. But please know that I will be there in spirit and I will never stop watching over you. I will always be there. All you have to do is look up at the stars, close your eyes and I will be there._

_I love you so much._

_Lots of love, Mother x_

_P.S Don’t forget to check in on your brother from time to time. I know he can be a pain but he means well.”_

Oh mother you have no idea, he thought to himself. He was choking on the lump in his throat at that point. Nikki was now kneeling, giving her the height so she could pull him into a hug. He sobbed into her neck, her hands stroking the back of his neck. Nikki wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that but the tears soon stopped and he was pulling back from her, handing the letter to her so she could read over it as well. She had only read the first couple of words and she was welling up already. 

Once she finished reading it, she placed it down on the table and stood up. She took hold of Jack’s hand, leading him out to the back garden. It was a clear night and the stars were shining bright. Jack’s arms were wrapped around Nikki’s shoulders as he hugged her from behind. The two of them looked up at the stars, their eyes closed. 

They took a deep breath together before Nikki turned in his arms, facing him. She almost gasped at the white feather that had landed on his shoulder. She plucked it off him, holding it between her fingers. 

“Jack, look,” she whispered. 

Jack opened his eyes, feeling his heart flutter at the feather between her fingers. He took it from her, the tears filling his eyes again. Leaning forward Nikki captured Jack’s lips with hers. 


	20. Chapter 20

It had been a good few weeks since Nikki and Jack had been for their first scan and had broken the news to Conor, who had been over the moon about it all. Nikki had the smallest of bumps now and you wouldn’t be able to notice it unless you knew. Jack had found himself being unable to tear his hands away from it, just wanting to be as close to his baby as he possibly could. Especially after the letter he received from his mother, he was going to cherish every little moment.

They had been making their way back to the Lyell after the twelve weeks scan, both feeling as though a weight had been lifted off their chest now that they were able to spread the news properly. Jack had been on the phone to Clarissa almost straight away, he was ecstatic to finally tell her the good news. She had been just as excited as him, exclaiming how she couldn’t wait to be an aunty and that she was immensely proud of himself and Nikki.

Nikki had debated on telling Harry since they had been keeping in contact the last time he had visited but there had been something stopping her. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Despite him coming back into her life, she felt as though everything had still moved on. That they were living different lives now. She’d tell him one day.

Nikki and Jack were making their way into the entrance of the Lyell, their hands joined as they walked through the hallway.

“Have you been thinking of any names?” Nikki pondered as she tapped the code in to let them in.

Jack shrugged as they rounded the corner to their desks. He swiftly dropped his hand, missing the contact already as he sat down on his chair, “I’d want it to be something meaningful, something special to us.”

“What was your mums name again?” She asked, her eyes connecting with his.

“Grace,” Jack breathed. “But what about your mother?” He threw back, getting an idea of what she was hinting at.

“Carol,” she pointed out. “If it’s a girl she could have both names.”

“And what if it’s a boy?” Jack leaned forward on his elbows.

He could almost see the cogs turning in Nikki’s head as she thought over the possibilities, she could think of a few, ones that would mean something to her, “How about Leo or Thomas? After Leo died, I’d always thought if I had a child then I would name it after Leo in some way. Push his legacy on, I think he would’ve liked that. Thomas deserves the same.”

“How about we see at the time?” Jack smiled fondly, leaning back on his chair. “Have you thought more about what you want to do with the nursery?”

“I’ve got a few ideas in mind but you’re going to have to wait Mr Hodgson,” she teased before standing up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some business to attend to.”

Jack just chuckled at her as he watched her leave, heading in the direction of the bathroom. That’s all she had been doing recently and no doubt it would only get worse throughout the next couple of months. He didn’t mind though, all of it would be worth it in the end.

He turned his attention to his computer as he prepared himself to get on with some work he had started yesterday. He was just starting to relax when he heard a knocking on the glass. His eyebrows furrowed together as he wondered who it could be, they hadn’t been expecting anyone after all. Nikki had just come back into the room as she heard the knocking as well. She told Jack to stay in his seat as she would go answer it.

Walking around the corner she was shocked to see the figure standing there, staring at her. She had felt her heart drop, that was the last person she was expecting to see. She took a deep breath, he was obviously here for a reason so it would be rude of her to send him away. Closing the small distance between herself and the door, Nikki clicked the button at the side and the door buzzed open.

“Matt?” She exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”

The mention of Matt had caught Jack’s attention and he too stood up and made his way around the corner to see it actually was him. He couldn’t quite believe what, or rather who, he was seeing.

“Nikki, hi,” Matt spoke, realising that he was yet to say something. His eyes flicked up to see Jack standing there as well, “Jack.”

Jack just nodded in his direction, not finding the words. He didn’t move though, he stayed standing there, watching as his wife spoke to her ex and wondering why he had come back all of a sudden.

“Well I was in the area,” Matt continued. “And I thought I would pop in and see how you were. I was hoping that I would be able to take you out for lunch. Have a catch up, if you’re not busy that is.”

Nikki looked back at Jack, hinting to him that it was okay, he didn’t have to watch over her. Jack seemed to understand what she was trying to convey as he left the two of them to it and sat back down at his desk.

“I’ll have to double check with Sam but I don’t see why not,” Nikki’s lips twitched, she wouldn’t say that she was over the moon to see Matt but she wasn’t not happy about it. It had been such a long time since she had seen him and they were together for quite a while after all. She turned on her heel and made her way into Sam’s office to clear it with her first.

Matt stayed where he was, just standing awkwardly. He was tempted to go in to talk to Jack but it was Nikki he wanted to see and he wasn’t particularly in the mood to talk to anyone else. But for the sake of being polite and to pass the time, he stood in the hallway, leaning on the door frame as he looked over at Jack.

“How is everything?” He called out, grabbing Jack’s attention.

“Oh you know, same old shit,” Jack grinned. The temptation to rub Matt’s nose into the fact that him and Nikki were now married and had a baby on the way was too much but he knew it wasn’t his place. That was up to Nikki to tell him. He swiftly made sure to hide his left hand so he wouldn’t spot the ring. Although he doubted Matt would take that much notice of him anyway. “And what about you? I thought you’d gone back to America?”

“Yeah, I just had a few things I need to sort out here first,” Matt explained. “But I thought I’d come in and see Nikki before I go back, see how she’s doing.”

Jack nodded, eyeing Matt. He tried not to chuckle at the fact that Matt was squirming, moving from one foot to the other as he waited for Nikki to come back. Unfortunately for Jack his entertainment was short lived as Nikki emerged from Sam’s office and was making her way over to her desk to retrieve her bag and her coat.

“Now I’m sure you can survive without me for an hour Jack,” she winked at him. “I won’t be long, if you need me just call me.”

“See you later,” Jack teased, watching Nikki and Matt make their way out of the Lyell. He knew he could trust Nikki, he had no doubt about that. It was Matt he couldn’t trust, there had always been something about him he didn’t like. He was smarmy, smug. It had never sat well with him. He had to be back here for a reason, there was no chance he was just here on a whim.

Jack shook his head, if he thought about it too much then it would just make things worse. He didn’t think Matt would, but if he ever dreamed of hurting Nikki then Jack would do everything in his power to make sure he wouldn’t see daylight again.

Matt had found a nice spot for the two of them to have coffee. It was private, a place where the two of them could talk privately. That did worry Nikki slightly and she was beginning to wonder if Matt had an ulterior motive to all of this. But she had to trust that he was being genuine, it had been so long since they were together after all. And she hoped that the two of them had moved on.

“What do you want?” Matt wondered as he sat down opposite from the blonde woman.

“Just a sandwich,” Nikki replied, she wasn’t all that hungry since she’d eaten with Jack not that long ago. “So, tell me, what are you doing back?”

“I had a few loose ends that I needed to tie up over here before I head back to the States,” Matt answered. “I wanted to see how you were though, it’s been quite a while, hasn’t it?”

“I’m okay,” she smiled. She wasn’t sure of when it would be a good time to bring up the fact that her Jack were not only in a relationship now but had since got married and that she was pregnant with his child. She supposed that it wasn’t really any of Matt’s business but at the time he had a right to know. However, she decided she wanted to know the real reason he was here before she started giving him every little detail of her life since he had left it. “Work’s still tough, you know how it is. And what about you?”

“I got a promotion,” Matt beamed.

“Congratulations,” Nikki spoke up, genuinely happy for the man in front of her. But she pulled her eyebrows together as his smile dropped. “Matt why are you really here?” She didn’t want to waste anymore time knowing that he wanted to talk to her about something else, that much was obvious.

“You see, with this promotion it means I’m going to stay out there permanently. They don’t need me over here anymore,” Matt started. He reached out to take hold of Nikki’s right hand. Nikki was quite shocked, finding herself unable to move her hand away from his. “I just wanted to make sure that it was over between us. I have missed you so much these past couple of months Nikki. I can’t stop thinking about you, I have been such an idiot in letting you go.”

Nikki’s eyes darted around the room as she digested what exactly it was he was telling her. She couldn’t believe what he was saying and he was saying it all now. Nikki’s thumb twisted the gold band that rested on her finger.

“Matt…I,” she started, not even knowing where to begin.

“Look we don’t have to get together straight away but we can build us back up again and when we’re back to where we were, we could,” he paused for a moment. “We could find a way to make it work. I still love you Nikki.”

Nikki pulled her hand from under his, coming to rest on her lower stomach as she dipped her head.

Matt watched her movements carefully, quickly realising what was going on, “You’re pregnant.”

“And married,” she lifted her left hand up to show him. There was no point trying to hide it now.

“Let me guess, Jack?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

Nikki nodded her head slowly. She could’ve lied, told him it was someone else but he deserved better than that.

“It was always him, wasn’t it?” Matt sighed.

“What do you mean?” Nikki was starting to feel defensive.

“I knew it,” Matt leaned back in his chair. “From the moment we got together I knew you loved him, I supposed you had tried to tell yourself you didn’t but I seen all the looks you gave him. And the way you spoke about him. I’m surprised it took you so long. How many weeks are you?”

“Twelve,” she stated, matter of factly.

“So it didn’t take you long to get over me then?” He scoffed, he wasn’t trying to have a dig at her but he couldn’t help but come across in a sharp tone.

“Matt,” she warned. He was starting to push her buttons and she wasn’t in the mood for an argument. “It just happened. It was all so quick. We only got married so soon for the sake of Jack’s father, he’s dying and he wanted to be there. And then I found out I was pregnant.”

“You’ve got everything you wanted then, haven’t you?” He was upset and hurt. He had come here in the hopes of patching things up and getting back together but now that had been completely thrown out of the window. “Well I hope you’re both happy, I mean it.”

Matt stood up, no longer in the mood for lunch. He walked over to Nikki and placed a hand on her cheek. He leaned down and his lips came into contact with her other cheek briefly before he pulled away, “Congratulations.” And with that he walked away, leaving Nikki alone.

Nikki let out the breath that she had been holding back. She couldn’t help but think about how that was probably the most bizarre half an hour she had experienced. Now she was going to have to find a way back to the Lyell as Matt had driven them both here. Fishing for her phone in her bag she pulled it out, clicking Jack’s name and letting the dial tone ring.

About ten minutes later she was back in Jack’s car and they were heading to the Lyell once again. She didn’t say much during the drive, trying to make sense of it all in her head before she even thought about how to explain it to Jack.

Jack pulled up in the car park, looking over at Nikki. He was worried that she had been so silent and he was starting to wonder just what had happened at this lunch. Perhaps his suspicions had been right.

“What did he really want?” He asked, not wanting to wait any longer.

Nikki sighed, glancing over at him, “If you must know, he wanted us to get back together. He said that he had been an idiot for letting me get away and he wanted to make another go of things.”

“And what did you say to that?” Jack dared to push.

Nikki just rolled her eyes, “What do you think?”

Jack just chuckled at her.

Nikki reached over the threshold, her palm coming to rest on his cheek. Her lips connected with his briefly. That’s all she had wanted to do the moment the conversation had changed with Matt, she had just wanted Jack. That was proof enough to her that Jack was the only person she wanted in her life.

“Jack you have got nothing to worry about, okay?” She grinned. “You are my husband, the father of our child and I love you so much. Nothing will make me look the other way or even think about someone else. And you best believe that I’m not letting you go anywhere either.”

“I was only winding you up,” Jack kissed her back again. “But it’s good to know since I love you too.”


	21. Chapter 21

A new week at the Lyell and Nikki and Jack were another week closer to meeting their new child. Nikki felt as though she was growing day by day and she had a scary thought that she wouldn't be able to walk by the end of the nine months.

Conor had seemed to be making good progress with his treatment and he was starting to look somewhat livelier and more himself as the days went by. Either that or he was pretending that he was getting better for the sake of not stressing his son and daughter in law out. Better still, it had meant that Jack had become more relaxed in the past few weeks, taking the time to wait on Nikki hand and foot. Making sure that she wasn't doing too much. Although Nikki had to remind that she would rather do everything now whilst she still could. Before they have a screaming baby demanding every second of their life.

Jack and Nikki's hands parted as they walked round to sit at their respective desks. They both logged into their computers and set about getting themselves ready for the day ahead.

A couple of hours into their shift and a word had barely been passed between them, both too busy concentrating on the various bits of paperwork they were having to catch up on. The email notification caused Jack to flip his head up, his eyes scanning over the summary. He groaned as he took the words in, grabbing Nikki's attention.

"Everything okay?" She asked, smiling to herself as she watched Jack's face screw up.

Jack ran his hand over his hair, "I didn't realise I'd reached that age yet," he scoffed.

"What?" Now Nikki really was confused.

"The age where I get invited to a school reunion," he sighed, the thought of having to step foot in that place again terrifying him.

"A school reunion?" Nikki raised an eyebrow. "Sounds like it could be fun."

"You don't know my school," he retorted. "I can't go anyway, I want to stay here in case something happens with Da."

"How long do you think you'll be gone for?" She pushed, typical of Jack to back out something that would require him to actually socialise. Although she was fully aware that he hadn't been back to Ireland in over twenty years so no doubt returning back to his old haunts was going to bring back a lot of memories. But it could also do him a world of good, and it would give him a chance to get away from this place for a bit.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know. By the time we arrange flights and somewhere to stay, a couple of days probably."

"Well, I doubt anything is going to happen in a couple of days," she offered. "Besides, I'll be here so you won't have to worry about anything. It really would be a shame to miss this opportunity to meet up with all your old friends."

Jack chuckled, "Nikki you do realise that if I'm going then you're coming with me?"

"Are you sure you'd want me there?" She never even thought for a second that she would be joining him. She thought that this would be something he'd want to do on his own. "You don't think I'd be in the way?"

"What? Of course not!" He exclaimed, standing up and walking around to perch himself on the edge of her desk. He picked up her hand, his thumb running over the gold band that now resided on her finger. "You're my wife Nikki and unfortunately for you, if I'm getting invited to these sorts of things then you're obligated to go."

She rolled her eyes at him, "Well, I would love to go. And I think it would help if I was around to keep an eye on you. Make sure no old flames are rekindled," she winked, a smirk on her face.

"Didn't have you down as the jealous type Mrs Hodgson," he leaned in closer to her.

"I'm not," she teased, finding herself leaning in to close that gap between them. "I just know that absence can make the heart grow fonder." She could feel her breathing getting shallow and her heart was racing, Jack's face inches away from hers. They had been married for a little over four months and she was carrying their child, yet he still managed to make her feel like this. She could feel herself falling in love with him even more as each day passed.

Jack pulled back, putting that distance between them again and smiling as he watched her face drop, "Well there's no chance of that because I happen to have a very beautiful wife who may also be carrying our child. So I think I'm quite happy with what I've got thank you."

"Good," she breathed. She pushed back on her chair and stood up, moving so she could stand between his legs. "I should hope so."

Jack's hands landed on her waist. He felt his heart flutter as Nikki rested her hand on top of his, looking him in the eye as they both felt it. The tears welled up in his eyes as he felt his baby move against his palm, he almost forgot how to breathe he was that taken aback. It didn't feel real and in a way it freaked him out.

"I've never had that before," Nikki broke the silence, her eyes connecting with Jacks as she continued to feel the baby move inside of her. An odd sensation but an almost comforting one at the same time. "I've had the flutters but nothing as strong as that."

"She knows her dads around that's why," Jack grinned, his hands not moving as he felt another kick against his hand.

"She?" Nikki pulled a face at him.

Jack shrugged his shoulders, "Just feels right." They eventually closed that gap between them, Jack capturing Nikki's lips with his. He smiled to himself as he thought about what everyone was going to say to him when he rocked up with his beginnings of a new little family. That he, Jack Hodgson, the boy who would crumble in front of all the girls, now had an insanely stunning and intelligent wife. And a little baby who was getting bigger day after day. If only his mother could see him now, she would be so proud.

* * *

A week had passed since Jack had got that email and now him and Nikki were stood outside his old school. Ever since touching down on home ground, Jack had felt on edge. This was his first time back since he left after Uni, after his mother had died. He hadn't been back, couldn't face the memories. And sure enough they were hitting him in the face now. He wanted to feel happy, to show Nikki around all the sights whilst they had an opportunity. But it was just so weird being back.

Nikki glanced over at Jack, the nervousness written all over his face. She slipped her hand into his giving him a reassuring squeeze that she was going to be there with him all the way. She had known that feeling all too well, she'd felt it every time she would go back to South Africa, but she was used to it now. She forced herself to face up to it and now whenever she went back there, it was much as her home now than it was before. It was a place where she could relish in the memory of her mother.

Hopefully Jack would feel that soon but he had a stubborn streak and she had a feeling that this was going to be their one and only trip to Ireland. Which was a shame really because she would love to know more about the place, she had never been before. Never had a reason to but now she felt she had to, for the sake of their child. They should get to know where they come from at least. But, maybe this trip would be the turning point for Jack and they'll return again in the future, on his terms of course.

"You ready?" She asked.

"As I'll ever be," he remarked, taking a deep breath.

Jack squeezed Nikki's hand back as they made their way through the entrance and walked down various hallways before eventually reaching the main hall. They had done it up pretty well but it didn't look any different from the last time Jack was here and that really said a lot about the place. It even had the same smell. Jack felt a shiver crawl up his spine, it was strange. Being back here and having the memories whiz around his brain all in one go.

Nikki dropped Jack's hand, noticing the table full of drinks. Her eyes scanned over them, wondering if any of them were non-alcoholic, she couldn't really tell so thought it would be best to ask as she spotted a small old woman stood behind the table.

"Sorry, excuse me," she piped up, grabbing the older woman's attention. "Do you have anything non-alcoholic?" Her hand came to rest on her ever-growing stomach.

"Of course we do darlin'," the woman chimed. "I won't be a minute." And with that she disappeared.

Nikki turned back to face Jack as he surveyed the room. She could see that he was trying to find anyone he knew. He breathed a sigh of relief as there was no one he recognised just yet. He looked over at Nikki, feeling his heart skipping a beat as he caught her eye. He slowly made his way over to her again, picking up one of the drinks from the table behind her.

"I don't really think it's fair if you get to drink whilst I'm not allowed," she remarked. "Given that you were the one who got me into this mess in the first place." She quickly glanced down at her stomach before looking back up at him, a smile on her face.

"It takes two to tango," he raised an eyebrow at her. "But it's a fair point. I'll only have the one glass because I've already started it. But no more after this one, I promise."

"I'm only winding you up," she joked. She raised a hand to fix his shirt but she was interrupted by the woman approaching her, a glass of orange juice in her hand.

"Here you go my love," she handed the glass over to Nikki who accepted it gratefully.

"Mary?" Jack spoke, an incredulous look on his face as he took in the pint sized woman.

"Jack? Jack Hodgson? Is that really you," Mary exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Jack's neck and engulfing him into her arms. Nikki stifled a chuckle at the sight of Jack having to practically fold himself in half just so the woman could give him a hug. She eventually let him go again but she kept her hands on his cheeks. "I can't believe it. You have not changed a bit. Well, you might be a bit taller than the last time I remember you but you've still got that handsome face of yours."

She dropped her hands, remembering the blonde woman that was watching them closely, trying to decipher just how this other woman knew Jack. "And this is?"

"This is Nikki," he grinned. "My wife."

The woman was now pulling Nikki into a hug, squeezing her tightly before pulling back again, "Oh if your mother could see you now. And with a baby on the way! Do you know what it is yet?"

Jack shook his head, his arm snaking behind Nikki's waist, bringing a kiss to her temple before dropping his arm again, "No, we've got another couple of weeks to go yet."

"Well congratulations the both of you," she beamed at them. "Your Ma would be so proud. We'll have to have a proper catch up soon and not when I'm serving food and drinks to you ungrateful lot again," she chuckled.

"Come on now _I_ was always grateful," Jack chimed in, giving her a wink.

"That you were son, that you were," she patted Jack on the back before moving to stand behind the table once again. "Give my love to your father, yeah?"

Jack nodded, not finding the heart to tell her there and then that his father was seriously ill and could only be alive for the next couple of months. He was doing fine at the minute but Jack knew how these things worked, you could be on top of the world one day and the next you're on your death bed.

Picking up on Jack's sudden shift in mood at the mention of his father, Nikki hand came to rest in the back pocket of his jeans as she leaned in closer to him. She smiled as she felt him wrap his arm around her shoulder.

"I'm disappointed," she sighed.

"Why?" Jack's brows furrowed as he looked down at her.

"Because we've been here for ten minutes and I have yet to see a picture of you," she teased him.

"But you've seen loads of pictures of me from when I was younger," Jack made to move more towards the centre of the hall, his arm dropping from around her. He had spotted a few pictures that he recognised dotted around the place so he reluctantly guided her towards them.

Nikki carried on her point as they did so, "But there's something about school photos that bring out the worst in people," she giggled watching his face drop as he feigned offence.

She had a point though, he had always hated school photos for that exact reason. The awkward way they used to make you sit and the stupid smile they'd make you do. You always came out looking different in each one. He was glad that his mother never wanted them and would much rather take her own pictures of him. At least then he had some nice pictures of him to look back on.

Nikki moved away from Jack as she noticed a few photos from what looked like various different sports teams, but she was having a hard time trying to find him. She knew what he looked like but he didn't seem to be in any of these photos so far. Which she was quite surprised at really, he'd always struck her as an athletic person, being at the gym all the time in the nine years that they had known each other. But then, for all she knew that could be something he'd gotten into as he got older.

Her eyes continued scanning over the photos trying to find him whilst her mind was still busy wondering who that woman had been. Whoever she was, she clearly had meant a lot to Jack to know about his mother. More than just someone who worked in his old school, "Who was that woman?" She piped up, not taking her eyes off the photos.

"Oh her," Jack started, knowing exactly who Nikki was talking about. "That was Mary, she worked in the school canteen but she was a close family friend. She was like my second mother and she always used to give me extra chips on a Friday," he grinned as he reminisced. She'd give him a wink and chuck an extra handful on his plate while no one else was looking. He was sure they all knew she did it but with everything that he had been through with his aunt at the time, he supposed they didn't mind that much.

"She seemed lovely," Nikki shot a smile at him before looking back at the photos. She had moved on to the one with the whole year and her eyes widened as she found him. He looked so small, nothing like how he is today. "Look at you." She pointed him out.

Jack just let out a sigh as he leaned in closer and sure enough she had spotted him. He opened his mouth to speak but he was interrupted by someone calling his name. A voice he would recognise anywhere but not one he had heard in twenty years.

"Jack Hodgson it is you," the man almost ran over to him and pulled him into a hug, patting each other on the back. Jack beamed, this was probably the only person he had been excited to see, although he did recognise the woman that was following behind him.

He pulled back from the man, "Mark Blake, I don't believe it. You haven't changed a bit," Nikki's ears pricked up, noticing Jack's accent getting stronger. She can't say she was surprised, this always happened when he was with his Dad, but being back on home turf was making it even stronger this time around. Jack looked at the woman who had now caught up to the pair. "Wait, are you two?" He gestured between them.

Mark flashed his left hand to Jack, "Been about fifteen years now hasn't it?"

Jack laughed at them, pointing at the woman, "I knew it. I knew you two would end up together. Come here," he pulled the brown haired woman into a hug.

Nikki watched the interaction between the three people fondly although somewhat awkwardly. It was always weird when this happened, it was usually Nikki who was the one introducing everyone to Jack and the one who was making conversation whilst Jack followed her around like a lost lamb. Now she was the one doing the following and waiting on Jack to remember that she was there so she could be introduced.

She stepped closer to Jack, making herself known a bit more to the small group as she laid a hand on his arm.

"Ah Nikki," he glanced at her. "This was my best friend from school Mark and his wife Louise."

"Lovely to meet you," Nikki held her hand out to shake both of their hands, the polite smile on her face.

"So tell us," Mark began, his eyes switching between the pair. "What you up to these days? Where do you work? Where do you live? Because it's certainly not around these parts. Not with your accent," he shot at Nikki.

She always hated this bit, having to tell people her job. She was so proud of it and loved it with every inch of her but people always made a face and asked her how she could stomach a job like that. She let Jack do the talking instead.

"I'm a Forensic Scientist," Jack explained. "I moved down to London a few years, met this one and the rest is history."

Nikki rolled her eyes, if it were only that simple.

"What do you do then Nikki?" Louise asked, noticing that the woman had gone quiet.

And there it was, maybe she couldn't get away with letting Jack speak for her, "I'm a pathologist, Jack and I work alongside each other. It's how we met."

"A pathologist?" Mark screwed his face up. "Isn't that cutting up dead bodies?"

Nikki did her best to swallow her remark, "Well I like to see it as a sort of crime scene really. Much like Jack I investigate little details, things that don't add up or make sense. A little bit more than just cutting up a dead body," she wasn't as blunt as she would've liked to have been. These were Jack's friends after all so she had to make a good impression. Besides, she could blame her sharp tone on her hormones after all.

The thought of the baby brought her hand up to rest on her stomach again and she could feel the little one moving around in there. Her lips twitched. But her gesture hadn't gone unnoticed by the others.

"How far gone are you?" Louise questioned, gesturing with her head.

"About twenty weeks or so," Jack said proudly. His hands were on her lower back again as his thumb stroked her spine.

"And is this your first?" Louise pushed to which Nikki nodded. "Well, take my advice, just have the one. Kids are a pain in the arse. We've managed to palm them off to my mother for a couple of days but they are a handful. But we love them all the same."

Nikki didn't take much notice of what the woman was saying to her. She was about to say something back but she was cut off by Jack pressing his lips to the side of her head and saying that he wouldn't be a moment. She watched as he walked away in the direction of a woman who looked not too dissimilar to herself. Her brows furrowed as he tapped her on the shoulder, there was a scream and she was throwing herself into Jack's arms. A pang of jealousy hit her, she didn't know why. She wasn't a jealous person but she couldn't help it as she watched the interaction. Louise had obviously picked up on this and moved to stand next to Nikki.

"Who's that?" Nikki asked, surprising herself by managing to keep her voice steady.

"That is May," Mark answered, oblivious to Nikki's change in mood. "They were always really close in school, everyone thought they were going to end up getting married. Even had bets on it. But then all that stuff happened with," he paused, looking over at Louise. "What was her name again?"

"Katie," Louise spoke.

"That's it!" He exclaimed. "They grew apart after that but that doesn't seem to be phasing them now."

Nikki didn't know what had come over her, Jack had visibly become much happier in a matter of seconds and she couldn't help but feel hurt by that. She knew she was being silly, they were now married and had a child on the way after all. And it was hardly like he was going to run off with another woman right in front of her. She shook the thoughts away, her hormones really weren't helping the situation.

"You've got nothing to worry about though," Louise chimed in. "All that is in the past trust me. He loves you very much I can tell. And don't let those hormones cloud your vision either, they had me accusing Mark of all sorts. Nothing turned out to be true though, so don't worry."

Nikki nodded, taking it in. The woman had a point, she had no reason to be jealous. She felt her heart sink as he looked around the room and his connected with hers as he gestured for her to join them. _This was going to be awkward,_ she thought to herself as she began the walk over to her husband.

"This is my wife Nikki," Jack announced as he placed his hand on her lower back once again. "Nikki, this is my _good_ friend May."

Nikki tentatively shook hands with the fellow woman, keeping that polite smile she always had on her face in these situations.

"Congratulations," May looked down at Nikki's bump. "My partner and I are about to start the planning for us to have kids. When are you due?"

"Four months from now," Nikki answered, her hand running across her stomach briefly. "Partner?"

"Oh yes, she's around here somewhere," the woman eyes scanned around the room.

 _She_ , now Nikki felt really stupid. She tried not to make the fact she was now feeling much more relaxed so obvious.

"I better go find her actually," she looked back at the pair, her face seemingly worried. "She's probably somewhere causing hassle. I'll catch you later, yeah?"

Although, she didn't give Jack much time to answer before she was walking away from them and disappearing into the small crowd of people. Jack turned to Nikki, his hand running up and down her back. She leaned into him, the feeling soothing her back that was now starting to hurt.

"You okay?" He asked.

Nikki nodded, looking up at him. There was a sparkle in his eye and she knew that he was about to start winding her up. He had seen it a mile off, from the moment he had left her to say hello to May, he could feel her eyes boring into him. It was very unlike Nikki, she usually kept calm and fairly stoic, not letting things like that get to her. But this clearly had and Jack was going to have fun lapping that up.

"Tell me to piss off," Jack grinned. "But were you jealous back there Dr Alexander?"

Nikki bit her lip, lifting a finger up at him, "One, we're not in work so it's Mrs Hodgson thank you," she raised an eyebrow. "And two, no I wasn't."

"Okay," he leaned in closer, stealing a kiss. "Only if you're sure. Fancy a walk?"

Nikki just shrugged her shoulders as she let Jack guide her out of the hall and down some corridors. They eventually reached a room that looked like a science lab from the outside and as Jack opened the door, Nikki's suspicions were confirmed. The numerous Bunsen burners and sinks dotted around the place.

Jack felt like he was fifteen again as he walked in, the same burnt wood smell hitting him in the face. Now he felt like he was home. In the one place that led him to where he was now.

"This is where it all started," Jack breathed as he walked around. Making his way over to his old desk, a smile spreading across his face as his fingers ran over his name he had scratched into the wood. Nikki joined him, chuckling as she seen what he was pointing at.

"Jack Hodgson," she laughed. "I never had you down as a vandal."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," he winked.

"Oh really?" She threw back at him, a smirk on her face. "Well enlighten me Mr Hodgson."

Jack edged closer to her, backing her against the desk. He closed the gap between them, capturing her lips with his. Nikki's hand came to rest at the back of his head, her fingers running through his hair. The kiss deepened as Jack's arms snaked around her waist but they were suddenly interrupted by a coughing coming from the other end of the room. Jack jumped back from Nikki and turned around, his face bright red as he seen who was standing there.

"Jack Hodgson, you may not be a pupil at this school anymore but I can still find a way to give you a detention," the old man grinned, a twinkle in his eye. "Although I never had a reason to give you a detention back in the day. You always seemed to behave for me."

"Mr Shaw," Jack made his way over, holding his hand out. "Nikki, _this_ is the man who started it all."

"Stop it," the man waved him off with his hand before going to shake Nikki's. "Richard Shaw. Chemistry."

"Nikki Hodgson, pathologist," she spoke, still not quite used to introducing herself with her full name yet. "Although I am still Dr Alexander at work." She eyed Jack briefly.

"A pathologist?" The man slowly nodded. "That must be an exciting job. Is it where you two met? I'm assuming you kept at the forensics, Jack."

"I sure did," Jack replied, perching himself on the desk. "Best decision I ever made."

"So where are you from Nikki?" He glanced over at her. "That's not an Irish accent I hear."

"Do you want the long answer or the short answer?" She joked. Much like the older woman, Mary, she had met earlier, this man had an ability to make her feel at ease. A warmness to his tone. She wasn't feeling awkward as she had with Jack's friends. "I moved to London when I was a teenager but I was born in South Africa. The accent dropped pretty quickly."

"South Africa? Woah, I've always wanted to go there," he smiled. "So you're down making it big in London, ey? Good! I'm glad you're making a name yourself," he turned to Nikki again. "Do you know, in all my years of teaching, he's still my best student. I've never had someone go the efforts that he did. Sometimes I just wanted to sit back and let him take the class."

"Not much has changed then," Nikki winked at Jack, her hand running over the top of his head.

"That baby is going to be one bright spark," the man pointed out. "With the two of you as parents. Their first words will probably be something from the periodic table."

That made them laugh, knowing that there was some truth in that. And no doubt it would be Jack's fault. The man moved past them, heading to his desk at the front of the class and pulling something out of the draw.

"Well I best be off," he announced. "It was lovely seeing you again Jack and meeting you Nikki. We'll have to meet up soon. I hope everything goes well with the baby." And with that he was gone.

Jack reached out to grab Nikki's hand as he pulled her closer to him. She was now standing in front of him, in between his legs, "I'm done," he sighed, resting his forehead on her stomach. As he did so he could hear her stomach rumbling. He chuckled to himself before looking back up at her again. "I think someone's hungry."

"I think we both are."

"Right, come on then Mrs Hodgson," he stood, his hand still holding hers as they made their way out of the classroom. "Enough bad memories for one day, don't you think?"


	22. Chapter 22

His heart was fluttering as he watched the small movements in her stomach. He had been awake for hours, fascinated by it all. He had tried to map out which limb she was sticking out and he was sure he could make out a hand. Jack had spent so long staring at Nikki’s protruding stomach he hadn’t realised that she had woken up.

“Having fun?” She broke the silence, causing him to jump.

“What does it feel like?” He asked, his voice croaking as he moved to steal a kiss from her.

Nikki smiled, the feeling of his lips pressing into hers still making her skin tingle. “It’s a bit like having butterflies,” she explained, running her hand across her bump. “But when it kicks, it does start to hurt after a while.”

“She,” Jack corrected her as he raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, so we’re still sticking with _she_ are we?”

“Well, it depends, are we going to find out at the scan this afternoon?” He pushed, sweeping a piece of hair behind her ear. “It’d be good to know if I have been right about her this whole time.”

“So you can gloat about it, do you mean?”

He rolled his eyes at her before closing the gap between them once again, “No, of course not.”

Nikki’s fingers knitted through his hair as his lips travelled across her jawline; the goosebumps erupting all over her skin. It was tempting, to let him have his wicked way with her. But they still had to get ready for work, they still had a morning of reports and paperwork to sort out before they could even think about the scan that afternoon. And Sam would hardly be impressed if they turned up late _and_ left early.

“Jack,” there was a warning tone to her voice and apparently it was all she needed to say as the kisses soon stopped and he was now mumbling something into her skin; whatever it had been, Nikki was unable to decipher it. “Sorry what was that?”

Jack was lifting his head, the extra hours he had been awake already starting to take its toll on him as his eyes drooped, “I said, don’t you ever stop thinking about work?”

Nikki’s mouth opened, trying to think of something to quip back at him. But he was hardly far from the truth, she was a workaholic through and through. And a marriage along with a baby on the way was hardly going to change that. Work had been her way of life for as long as she could remember and it was going to be difficult to get out of that routine; she knew she was going to have to try sooner or later though. There was only a couple of months left until she was going on maternity leave after all.

“Once this wee one arrives,” Jack continued, knowing that he was getting the better of her now and feeling rather smug that he had left her speechless; something that not many people could boast about. His palm was resting against her stomach now, his heart racing as he felt her move underneath his hand. “You are going to have to actually take time off work.”

“I know,” she sighed. “And I will, I promise. I think this one will occupy my mind enough. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t get on with the work whilst I still can. It’s my life Jack, I enjoy it. It gives me a reason to live.”

“And the two of us aren’t reason enough?”

Nikki shook her head, her hand cupping his cheek, “I don’t mean it like that. You’re both the reason why I get up in the morning. But my job, helping people find justice and peace in this godforsaken world. It makes me feel important, that what I do is worthwhile.”

Jack’s lips twitched fondly, “I’m only winding you up.” He was pushing himself up off the bed now, “But if you want to make it to work on time, you’d best get out of bed now Mrs Hodgson.”

* * *

They had been at work for a few hours, nothing major had happened. No new bodies. They were still sorting out things on the small case herself and Jack had been working on whilst Sam took on the bigger ones; a decision made by herself so as to give the pair somewhat of a break.

Nikki had seemed to have disappeared off somewhere so Jack, being the doting husband he was, decided to make the two of them a cup of tea. It wouldn’t be long until they were having to pack everything away and get ready to go to the hospital for their scan. Jack couldn’t put into words how excited he had been about the whole ordeal. Ever since going back home and seeing all his friends, and the families they had made themselves.

It had made him realise just how much he couldn’t wait to hold his daughter in his arms. He chuckled to himself, they hadn’t had it officially confirmed yet - they were going to have to wait until two o’clock for that. But ever since they had taken the test and found out Nikki was pregnant Jack had had this strong feeling it was going to be a girl. It seemed right somehow.

And he could picture her already, bright blonde hair with dark green eyes, just like his. When she was older he knew that she would be just as stubborn and just as smart as her mother. But Jack didn’t mind in the slightest. Because if she ended up like her mother then she would have the biggest heart and that could never be a bad thing.

He was making his way back to his desk, two mugs in his hands when he spotted something in the corner of his eye. As he turned his head, he noticed a woman stood by the entrance. His eyebrows screwed together, they hadn’t been expecting anyone and he didn’t recognise her. Moving, he placed the cups down and headed to find out just what exactly she had wanted.

“Can I help you?” He queried as he pulled the door open. He was quick to notice how she had jumped.

“Oh sorry,” she replied. “I was just looking for Dr Nikki Alexander. I’m sure I seen that she still works here.”

“She does,” Jack was trying to suss her out. She was young, although she couldn’t have been that much younger than himself or Nikki - perhaps around the same age. He looked over his shoulder and it was if she’d known they were talking about her as she appeared from around the corner. “Ah here she is.”

“Jack did you manage to get hold of that DNA for-” Nikki was cut off as her eyes connected with the woman stood in front of Jack. She had felt her stomach drop to the floor; that was a face she hadn’t seen in a very long time. “Charlie? What are you doing here?” The smile grew as Nikki stepped across the hallway to pull the woman into a tight hug.

“I was in the area and I thought I’d come in to surprise you,” Charlie grinned, squeezing Nikki briefly before pulling her back to take her all in. Her eyes had widened at Nikki’s protruding stomach and she was quick to notice the the gold band that now sat on her finger. “I don’t believe it, Nikki Alexander has actually settled down. Married _and_ a baby on the way? Never thought I’d live to see the day! Who’s the lucky man?”

Nikki glanced at Jack who was now holding his hand out to shake Charlie’s hand, “That would be me. Jack Hodgson,” he smiled politely. “Look I’ll leave you both to it and get on with that DNA match,” his hand was now running up and down Nikki’s arm before he was pressing a kiss into the side of her head. “Don’t forget. Two o’clock.”

“I won’t,” Nikki rolled her eyes as she watched him leave.

“He seems nice,” Charlie breathed. “Hope he knows how to handle you.”

“You’d think I’d marry him if he didn’t?” Nikki raised an eyebrow, a chuckle escaping her lips. “Look, come inside,” she guided the way. “Coffee or tea?”

“Just a tea thanks.”

Charlie was leaning against the counter as Nikki set about making her a cup of tea. The air was starting to grow awkward between them; there was an elephant in the room now. It had been such a long time since her and Charlie had spoken, lest spoken about what had happened between them.

It didn’t bother Nikki, she was comfortable with who she was and who she liked. Charlie wasn’t the first and she certainly wasn’t the last; well at least until she had met Jack. But it wasn’t often she bumped into her old encounters so she wasn’t quite sure of how to deal with it. And unlike all the others, she had liked Charlie. It had been something of a whirlwind romance and she had been upset about it ending so soon. But that had been her life all over; they never stayed for very long - she was glad now that Jack was proving to be the exception to that rule.

“I always thought that it would be Harry,” Charlie broke the silence, still choosing to avoid the more pressing issue. “What ever happened to him? Where is he now?”

Nikki handed the mug over to her, “He’s in America. Got offered a professorship. He’s still there now, got a wife and kids,” she smiled. “Harry and I would never have lasted anyway. We were too similar, one of us would’ve end up on the slab one day.”

Charlie laughed, knowing that there was truth in that. She had partly witnessed one of their arguments and it had not been a pretty sight; insults being thrown across the room. She was surprised that it hadn’t ended up being scalpels if she was being totally honest.

The smile was dropping now, “I heard about Leo. I’m so sorry.”

Nikki waved her hand before it was moving to rest on her stomach, “It’s fine. It’s been nine years now I think,” she let out a deep breath. “It still hurts but things happens.” Her eyes were now searching Charlie’s, the silence settling between them once again.

She was picking at her fingernails, she never quite knew how to deal with awkward silences and she was desperate to say something. But she wasn’t quite sure of just _how_ she should say it. It seemed as though she didn’t have to say anything however as Charlie had beaten her to it.

“I still think about you,” she paused. “About us,” Charlie was putting her hands up in defence now. “I didn’t come here to win you back or anything. I can see that you are happy and well and truly in love. You can see that from a mile off but I just wanted to see you. I miss you, that’s all.”

Nikki’s lips twitched, “I miss you too, I-” She had started but was being interrupted by Jack who was now standing awkwardly in the doorway.

He didn’t want to intrude, whoever this woman had been was clearly important to Nikki but time was starting to catch up on them and they were going to have to make a move soon as no doubt they’d end up stuck in traffic, especially at this time of day.

Charlie’s eyes flicked between Jack and Nikki, quickly picking up that it was her cue to wrap things up and leave the two of them to it, “I should probably get going actually,” she placed her mug back down on the counter before digging into her pocket to pull out a card. She handed it to Nikki. “That’s my number. I think we should have a proper catch up soon.”

Nikki nodded eagerly, “Of course.” She was pulling Charlie into a hug once again, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to emerge. She hadn’t known why she had suddenly become so upset but she supposed that she could just blame it on the hormones.

Charlie pulled back, saying her goodbyes to the two of them before leaving them alone.

“We should get going if we want to be there by two,” Jack spoke, still standing in the doorway and pushing his weight between each foot.

Nikki wiped the back of her hand across her face, “Of course.” She brushed past him, packing her stuff away and pulling her coat over her body. She made sure to say her goodbyes to Sam before she was joining Jack again, her hand threading through his as they both headed towards the car.

They hadn’t been driving long before Jack was speaking, “So who’s this Charlie then?” He had seen how emotional she had been and now he was even more curious as to who this woman was.

“She used to work in the Lyell,” Nikki started. She gazed over at her husband, she wasn’t sure if she should tell him the thorough details of her relationship with Charlie. She wasn’t quite sure of the protocols in discussing past love affairs with your current partner. But this was Jack after all. The same person who had watched her drift in and out of many a relationship over the years; he was hardly going to be one to judge her for another one. “We were sort of together at some point.”

“What? You and Charlie?”

Nikki nodded, “It didn’t last long. I don’t think it would’ve worked. But I liked her,” she let out a sigh. “She was nice. She made me laugh and put a much needed smile on my face. Not that I would change anything now, I’m _very_ happy with my current situation,” the smirk emerged as her eyes caught with his. “But I often wonder what could’ve been, you know?”

Jack nodded slowly, “I think you’d be a bit weird if you didn’t think about the what ifs from time to time,” he reached over the threshold to place his hand on her thigh; his thumb smoothing over the fabric of her trousers.

“Thank you,” she said eventually.

“For what?”

“For not judging me.”

Jack’s face screwed up, “Why on earth would I judge you Nikki? It’s your life,” he scoffed at her. “As long as you’re not thinking about running away and leaving me then I don’t care about anything else.”

“That is the last thing I could ever want to do,” she grinned. “I love you too much.”

“I love you too.”

It wasn’t long before they were arriving at the hospital. They had both been feeling fairly okay, but as Jack switched the engine off, it truly sunk in. They were about to find out whether Jack had been right in his gut feeling or not. It was almost as if finding out the sex, would be a confirmation that this was all really happening.

Picking up her sudden nervousness, Jack took hold of her hand giving it a squeeze, “It’ll be okay.”

Nikki nodded, not quite finding any other words to input. And with that they made their way inside, checking themselves in and sitting down in the chairs in the waiting room. Jack had yet to drop her hand and Nikki was beginning to wonder if it was bringing a comfort to him more than her. The minutes seemed to feel like forever but eventually she heard her name being called and the two of them were following behind after the midwife.

The room looked the same as it had before and it was almost like deja vu, except this time Nikki was a lot bigger and knew what to expect. She did as she was told as the midwife prepared to take the scan.

“Now are we finding out the sex today?” She asked, her eyes flicking between the expecting parents.

Nikki glanced at Jack, to make sure that this was something he really wanted to know. He gave her the smallest of nods before she was looking back at the midwife, “Yes please.”

“Well let’s just see is everything is as it should be first and then we’ll see if baby wants us to know,” she smiled politely.

Nikki jumped as she felt the cold gel coming into contact with her skin before the midwife was pressing the scanner into her lower abdomen. Her hand reaching out for Jack’s as she closed her eyes; wishing that everything was okay. The silence coming from the midwife almost daunting.

“And we should hear a heartbeat now,” the midwife flicked on the machine and both Jack and Nikki audibly relaxed as the rhythmic beat echoed throughout the room. “You can open your eyes now,” she chuckled as she turned the monitor to face the two people. “Everything is fine, and _she_ appears to be very healthy. The right size. Nothing to worry about.”

“She?” Jack beamed. “Definitely?”

The midwife rolled her eyes before nodding, “Definitely.”

The tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched the baby moving on the screen, her features more defined than the last scan. She could see her hands and her feet, she looked more like a baby than a blob now. “She’s perfect,” fell from her mouth.

“Isn’t she just,” Jack was holding Nikki’s hands against his lips, overcome with emotion; his own cheeks stained with tears.

They stayed there for a few minutes, just watching their baby on the screen, almost wishing that they could hold her in their arms now and meet her properly. Nikki had been worrying that perhaps she wouldn’t feel anything for the baby inside her, that once she would arrive she wouldn’t know what to do with her. But as she continued to watch her baby writhe around she knew, that with Jack by her side, she would be just fine.

They got the pictures printed off and just like before, Nikki hadn’t been able to tear her eyes away from it.

“Now that we know it’s a girl we should probably start thinking about names,” Jack breathed as he buckled his seatbelt in.

“Grace,” Nikki replied suddenly, looking up at Jack to read his reaction. It had been a name that had been playing on her mind ever since she had found out what his mothers name had been. He hadn’t been against the idea before but now that they knew, she couldn’t think of anything else that was more fitting. Their little Grace.

“What?”

“I want to call her Grace,” she confirmed. “After you mother. It’s been stuck in my head for weeks and now we know that she’s a girl,” her hand smoothed over her stomach. “I think it will really suit her. Grace Hodgson.”

Jack didn’t hesitate to capture her lips with his own, “Thank you.”


End file.
